It's just so weird that she would do something so immature!! Wasn't expecting that.
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It's just so weird that she would do something so immature!! Wasn't expecting that.
Dude, I gotta say simply this:
She is making a fool out of you.
1. DON'T EVEN THINK OF TALKING TO THAT "NEW CONTACT".
2. Get a new account with a cool new username for friends if you must be on faceBook (with no friends with links to exes to use)
3. If it is her email it is her, right? DELETE her from your contacts. NOW. No questions asked.
OR you have wasted a lot of people's time on here. The girl is a mess and she is playing new guy, old guy, all guys... Time to man-up my man... the intrigue and drama have gone far enough with her.
Again, Ash to the rescue... Convincing as always...Quote:
Originally Posted by Ash123
Will definitely delete her off my account tomorrow.
It's very funny though... Yesterday was honestly the first day she wasn't the first thing on my mind when I woke up and I almost didn't think of her at all during the day (had many stuff to do) It's like the final stage of healing had started... And then BAM!! There she is. It's like that quote from Swingers :
They know to contact you when you are over them... DAMN!! Lol
Just so it is clear... Bam there she is, where? In you head? In your House? Calling you?Quote:
Originally Posted by broken_arro
Stalking me... :D :D lolQuote:
Originally Posted by WhatN3XT
Ahhhhhhhh, I see. Had one of those (stalker) they can be annoying. Even more reason to NC. Good Luck, Sounds like your almost there.Quote:
Originally Posted by broken_arro
Almost reached the top of the healing process... good stuff. Keep it up
Deleted this girl off my Facebook. Have regrets about it, however I know that in the long run it was the best thing for me to do.
If I kept her as a friend, thinking that it possibly was my ex, I would think twice before posting anything on fb, and I would most probably be posting things wanting perhaps to manipulate her. I do not want that at this stage of my healing.
If I would take my ex back ? Certainly not the way she used to be when we were together. If she showed me that she REALLY wanted me in her life (the way I showed her the two months I tried to get her back) and would try hard enough to fix her issues (insecurities e.t.c.), then I would think about it... However it would be her who should initiate proper contact and express her real feelings in order to achieve that, not hiding behind silly mind games.
I think that she is trying to keep some sort of contact with you as a back up plan in case things don't work out with the other guy or in case she ever changes her mind. She wants to keep you as an option.Quote:
Originally Posted by broken_arro
Also, "I would try hard enough to fix her issues"? How is that even possible, fixing someone else's issues. No one could fix her issues but her. That is if she thinks she does have issues...
Just as I had imagined.
I opened up MSN after about a month (appearing offline) and she has changed her away message to "why do we need men for ? we can do it on our own"
She most probably broke up with the guy (or had a fight or whatever), and is now trying to "taste the waters" with me again.
That's why she pulled that fb act last week...
I guess I should still stick to what I've been doing, right ? NC and living my life, having fun... Or should I wait a couple weeks and then contact her (it's her birthday then) and see what comes out of this ? I mean, pulling the fb act last week showed she still has interest in me.
Of course, new women have come into my life (nothing serious though, just messing around), so I won't be hoping or counting the days backwards in order for my ex to contact me or whatever... And I also have in mind she may still reconcile with the other guy (poor fella... no way he can handle her)
No! Do NOT break NC! Why in the world do you think that away message is about you? Or even directed towards you as you haven't been on MSN in a month. You need to stop thinking into everything your ex does. You obviously aren't over her, not even close. You are still so convinced it was your ex doing that FB stuff last week. You aren't doing NC for the right reasons at all and only hindering your recovery
I'm still not over her completely, agree with that, but I am at a point where I honestly don't care if she came back or not. Not sweating it at all... I am not thinking about everything she does, in fact there are days I rarely think of her, however there are people who are now finding out that we broke up and are all over me saying things like "why ? she was so beautiful... you two were good together..." and stuff like that, which keep bringing her back on my mind.Quote:
Originally Posted by Romefalls19
But, trust me, I'm good and, as I said, new people have come into my life, and I'm having a great time. :)
People are still saying that about my ex and myself. The whole perfect for each other and crap like that and I'm living with my present girlfriend. I just say we both went different ways in life and are better off. Me and my ex are actually really good friends now, it's funny how things happen.
