Oh. Do they want to be able to sleep around or something and not ready to commit?Quote:
Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi
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Oh. Do they want to be able to sleep around or something and not ready to commit?Quote:
Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi
For sure, they want to explore, they want to see what's out there. Times have changed, people study till their late twenties now, it's hard to focus on work, school and relationships.Quote:
Originally Posted by none12345
A lot of stress and pressure. It's usually best when all this is done and the girl is ready to get serious. Watch out with girls who never had a serious relationship, you might be their first test.
Is the above also true for boys?
Hmmm I don't know about you guys. But I'm the type of person that would want a girl that waits for the special someone and not sleep around... >_< because I'm the same
And yes it goes both ways teastalk
I have read that women, won't appreciate men who are more serious and ready to settle down till they are 33. In general. You know, how we are told, "You're a nice guy, but i don't love you." I'm guessing the women wasn't entirely mature, and probably younger than her 30s. It was a Psychological study on what people want. Well, girls are complaining that they can't find that "nice guy", they are also turning them down left and right. The reasoning behind it was: We live longer, go to school longer, work longer, and retire for longer periods of time; generally speaking. Girls are no longer looking to settle for just any one, they are going to get out and test the cake before they eat it. Not that that is bad. So what they want now, is not a "Nice Guy" but a fun exciting, entertaining, sexy, and relaxed guy who isn't overly into her, nice guy. The illusion of freedom is kept visible, but the burden of the broken heart is no less painful. The get hurt enough, and loose all self respect and well, now we are seeing girls who have no self respect, and show their breasts for just about any reason to any one, and they don't mind that the guy they are with looks at an another girl or cheats on them, because they do the same. What happens behind closed doors eh? There is nothing wrong with this, it's just how they choose to find their way through life.
Usually, the girls who realize they are tiered of the drama, constant drinking, and repeating of the same thing every weekend, look for a guy who is "different", the stereotyped "Nice Guy" and settling down. Nothing wrong with that either.
The reason it bothers us is because we do all the things they ask, but they don't really voice their desire for adventure, or if they do they put it in words that are only half true or explain it as a one time event. Yes there are exceptions to all this, there always seems to be in any situation.
All we can do, is figure ourselves out and let life bring us close to some one we'll love or give us on heck of a ride.
Personally I think the Reckless, careless and foolish ideals of society have deceived us. We got greedy and tried to reach for the stars, but we all know that to reach a star is to get burned. Now every one wants to have what they want, do what they want, sleep with whom they want, and ignore the consequences. Myself and all others included, if you exempt yourself, you are only foolish yourself. We all have needs, and wants, desires, and dreams. It is to be human. But can we shift our thoughts and not think that to not have something so trivial as a nice dress, or bigger truck, or the latest trendy fashion. When is enough, enough? And where is respect, honor, even love. It seems to me that many call "Lust" love. Yes we need passion but lust is uncontrollable, while love is controlled and responsible. I don't know, maybe I'm just insane, but it looks to me like every one is a sell out, and as long as we all agree on it, no one cares.
This applies to every one, male + female.
hey dude watsup? How's it going man?? Anything new? =P how's life? How's it coming? XDQuote:
Originally Posted by Nestorian
Do you guys believe in the fairy tales that true love will always have a happy ending? =P
I'm better taday, tired but better. My mum moved out from the 2 bed room apartment she, my sis, and I we sharing. Very stressful. Blah.Quote:
Originally Posted by none12345
And I got good news from the government. I get more money, well not more but there are some things I can do to help me get a better grasp on school and getting a job. Finnaly things seem to be looking up. I'm tired of this rock bottom, talk to no on, ignore life entirely crap. I want to start working towards living now.
Recently bin deciding what my dreams are, still not srue. Also, still trying to forgive myself for my ex, but it will come with time.
I believe that life is here, we just have to decide what to do with it. When we do, we better get ready for a lot of bumps along the way, with also a few crashes, they are bound to happen.
