Sounds like a good plan to me an dmake sure you true to stick to it this time:)Quote:
Originally Posted by ldanny
Goodluck
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Sounds like a good plan to me an dmake sure you true to stick to it this time:)Quote:
Originally Posted by ldanny
Goodluck
So howd it go danny ? Did u two meet up?
I'm wondering how it went too.
You did not really mess up... yes, she asked for space... and no, you did not respect yourself because you let her treat you like that and you just went after her... but, it appears she had already made up her mind about spending her life with you before asking you for space. y'all have been together so long! Please look up "soul ties" on the net, and study the articles . There is also a part two and another article link from there that is awesome, and will direct you in how to let go.
So she called around noon.. I didn't answer, so she texted me. "I can't make it and Ill call you later."
I felt bad so I called her back and just told her "I don't think its a good idea for you to talk to me or see me until you have enough of the space you need." She said "Oh, ok." And I said, " I have to go, we will talk later sometime...." then I hung up. I kept it short and straight to the point.
I felt bad because she sounded shock and sad. BUT all of my friends are telling me I did the right thing. So I am going back to NC. If she really wants to be with me she will call me or come see me. I am done playing games, I am cutting that string she is using.
That's unfortunate but sounds like you handled it well. I am supposed to talk to my ex tomorrow and will probably not be getting any good news either.
Good for you man. She may or may not come back its hard to tell. My ex told me yesterday that she won't call and bother me anymore but I doubt it's the end. Time will tell. I think we need to just keep to NC and take care of ourselves...
Unfortunate? How so?
It's not unfortunate, danny. You did the right thing. She's only playing with you. You need to show her that you're strong, you're not her puppet. She wanted space, she now has space. If she has no desire to be with you romantically, then that's it. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you did the best thing you could do.
I think it's a good idea to put the brakes on relationship when one person has isn't happy. Your girlfriend has expectations for herself, and from her family. You didn't create them for her, and you shouldn't change your life to fit into them. They might not be realistic. She needs to figure that out herself.
I've had many friends that thought they had to get married right after college, or by the time they turned 30. Their goal was to get married... not to stay married. Most of them got divorced, or are having affairs now.
So I spoke to her again.. she told me that she wasn't ready for anything.. just wanted to make sure we weren't on bad terms.. . eff her.. I texted her back.. "dont call or text unless its important. thanks"
Totally bs. via text
ME:"Have Fun tonight. I think it would be a good idea if you don;t call or text me unless it is important. dont worry if I go anywhere ill tell you like you told me about ur trip. Take care "
HER:"That doesnt sound right. But Fine. we will just give each other space. I'm sorry if i make you feel like im jerking you around I have no intentions of hurting you. u take care too. i'll always care about u"
Me: "what doesnt sound right?"
Her: "nm be safe with everything you do. ill call you when things r better. xoxo
I called her back to say. " was that about?"
Her: "I'm getting upset, bye."
7 years of my life and this is what I get.. bs totally bs
Lets be real clear here Danny, This back and forth false hope bull crap would have been done with, if you had really done NC in the first place, and not the watered down version, where every time she Pi$$es you off you holler NC, and then go right back to talking to her.
In my day we called it half-stepping, and it doesn't work!! Either do as you say your going to do, or quit telling people what your going to do.
You come off as a person who can be manipulated, and controlled, by false hope.
Yes.. I know.. just that somewhere inside, I was hoping that it would work... its like the feeling, if you don't try then you will never know kind of thing. The "hope" part of false hope, is probably the reason why I keep messing up. I know what I need to do, I just need to stick to it. I am going to block her number so hopefully that will help me more.
Sorry for being so back and forth, but this isn't easy no matter how much I tell myself I'm going to be strong. But I appreciate the support.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ldanny
There will always be feelings of the 'what if' thoughts and the 'hope' that you guys will get back together. Right now, you're all over the place with your thoughts. I know it's hard man, seven years is a really long time... but what's holding you back, is YOU. Leave her alone and when you say you're going to block her number, block it and let it be done.
Listen Danny, my girlfriend of nine years left me... with a lousy goodbye. I'd say that was the most difficult thing I've ever had to deal with. Watch her walk out that door, without giving a damn about me and what she was leaving. You think I didn't want to call her, text her, email her for expressing how desperate I was? I went NC April 21st and have been ever since. It was the hardest thing I've ever done and continues to be. But over a month of NC, my thoughts, doubts and fears became a little easier to deal with. I have a new sense and perspective towards my feelings towards my ex. It will get easier, you will move forward. You just have to make the decision for yourself and go NC and stick to it.