I used to be just like you, thinking away messages were directed towards me and stupid little things on myspace and facebook(check my old posts back in January and February)
Just re-read the whole thread...Quote:
Originally Posted by Romefalls19
If it actually wasn't my ex, then I most certainly missed a chance with a very very hot girl... :D :D lol Ah well, I guess many more will come!!
Just re-read this thread once more... (working on weekends does suck and gives you A LOT of free time... lol)
What if that's what she was trying to do pulling the fb act last week and leaving those away messages ? Letting me know that she's through with the other guy, letting me know that she's still interested in me and letting ME decide what to do ? She was never the kind of person to take strong initiatives, let alone approaching me again when she thinks that me not accepting her back is a very possible option ? Too much pride for a girl to be turned down by a guy...Quote:
Originally Posted by N0help4u
Confused again... :confused: :confused: :eek:
It doesn't matter one bit if its her, or someone else, as your not ready for either. Stop thinking around, and round, and focus on something else.
That's it... Are you ready?? I BROKE NC.. And I'm happy about it!! :)
Today is my ex's birthday. We haven't talked for more than two months.
Called her a few hours ago on her cell phone... Once. She didn't answer. Didn't bother me at all. Didn't call her again and went out for coffee.
About half an hour ago, my mobile rang. It was her... I answered. She seemed surprised to hear from me... I wished her happy birthday and she said she didn't expect me to remember it.
We chit-chatted for about 15 minutes, talking about our lives... I sounded extremely cool and relaxed, extremely enjoyable... Laughing and making jokes. (Keep in mind, I have totally put all the needy, clingy attitude behind me). She noticed and told me so. "I wasn't expecting you being so full of energy", she said. "I am surprised. I'm not used to you being like this..." I noticed she had started crying over the phone.. I immediately changed subject (don't want to hear her like that) and asked her about what she did or going to do to celebrate her birthday. NO MENTION OF OUR PAST RELATIONSHIP WHATSOEVER!! NOTHING :):p Never asked her if she is still seeing that other guy. Don't care ! She most probably is, judging by where she told me she hangs out (where he lives). But then again, as I said, I don't care ! :D
I was the one to hung up wishing her the best and for her to be happy. I told her I would be in town in a couple of days and that I would call her in order for us to go for a drink ! She paused when I said that... "Yes, ok", she said reluctantly... Didn't bother me at all and never lost my cool. With the same cool and cheerful tone of voice I used throughout our conversation I said goodbye.. I hung up !
THAT'S IT !
How I feel ? Damn, I would have definitely regretted it if I hadn't wished her on her birthday. It was good hearing her voice again. I don't think I would have called her though if she hadn't pulled all that crazy stuff the past couple moths I was NC.
What am I going to do from now on ? Well, I will call her in a couple days when I'll be in town and ask her out for a drink. If she doesn't want to, I will probably go NC again until she initiates contact. If she agrees, we'll go out and try to make her have a good time.. I won't be hoping for anything to happen between us. As I said, the time I pursued her like crazy have long gone, I am having the time of my life and plan on doing so!! :p:p
That's all folks... To be continued... (?? )
Heh, damn, I needed that!!
Don't be fooled just because your feeling good, that you can handle seeing her as a friend.
Just be honest with yourself, your feelings, and your motives.
I never said I want to be seeing her as a friend ! I can't, I know that... I just take the things the way they come. As I said, I have no hidden intentions or expectations here.. I just felt like wishing her on her birthday and I did so. That's all... ;) What comes from now on.. Well, I'll just wait and see.. I'll just sit back and enjoy the ride ! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
Well buddy, you do want her back and it would be a disaster.
BUT IT'S OK.
Listen, you are a heterosexual male with love still in your heart.