So fairy tale love, maybe, I'm sure there are those who are quite in love and happy. They say the best things in life, are free. But they also say, the best things in life are worth waiting for. So you decide. Is there a future Fairy tale women in your life, or no...
I'm still focusing on me so, it's still undecided for me.
I think I have been through too much to believe in fairy tales, as if you can imagine Prince Charming farting, or Cinderella, not giving the Prince his nookie because she has a headache, or on the rag, then yeah fairy tales can come true. But reality says June Cleaver tells Ward, to put the toilet seat down, when he takes a piss. Fairy Tales always give the romantic view, and everyone lives happy ever after, but reality is that everything has a downside to deal with, they just don't tell you what it is. You find out though, when you get your Cinderella (or Prince Charming), that she(he) will have her/his faults, just as you do, and how you deal with it is what's important.Quote:
Originally Posted by none12345
True love is two partners willing to work through the realities of life, together, no matter what you have to deal with. There is no confusion, or indecision about that, between them.
Edited
I do, my girl, and I are are broken up, and I love her to death, and will do aything for her. If you love someone, how can you let it go? It will always be there, no matter what. Love is like a circle, it goes around forever, its not like heart those are meant to be broken.
Not sure I understand what you mean Josh, but what if the one you love, doesn't share your feelings??
I think what he is trying to say is that love never goes away, which is true. I still love everyone that I used to, but I am not in love with them nor do I want to be with them. You will always have that feeling of love for them because they are a part of your life, they shaped in in which no other person could have shaped it. So with that, I agree, we will always love a person but won't always be in love with them.
If you truly love a girl than you ll be willing to let her go so she can be happy also right? I know it would be awesome if that person she's happy with is with you because that way you ll be happy too but sometimes it doesn't work that way I guessQuote:
Originally Posted by joshrach1031
If I needed to let go of my boyfriend, I would wish him the best, be happy for him, and move on. There is nothing less attractive than a girl desperately hanging on to an old flame. I know such a desperate woman... My boyfriend's previous girlfriend has tried to stay in my boyfriends life by giving him "innocent" gifts. Little does she know that the TV she gave him is now in my apartment, and the bottle of wine that was "for their special occasion" was used to toast his new relationship with me.
When relationships end, there needs to be a mourning period when your support system kicks in and helps you through your No Contact stage. I think it is critical to go through this stage, otherwise you'll end up in denial and desperate to get back what you lost.
Josh, Love is like a circle, but can easily be tainted or twisted into other things such as: Lust: when one craves another's attention and affection and is willing to do anything for it. Very dangerous. Jealousy: when one loves another, but the other's love is given to an out some one else. There are more but no need to cover everything eh. What I'm getting at is that even if you love some one, it doesn't always mean you will or should be with them, and it seems that a lot of people think that that's how it works. You find one person to love, and that is all there is; but in reality, there is a big world of people out there and you never know where you'll find love. So it wouldn't seem wise to get hung up on one person, or the Lust, or jealousy, and even hate can be the result. At the same time I'd like you to know I understand what you mean about still loving your ex, though you're not together. Mind you, I'm not sure I'd use the term, “to death”. Because she lives her life, and now you are living yours. There maybe friendship there, but is that the love two people share when they are so connected that they are growing together, or are they growing with others?
Personally I think It's all relative, and subject to ones interpretation, but so is all else… “No matter where you go or what you do, you live your entire life within the confines of your head.” ~Terry Josephson
I will also state that I do not think it healthy for people to believe that Love is about self sacrifice, giving everything up just for that person, and dropping your life for them when ever they ask it of you. That I think would be a part of many complexes, the be perfect, try hard, Nice guy, Hero, etc; but these say that you don't really love yourself or Respect yourself. To just drop everything for her, with out a thought for yourself. “If you don't keep yourself above water how can you expect to hold your friends up?” -Me. (old concept, but I just made the words up. If any one can give me reference to where the concept came from I'd appreciate it.) First and most important we must take care of our needs before we can help others learn how to take care of their needs.
