Another problem is I am on his families cellphone plan so they will be needed contact so I can return it
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Another problem is I am on his families cellphone plan so they will be needed contact so I can return it
Right now you need to concentrate on yourself. Do something nice for yourself, go out to dinner, get a manicure, get your hair done, you know, girl stuff. :)
Sweetie, really, you will feel better one day, you really will. I can't say that enough, because I know it's true. I also know that it doesn't feel like it right now, in fact, you feel like you'll never be happy again. You will, trust us, just give it some time.
The cell phone can be sent through mail, or just drop it off in their mailbox, you don't have to see anyone if you don't want to, in fact, I recommend that you don't see him or his family, it will just make things harder on you.
All of the little issues can be handled in a timely manner. I have a really good idea for you to deal with your hurt (I've been doing this myself)
Get your calendar you can write on. You're goal is October 11th. Circle it. Now, in each day, you should write a few words describing how you feel. Gradually you will see that your feelings have changed and you will feel better. It really does help.
A journal really does help as well, you need to vent your frustration, your pain and sorrows. You've lost someone that you held dear but you have to understand that the same pain is going through the other person's mind as well. They just know how to hide it, and that's what you need to do. Never let the other person see signs of weakness in you, you will only resent yourself later in life when looking back at it.
And don't hate this person, they are giving you a good learning experience, and as much pain and loneliness you may feel, there is someone out there... and they will find you.
But what if he wants to get back with me.. because we have broken up before.. actually a year ago and got back together and everything was OK. I really do see a future with him just maybe not right now
Ough oh...
Quote:
Originally Posted by h0llister
Key word is "NOT RIGHT NOW".
I like to think that people can change, that souls can reconnect at the appropriate times and that sometimes you may find the right person for you, but at the wrong time in your life. My good friend hunter's parents broke up when they were dating a while ago, found each other after 6 years, fell in love again and have been married now for 20+ years.
You're at a hard time right now (as am I... I'm 20 years old) everyone around you in our age groups is going through changes, finding ourselves, who we want to be, etc. Change is not a bad thing at all, it's just a stepping stone to find out what you really want out of life.
Do you want to sit here and be miserable for months on end over this break up, or do you want to make your life the best it can be, maybe find someone that makes your life that much better?
I've stated that you should set the NC rule for 1 month. There are issues in the relationship that need to be worked out, and you can't HONESTLY go back in to a relationship without taking a step back and figuring out for yourself what went wrong, what you like/dislike and if it's even worth it for you.
Patience is golden, and when going through a break up it is the hardest thing for us to deal with. You may listen to our advice, or you may not. We do know what we are talking about (I'm going through the same situation right this moment) and I know that I can be happy with or without this person in my life. You need to know you're a good person, you deserve to be happy, and right now this guy isn't making you happy and instead is making you rather upset?
Take some time for yourself, you're going to be perfectly fine in time.
Thank you, I think a lot has to do with me being lonely and being so close to him because I have moved a lot in the past few years and I haven't been able to get a best friend and I don't really have anyone to talk to
Well you have us to talk to now :)
Well h0llister... that's what we are here for... for you, you can "talk" with us at any time dear.
I know thank you lol he will regret this when he is done school and realize he lost a really good girl.. all the girls he knows just wants him for his money and are super princesses and what not and I'm not like that and he always liked that about me and he will regret it
Good for you , your sounding a bit more positive already :)Quote:
Originally Posted by h0llister
I know webroke up before I know I can do it but it sucks because I do love him a lot I think I will always have feelings for him because he helped me in a very hard time in my life
Like I said, you don't have to hate him. Admire him for who he is as a person, not as your boyfriend.
I'll be your best friend okay? Heck, I'll be everyone's best friend!
Hooray!
Lol thank you I'm 19 by the way
Awesome. My best friends is near my age! Hahaha
Ok I better get out of here while you 2 get to know each other LOL ;)
Where r u from?
Quote:
Originally Posted by h0llister
You know dear... sometimes a person gets so wrapped up in the person that they are with that they cut themselves off from the rest of the world. They make their whole world... THAT person. Yes, I know that when you love someone that they mean a LOT to you but this is an example hon... always keep your friends or make new ones. This helps make you less vulnerable emotionally and you don't find yourself alone.
So, maybe you should now prioritize this... go find some new friends. :) :)
Stringer
I'm from California, born and raised!
California sunshine FTW!