But TRUST ME, she is a mess, and you need to keep going forward, even when you miss her. Breaking NC is human. But try to think of the pain you've already endured.
Peace.
Maybe I still want her back.. Maybe I don't. I honestly don't know... I don't think I do but I am not sure... I am just going to take things they way they come. As for the pain I have already endured... It was actually you and one other guy from another forum who, through your posts, gave me a kick in the butt a few months ago and convinced me to crawl out of the mud I was in (being needy and desperate to get her back... ) Rest assured that my lesson is learned. I will never have to put myself in that position anymore... EVER !Quote:
Originally Posted by Ash123
Its OK to put yourself out there, but only for someone who has your back. Until then don't risk more than u can afford to lose-or you are making a bad investment in your life.
The only thing I can add is that she is too young to be your life partner anyway. U began when she was 18 or so. She needs a few more years to grow up and you need to find a more mature girl.really
Well, I texted her today asking her to go out for a drink. She called me about 20 minutes later, we talked for about 10-15 minutes again... She told me that she has been thinking about us going out since the day I initially told her so (2 days ago). She started crying and told me that, although she wants to see me "VERY VERY MUCH", she think that it would be a setback for her, she would be a mess and start crying in front of everyone and that, although she may be with another guy, she is definitely not over me yet, she thinks that she will actually never be over me and that a part of her heart will always belong to me.
Of course, I know better than to believe the words coming from a crying woman when her actions say otherwise. I told her that I didn't know she still had these feelings for me and thought that she was over me, otherwise I wouldn't have called her. I told her that it may also be difficult for me seeing her but I really wanted to see her and since she also wanted to, there was no reason for it not to happen and that I would do my best not to make the meeting emotionally overwhelming for any of us. I tried to change her mind for a couple minutes (not sounding needy or anything, on the contrary, still keeping my humor and cool-ness), she told me she would get back to me within a few hours if she decided to come...
Well she hasn't called, so I texted her the following (I'm quoting here) : "Seems like you decided not to come. Maybe it's better this way... Reminds me of the time you had told me to come to the baptism on July and I didn't... And then regretted it ;-). Have a nice evening, sweetie, good luck with anything you do in your life and I hope that you will always be happy and smiling... Many many kisses !!!"
And that's it for me... No pain, no setbacks to my healing no nothing... It was something I HAD to do. Now I'm heading out for a drink...
See you around fellas !
Man, you are vulnerable.
Be careful. She is a drama queen that you want to sleep with.
Bad idea.
Nah, I am sure I won't be contacting her... 100 percent sure!! If SHE calls, we'll see... Although I doubt it... But then again... So what??Quote:
Originally Posted by Ash123
Cheers... Just got back... 7 am here!!
Good morning people... And thanks ash (and everyone) for your much valuable help... Really helps and I really appreciate it.
Just woke up... 4 pm here!! :p:p lol Last night was a total blast...
Anyway, I just read through the entire thread AGAIN (:D) and, Ash, it seems like you were always completely accurate on your assumptions about my feelings and process of thought, all the way through. Seems like you have a "gift" "reading" people.. Or maybe it's just experience gained through all these years and all these threads...
After everything that has happened these previous months and after the latest happenings, now that my feelings have cooled off a bit, would you take 10 minutes of your time and use your "gift" in order to post your assumptions on HER way of thinking, her feelings, why she acted this way all these months, why she still cries over us, and, finally, (I don't think I'm actually going to write this :D), the chances of us reconciling in the future (months, years whatever... ) Because, honestly, listening to her crying over the phone and telling me all these things she told me, first of all confused me and also made me think that perhaps it wouldn't be THAT BAD to be with that woman again sometime in the future. (Not that I will wait for her, pursue her or stay pondering about it, of course... ;) )
P.S. : I just remembered that she also told me over the phone that, prior to me calling her last Tuesday on her birthday, she was discussing with her best girl-friend whether I would call her!! I hadn't talked to her or shown any sign of me for more than 2 months, she is with another guy but still discusses whether I would call her or not?? These are the things that confuse me...