Push yourself man, it's a day struggle.. but everyday will get a little easier. It's time to move on with your life man, don't waste it on someone who messes around with your feelings.
Has she tried to contact u at all ajgamino?
Quote:
Originally Posted by myuz
Twice since. Once for sure, but then a "blocked" number called me about two days ago. She's the only one that does that on my phone, so I'm not sure if it was her or not. Either way, I didn't answer them. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to resist.
.. but I did resist, I need to worry about myself now.
Do not quit telling yourself that. Never. She's playing games with you and you are strong enough to see it. That's a start. Take every positive you can at this point because they are yours.Quote:
Originally Posted by ldanny
Update: so I blocked her number and text and Facebook... NC and was going strong.. And out of nowhere, she calls the house... and my mom KNOWS I don't want to talk to her, and still tells her I'm at home.. and hands me the phone.. sigh... just can't get away..
Yes you can! Last time I checked, those phone have a hang up button, so next time simply press it
And I'm out
This.Quote:
Originally Posted by Romefalls19
She was cheating...
update:
So I found out that she wasn't needing space but she was cheating on me for the second time.. She was jerking me around and everything. She used me to help her move and as a front for her family (She was having an affair with a married man w/ kids). It was a HUGE mess. BUT I pulled it together and went NC since June.
But then around Sept. She called me with a blocked number.I got an email from her but I didn't answer it. Then I got like 5 calls on both of my phones from an unknown # so I thought it had to someone really needing to contact me so I answered. Here is the kicker, she called me the day before MCATs =(
When I realized it was her I told her I had to go and hung up.
Last week, she called and texted me again. Saying that she would like the stuff I offered to her. I didn't respond and she txted me a picture of our dog. That was such a punch in the gut, I love that dog so much. Sigh... But I pulled it strong and did not meet with her.
And today is her birthday, I had to force myself not to call or email happy birthday. It is amazing how well I was doing and this can still trip me up a bit. But overall, it has been a rough few months but I see better days ahead...
here is the question, what the heck should I do with all the pictures and cards... Parts of me wants to trash it and other parts of me thinks shouldn't be too emotional and just drop it off at her parents. Man I miss my dog, she doesn't take care of the dog.. her parents has the dog.. go figure...
Cheated on you a second time? After that, I think you can pretty much trash the pictures and cards. It will only remind that you dated a cheater.
You've come a long way Idanny. You did well in igoring her. It sounded like she just wanted a booty call. Stay strong and don't give in! Keep it up!
You re doing well-as for your ex-good riddance to bad rubbish.
Thanks for coming back, and updating us. Seems you have been doing well on your own, and you are finding out the only good thing about this whole situation was the dog.
I'm not going to lie, it has been pretty rough and its still pretty rough... I just realized that its been quite awhile, it feels like when I quit smoking almost... its super hard but sometimes when I hear/see a cig I still want to try it.. Same thing with the ex, I hear her and somewhere inside of me wants to talk to her and see her... But also like smoking, I know there isn't anything good that can come from it.
Old habits do die hard, for sure, but your on the right path. I think when you resolve the "stuff" issue, then it gets better. Her phone calls have stirred up some old feelings, but they will pass in time.
So should I just trash the stuff? But man I miss my dog LOL
Send it to her. That ends her involvement, but the dog, honestly I don't know how she would feel about that, or her parents. You sure could ask and find out though. As I remember you bought the dog together, so no telling how she reacts to that. Just don't fall into a trap you can't get out of.
Cool.. ill probably do that... don't know why, but I feel bad for not saying happy birthday to her even though she screwed me over and all..
Its good you didn't though. You still hold power.Quote:
Originally Posted by ldanny
OK so today I dropped off everything with her parents and I just texted her, told her that her stuff is with her parents.
... man I love her parents, they were still so nice to me still. Life sucks... but on the bright side, I saw my dog..
I hope you can heal for real now. Good luck and take care..
I hope so too.. I think she got the hint after I didn't contact her for her birthday... for some reason, I'm a little sad she didn't respond back to me.. man I just need to stay away and really heal
Wow.. the year has past so quickly.. for a mini update.
She tried to contact me a few months back but I ignored her and I have been NC since last year. It always gets hard around the holidays but overall it hasn't been too bad. Moving on and (trying) not look back.
So for all the people that just broke up, there is a light at the end of the tunnel! You will feel a rush of emotions but just follow the NC rule! I was a lot better once I started really following NC!
Happy Holidays!
I love it when a plan comes together, have a great holiday Dan!
Awesome!
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