Romefalls19, good point that love never really fades. I think people confuse the idea that love dies with the idea that we simply see, or focus on other things making it appear to be that love is gone. Anger, frustration, hurt, sorrow, fear, suffering, Lust, jealousy, and all that is hard to see through when looking for love. Its like the clouds covering up the sun. It's this bright ball of fire, yet water in a gas like state can block or fade it out. We know it's there, but we can not see it until the rain has fallen. Eh?
Makapuu, I don't really like how you worded that top bit about letting go and moving on, it just seems cold and heartless. I'm sure you didn't mean that though. As for the taking time away from that person, mourning, healing, and denial; it seems like a solid expression of what we often experience.
I've come to ponder the idea that, love is not about proving yourself to some one, dedicating yourself to some one, pleasing some one, making kids/ family, sex/ intimacy, and being willing to do anything for some one. No, I wonder if it's not about, Loving yourself, knowing yourself, forgiving yourself, and feeling all those as well as the above family/ friends/ sex/ intimacy/ etc; for some one who reciprocates the same feelings. Then there is the willingness to grow together. But above all else is the taking of responsibility for yourself and your love upon your own shoulders. So that means if the one you love does not reciprocate the feelings and such then you must accept that, and take your time to deal with that, so you can grow again, unhindered by past regrets and suffering.
Maybe that is kind of obvious, but I wonder why others ignore it and attack others for their own fears. Rather than deal with them. I s'pose I know that but it's usually a wise choice to get confirmation.
May peace and kindness be with you.
Thanks Talaniman. Not very many people seem to like that quality in me, as it's a little too sierious I guess. Maybe I need to en-lighten up? XD haha. Yes, well, uhh... As haggrid might say, "sorry 'bout that." Even I don't get me half the time. Lol.
Oh, which reminds me, Mr. Burns "Oh, and one more thing: [ominously] you must find the jade monkey before the next full moon.
Smithers: Actually sir, we found the jade monkey; it was in your glove compartment.
Burns: And the road maps? And ice scraper?
Smithers: They were in there too, sir.
Burns: Ex-cellent! It's all falling into place."
The episode of the simpsons, "Homer goes to school." Funny stuff. Haha.
Your also a nut, but I say that with much love, and respect.:D
:eek:Haha, thanks. :D:pQuote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
P.S. I s'pose I can let some one else take the 100th post, unless editing counts for that?
haha you got the 100th post =P how's it going nestorian?? How's life? Wutcha been up to these days? =PQuote:
Originally Posted by Nestorian
Funny, mine said I was the 99Th post. Haha. In yo face-book, wait... What? :p What eve.Quote:
Originally Posted by none12345
I'm OK, need to get my brain working again, it's in tired mode.:eek: You mean there is another Mode?! :p Yeah, that's me. I'd explain it as being like caboose off Red Vs Blue, YouTube - RVB - The Best of Caboose Season 4 and 5
I've bin trying to play my guitar. And I'm trying to get a lot of government who ha worked out so they will pay me for being ill, but other than that, I listen to music, read what ever, and try to go to the gym every so often.
So I guess you could say, life is interesting.
How about you None? What's your new story?
Well Nes, I've been holding my ground lately, and I'm stronger now. Im starting to feel like life can be beautiful again if I let it be. Its almost the summer and I don't feel as depressed anymore. Lol. I still miss my ex and I think I still have some sort of feelings for her I'm not sure what they are anymore. Kind of guilt, love, confused, anger, disgust all mixed together but I think I've finally accepted its over now and I'm taking each day at a time =P.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nestorian
I just got back from class. I was talking to this girl that sat next to me and I don't even feel guilty anymore now because I'm not with anyone. Didn't get to know her name oh well I won't see her again because today is the last day of classes but oh well... lol there are other girls out there plus she wasn't my type if you know what I mean =P I've been basically have a lot of time now. I was playing my guitar yesterday lol trying to start up my passion again. When I was with my ex I never got a chance to play it becaucse I always had to keep her compnay. Actually I stopped playing because of her because I never had time but now I do =P. Been playing for 9 years now ever since I was 10 lol.