Well, she broke NC.
She called me today in the morning and told me that she is really sick and having a terrible headache which wouldn't go away with the usual medicines and asked my opinion on what to do (I'm a doctor).
I told her that it was impossible for me to diagnose her on the phone and that I needed to see her (me or any other doctor for that matter) and examine her in order to know what's wrong. She asked if I had time to do it in the morning, I said no and asked her to come over in the afternoon or for me to go visit her at her house. Well, she told me that she would call me and let me know if things didn't go better, she asked me NOT to call her (I didn't have any intention to, actually), because she might be in trouble (with her boyfriend) and that she will probably go see a doctor near her house if the headache insisted. She thanked me "VERY VERY MUCH" and we hung up. Of course she hasn't called since!
Now I am wondering, what the hell is wrong with her ? There are many doctors out there she could have visited... It sounds to me like a silly excuse to call me... Why ? Or am I over-reacting again ?
BTW, I don't expect her to call me ever again.
ALRIGHT BUDDY!! *hi-5*!!Quote:
Originally Posted by broken_arro
I love how girls use the "I need to talk/see you because (insert reasoning).. but I don't want my new douche boyfriend to know."
Anyways, tell her you're way too busy and you can't do anything... and tell her to go to a hospital or clinic...
Well actually it was me who proposed to see her in order to examine her. All she wanted from me (at least that's what she said) was to ask me if I had any medicine to propose via phone. She didn't actually know I am still in town, she told me she thought I had left...Quote:
Originally Posted by hjpan
Of course she sounded eager to come in the morning but not in the afternoon, cause she thought she would be extremely tired by then (she had to attend a class at her uni)... On the other hand, who the hell goes to his/her classes if a headache is THAT strong ?
Oh well...
Quote:
Originally Posted by broken_arro
Hmmm... tell her that you're busy :D
Nah, she hasn't called and I don't actually intend to contact her...
Just let her be..
Well, she texted me this morning. "I am feeling better today. Just so you don't worry. Kisses."
I replied "I'm happy for you. Take care. Wish you a happy recovery."
Maybe I shouldn't have replied... But anyway, I did it.
And, again, I don't plan on initiating contact.. And I also don't think she'd be contacting me anymore... She run out of excuses to do so... ;)
Suggestions on how to proceed if she ever contacts again ? What the hell is she thinking nayways ? I followed every advice on this forum and it has brought me this far... Now what ?
I don't know what she may be thinking, but I know what you should do if she contacts you again, for whatever reason.
Busy, unavailable, but polite, and keep it brief, and under no circumstance be drawn into a long conversation about the past, or you two together, no matter what she says. Politely have something important to do.
This is no contact, and there is no reason to be rude cruel or gullible or confused.
I hear you, tal. And that's what I did and will be doing. However, what does it accomplish, really ?Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
What does it accomplish?
It slowly removes a wreck from your life.
It gives you a chance to deal with your feelings, and see some reality, and not be confused by the emotions of another.Quote:
what does it accomplish, really ?
Dealing with your issues is better from a perspective of real, and honest, vision, and it leads to better decisions be made on your behalf.
Well, it seems like I am on the right road to healing. I have to admit that after wishing her on her birthday and her contacting me when she was sick, I did wonder for a few days about her intentions.. Or MY intentions for that matter. And my mind DID go back to the first days after the breakup. Nothing compared to the depression I was facing back then, I just started thinking of her and missing her again.
However, today, only 2 days after our last contact, I feel free again, and got back to the stage I was before I contacted her last Thursday ! After only 2 days!!
Yes, I still want her to call me (who doesn't, anyway ?) and the thoughts of reconciliation are always on the back of my mind (they never left actually), but I have absolutely ZERO intentions to contact or chase her or even wait for her... I am living my life to its full extent right now, enjoying being single.
BTW, just got back from the gym... AMAZING what those endorphins can do to your psychology!! :D
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