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-   -   How long do I have to wait?Is there hope? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=277855)

  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:00 PM
    Sherin333

    How long did you date her?
  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:01 PM
    kctiger

    4 1/2 years. She was the 'love of my life.' YACK!!
  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:02 PM
    MissMax143

    I think no matter how beautiful you are, you were still very insecure in many ways. It is wonderful you are getting help, that’s hard to realize but your doing it BRAVO!! :)
    I think it was not only the petty stuff that turned him off, like Facebook and the post ups I am sure it was your insecurity within yourself too!
    Right now, I think you should concentrate on YOU and fixing your issues. I do not think you and him (or another man) could be happy again, like it was in the beginning until you fix what’s broken.
  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:04 PM
    Sherin333

    Sorry to hear that, but it's get better, so I've been told :)
  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:04 PM
    kctiger

    Right... it does get better!
  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:06 PM
    Sherin333

    With a lot of time, heart ache and crying.I didn't know humans had so many tears. I am happy for this site and I will help others as you all have guided me. Thanks deeply.
  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:08 PM
    kctiger

    Yeah, this site does wonders. It really does wonders when you can start to help others (like yours truly). Good therapy. Good luck!
  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:09 PM
    Sherin333

    Likewise:)
  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:10 PM
    Sherin333
    I'll b back I'm sure.
  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:11 PM
    kctiger

    Well, until then, good night and God bless!
  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:11 PM
    Sherin333
    Xo
  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:24 PM
    Sherin333

    Quick question: I have belongings at house that aren't that important like my clothing, lingerie, my boots. These are material things that can be replaced and I have multiples of. Everything in that house will remind him of me.
  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:26 PM
    kctiger

    Good... let it. But don't use it as an excuse to call him. Clothing and lingerie are not important by the way... DO NOT worry about his thoughts, just worry about what you can control.
  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:27 PM
    Sherin333

    Will do !
  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:32 PM
    Sherin333

    If when I leave to go on my vavcation to come back to see if he called should I call back?
  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:32 PM
    Sherin333
    Don't get mad at me!
  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:33 PM
    kctiger

    All of this is up to you. I can't tell you what to do. If you want to get over him then NEVER contact him again. I know that isn't realistic though, I couldn't do it.
  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:34 PM
    kctiger
    I wouldn't get mad at you. I don't judge people in these situations. I know how hard it is, but just try not to let him control your actions.
  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:38 PM
    Sherin333

    It's not that I don't want to contact him ever again I 'm just afraid to hear what he would say if we did get each other on the phone.
  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:39 PM
    kctiger

    So don't contact him... simple as that.
  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:42 PM
    Sherin333

    But what if he wants to see me or hook up to talk? Which he probably won't but we do't know that. That is where I am compltley ignorant and am so bloody confused with this
  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:43 PM
    Sherin333
    Grrr
  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:44 PM
    kctiger

    I can't offer you anymore advice. Just go with it and be strong. You can do it... bloody? Are you from America or England?
  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:46 PM
    Sherin333

    I am a Torontonian with Irish parents:)
  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:47 PM
    kctiger

    Got to love the Irish. I too have a lot of it in my blood. The good thing is that we always know how to drink after a hard day!
  • Nov 10, 2008, 01:49 PM
    Sherin333

    Yes yes we do. But I find that makes me more emotional so I try to steer clear from the drink, if you know what I mean. But yes, God Bless the Irish!
  • Nov 11, 2008, 08:30 AM
    Sherin333

    Morning, I couldn't sleep at al l last night I woke at 3 and have been tossing and turning since:( I had weird dreams about him that we met and he was so shady and mean to me. I feel like today. Missed a test this morning. Not feeling the hottest.
  • Nov 11, 2008, 08:35 AM
    kctiger

    Morning sunshine!! What you are going through is to be expected. Happened to me too, so don't feel bad. Takes time, like we have said. Also, take Tylenol PM about two hours before you go to bed. It is a non addictive medicine that can help you fall asleep pretty quick. No, it is not bad for you either.
  • Nov 11, 2008, 08:39 AM
    Sherin333

    Everything he said to me that night on the phone is repeating in my head " I can't see myself with you for the rest of my life", " i love myself too much t keep this going', " you are so hard to get through too". Why so cruel, all I did was have insecurity and jealousy issues I never hurt him like that.
  • Nov 11, 2008, 08:45 AM
    kctiger

    Like I said, it is still fresh on your mind and will be there as long as you let it. Get up and do something. Take a long walk, something that will force your mind to focus on something else. Easier said than done, I know.
  • Nov 11, 2008, 08:55 AM
    Sherin333

    I feel so mad and angry at him right now for doing this. If he did call I don't know if I would want to talk, it would be so weird and sucha useless conversation. I'm just venting I know and I know that it is still very fresh but my God,I don't understand why this is happening. I did everything for him and loved him unconditionally and he dumped me! Go figure. I have such animosity towards him, and his sister as close as we were she hasn't emailed me or called to see how I'm doing? She knew too that I didn't want this. I feel sick over this situation and could vomit every time I think of it!!
  • Nov 11, 2008, 08:57 AM
    kctiger

    I believe there are four stages/emotions of a break up: anger, denial, depression and sadness (not really in that order)... wonder which one you are in...
  • Nov 11, 2008, 09:11 AM
    Sherin333

    Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
    I would have to say a teaspoon of denial, a tablespoon of depression, a cup of sadness and room full of anger. Grrrrr


    All jokes aside, I miss him:(
  • Nov 11, 2008, 09:14 AM
    kctiger

    This is my last comment on this thread as it seems bordering on insanity how much I have posted:

    Hope: this isn't just any old word. You can hope for different things. In a break up, you should NEVER hope you get your ex back. That is just up to God, and up to life. What you HOPE for is that you get better. You hope you can heal from this... you hope you can move on... you hope you can be stronger at the end... you hope life isn't really this unfair... you hope the pain goes away... and lastly, you hope to someday be happy.

    That is the hope that matters, and that is the hope that will get you somewhere. Start on this track, and let life take care of the rest.
  • Nov 11, 2008, 09:18 AM
    Sherin333

    :) Thanks
  • Nov 12, 2008, 12:21 PM
    Sherin333

    It's been 3 and a half weeks, with NC and I feel weird. I feel like we are fading from each other. I don't want this to happen.
  • Nov 12, 2008, 12:23 PM
    kctiger

    That is the point of NC. It is emotional detox... If you are an alcoholic and go to detox, you will eventually start to lose the craving. Same thing here.
  • Nov 12, 2008, 12:46 PM
    Sherin333

    This is a forced feeling, I have to force myself to move on and forward without him. He doesn't know what he wants or thinks at this time that he doesn't want me. I know I WANT him, and I WANT us to be together but I have to push all my feelings into this deep dark detox hole and move ahead with my life? That doesn't seem right. I feel like shouldn't shouldn't feel these feelings, but I do because I love him, he doesn't love me, and it was me who got dumped. I understand that the greatest strength comes from the weakest point, but I am forced to move on, I am forced to stop thinking of him, I am forced to push him out of my head and life...
  • Nov 13, 2008, 08:27 PM
    Sherin333

    I am sooooooooooooooo drunk right now and am turning to this site instead of doing something syupid like calling him right now. I miss him, I love him, he doesn't know what he is missing!! SUcker!!
  • Nov 14, 2008, 06:22 AM
    kctiger

    Stay away from the booze if you can... Poor decisions can come from it, but since you didn't contact him and posted here, it seems you are mature enough to handle it. Keep on chugging along. It will get better.

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