Im trying to pass some time now and improve myself. I think I'm going to start going to the gym again to work out lol and start eating again because I've lost like 10 pounds because of the break up >_< I feel so skinny now lol and maybe after the exams ill go to the book store and start a novel. School is almost over and I'm going back to mny home town soon. I go to a university away from home and I live on residence if I haven't told you. I actually came here for her... so we can be closer but no point dwelling in that anymore.So yah I'm going home soon can't wait to have mom's cooking again after all the junk food I've been eating here every single day lol. Can't wait to stay up all night playing video games with my sis and can't wait to just go to the bar and have a few drinks with my buddies from back home =P
So yah that's what's new with me Nes lol XD but yah don't get me wrong this aren't exactly better yet, their just starting to get better and I do still miss my ex and occasionally think of what could have been if me and her were together. But the trust is broken now and I can't be with her anymore. But yup lol
OK I believe that true love is worth fighting for because I am fighting for my true love right now... so if any of you want to talk to me because I need someone to talk to him then write me... PLEASE and NONE she isn't worth waiting for trust me I am a girl and I would know! I have done the same thing to a guy that she is doing to you... really she isn't worth waiting for.
I Believe That If U Really L0ve A Special S0me And Think That Y0u T00 C0uld P0ssibly Be Together In The FAR Future Then Fight For It But If The Other Person Isn't Guna Love U Back T0 Us Ful Potential Then Im S0ry But The Best Thing Is T0 Let It G0... Its Just N0t W0rth It If Ur N0t Guna Be L0ved As Much As U Deserv
Hey panda, I'm not quite sure what you're trying to say. You read my story on the other thread? O_O you just said you believe true love is worth fighting for so are you telling me its worth fighting for but than you tell me she's not worth waiting? That kind of contradicts. What do you mea you're a girl and you would know? How? O_O You've done the same thing to a guy? But that puts us in different positions. I am that guy and you were on the other end. What do you mean? Maybe the love I shared with her isn't true love. That's why its not worth fighting for?Quote:
Originally Posted by pandabear13
Hey Panda,Quote:
Originally Posted by pandabear13
Nestorian here, part time jedi, just plain old nut the rest. ;) Haha. Sorry read back in the posts you'll get it.
What do you mean by you are fighting for your true love? We need some information. And why should we talk to your true love? I mean we could but, why are we talking to them and not you? After all it seems to be your life that is being so effected...
So if you just give us more detail about your sistuation, and explian in depth what the problem seems to be. We'd all be more than happy to give "our Two cents". Talaniman is really great with information and what not, I recoment talking to Talaniman and listening very closely too.
May Peace and Kindness be with you.
She is telling you that she knows what the girl is doing and she knows what she it thinking, and that she is playing you. By the sounds of your story. And that she needs some one to talk to her True love because she is not playing him, but "her" true love is a guy and guys don't play those kinds of games, or something along that.Quote:
Originally Posted by none12345
Ok so that is all just a shot in the dark from the details. I hope I'm not tooo far off.;)
Talk to you all later eh, got to go see a movie. I hope it's a gooder. Peace.
Hey... im sorry I realized that I typed that wrong... but if you want to go and read my post and help me out... there were people on there cutting me down but if you don't read the actual one that I typed but reread the one that I have in the comment section and you will understand maybe
I believe in fighting till the end if you love them. If you did everything you could do, that's all that matters. If they respond or not that's their prerogative. I wish I could go back and erase the arguments we had. Unfortunately life does not permit this.
If they love you they will forgive. If they don't , accept it and move on and learn from this. But always fight till the end. Forget your ego, or you might regret it later on in life.
Okay. That's what I believe too. Screw the pride or ego or w.e if you're going to regret it later on in life. What do you mean fight till the end? When is it the end? How do you know it's the end?Quote:
Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi
When your near the end you can feel her slipping away. She will talk different, cold, distant, confused. You got to try to talk some sense into her. Then leave and let her miss you. But never accuse her or blame her for the problems in the relationship. Accept you made mistakes and take the blame.Quote:
Originally Posted by none12345
I've already feel distant when is started NC 2 weeks ago and she is cold and confused. Its not time to break NC to talk some sense into her. She's already picked another guy...Quote:
Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi
I've thought about it, and I believe that you have to:
Let them know how you feel. Even if you think they know that you love them. You might as well say it plain: "I still love you and I still want to be with you, please let us try it over."
Apologize for whatever you think caused you to break up so that you can be sure that they know that you're willing to accept that you made mistakes. Let them know that you're willing to make things right.
If that fails... it's time to let go. You tried your best. There shouldn't be anything left to regret about the end.
Wrong... wrong... and WRONG! First and lastly, the "Apologize" thing is absolutely inaccurate. A LOT of times, when someone breaks up with you, it isn't YOUR fault, so just flat out apologizing for you being yourself and them not being happy with it, is absolute garbage! Relationships are a two way street. Very rarely is it just one person's fault that it ended. Don't lower yourself just because you didn't want something to end.Quote:
Originally Posted by teastalk
KC is right. And by the way I tried all of those and now I'm in NC. APOLOGIZING DOES NOT WORK!! You're just giving them the power and if they take you back you ll always be on their leash. I've learned its time to move on now. Dude trust me I tried everything in the book to get her back but it just doesn't work so I'm in NC now ready to move onQuote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
It depends if you know you did some wrong things, acknowledging them and apologizing for them shows you are sincere and want to work things out, but if you did'nt do anything wrong then you should not apologize. I admit I was being a jerk sometimes with her, she was also wrong in some situations. Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes and admitting our mistakes takes guts and you got to put your pride aside for a moment. If It's always your fault and she left you and you are always to blame, there is a big problem and you got to try to solve it with her.Quote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
Actions speak louder than words. Apologizing for ANYTHING is truly meaningless unless you have the actions to back it up. Relationship problems arrise from a LONG line of things that are going on, so it isn't like a light switch where you can just apologize, correct your actions and be done with it...
I couldn't care less about an apology. I want to know what you are going to do to fix the behavior that warranted the said apology.
The only thing I did wrong was being too clingy, nothing more and I don't feel like I should apologize for that because that's who I am and there is nothing seriously wrong with that and maybe for trying too hard to get her back.Quote:
Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi
You promise change but by that time she won't be willing to gve you a chance for you to show them you really can and so its time to move on and let her go. And I don't think you should change for anyone because that means you're not yourself and there are plenty of people out there who would love to be with you for who you are.Quote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
Then I suggest you stop the being clingy, take a few steps back, let her get tired of the rebound guy, and give her some space and time. If she loves you she will miss you and come back. Keep doing NC. She will wonder what you are doing and if you are seeing other girls. Mine asked me this right away, cause some girls on Facebook wrote that they had a good time with me when we were out at the club. Her friends must have saw that on Facebook and told her. But I told her I am not seeing anyone and my heart is still here with you. I do not know what will happen, but we are going to take it slowly, But like you said earlier, not put all my energy in this and don't have too much hope or I'll get hurt again.Quote:
Originally Posted by none12345
I can see where you are coming from on this.Quote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
I also just wanted to say that some might end up with regrets if they don't try all they can in order to bring the relationship back. Who knows if the ex will say, "I wanted you to try harder, your attempts seemed lackluster."
Then on the other hand, I could also say, "no one wants a girlfriend or boyfriend who makes you try until you're exhausted and are crying tears of blood."
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