Nice I wish I had a beach I live in ontario canada.. nothing to exciting here
Aside from the fact almost all the waters in the bay area are disgusting and polluted LOL
Oh lol never mind how old are you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by h0llister
I was driving home from work. I'm 20. How you holding up?
My boyfriend just broke up with me last night and I am sooo hurt I didn't fall asleep until 3am because I was crying so much and then I woke up at 7am and cried again and now its 11am everything is so screwed up for me I am sooo hurt, I want to call him to see maybe he regrets breaking up with me. I have a really sharp pain in my chest that still hasn't gone away and I feeel like doing completely nothing I'm so hurt I don't think I've ever been this hurt in my life (from a relationship) I miss him soooooo much, help advice how do I keep my fingers away from the phone.
I understand your feeling, it happens after a break up. Calling him will get you absolutely no where. Read the stickies on the forum and take time to mourn your loss. It will get better over time, just let it out and don't try to hold in your feelings
Like he has been realllly stressed with school and he has a hard time not taking out stress on other people and we had a really good relationship and it came out of no where. Like its not fair to me and I love him so much and I want to be there for him when he's stressed and I'm so hurt I hate this so much and I miss him
I know it's hard, he has been thinking about it for awhile though so it may not be an out of the blue thing for him, just for you as it mostly is for the person who is broken up with
We broke once before (about a year ago) and I was hurt we stayed broken up for about a month and then got back together and this time when we broke up it is hurting soooo much more, like we had so many future plans so much to look forward too now I feel like I have taken 5 steps back in life. All I want is to hold him again ,he still tells me he loves me, how can someone still love someone but put them through all this pain
I wish there was a magic pill for the pain, but there isn't. Crying is nothing to be ashamed of, so let it flow.
You broke up LAST NIGHT and are pining away now about how much you miss him? You haven't even let the "missing him" start? Let's just say you are GOING to miss him, there we can agree.
Meanwhile, your question "how do I keep from calling him?" Let's see.
What is it you want in a boyfriend? You want this guy no matter how he feels or what he thinks or how he treats you? That's what you want? Him... no matter what? Really?
What about someone who craves spending time with you? What about someone who honors and cherishes you and your ideals? Someone who, after dating over a year, is more a fan of you than ever before?
Any of that sound good? It should. It's the POINT of dating.
I know your heart is starting to hurt. It's going to hurt a lot more. You know why? Because the heart is a big fat baby! The heart is a raw, mindless creature that wants what it wants and doesn't care about what is good for us.
So, YOU have to be smart about this whole process. Being in love is fine. But it can't control you. You're mind knows what's good for you. You have dreams of the perfect life and the perfect relationship... dreams in your MIND, not your heart.
To attain that dream, you have to be ready to walk away from failing love. Your heart will scream and pitch a tantrum the whole time... but you still have to do it.
This guy has given you a SECOND chance to get your life back and get back to finding the better love, the one that builds you up and makes your life better. Take this chance. Seize it, make it count.
When you are tempted to reach for the phone, remember, you're about to call the guy who makes you feel as badly as you do right now, as desperate as you do right now. Only call him if you want this desperation in your life forever.
You're smarter than that.
That's true, I miss him because were in long distance and I know now we will never ever see each other again. Its hard to accept not only the loss of the relationship but the loss of him forever
And everything is reminding me of him like everything of his country to his language to his favorite movies on TV gahh its driving me insane
It's hard because essentially it is breaking a habit. Surround yourself with friends and family who will be supportive, keep you occupied and make you laugh. Be Strong!
Thank you!
Ok last night when my boyfriend broke up with me, he was super stressed with school and homework and exams and we got in a fight and he broke up with me. I think it might be because of his school stress. Im not to sure if its for real he wants to break up or because of school stress. (he has problems taking out other problems on people) I really want to call him to know if he truly means it or if its from school and if we should just have a break until things settle down.. I really feel I need to know so I am able to move on or not... what do you guys think?
I think you should leave him alone until he is less stressed out otherwise you might just aggravate the situation...
That's true, I am suffering so much because I don't no if he was serious or not and its killing me
If he was not serious, he'll realize the error of his ways and come back to you. But he'll only figure this out when he is less stressed out. Bugging him when he is stressed out to find out if he was serious might only antagonize him more and make him say more stuff he does not really mean.
That's true, thank you! That sounds excatly like him! Lol
Stop! You've been told not to call or contact him. Read tons of other posts just like yours, pressure the person who broke up with you and it only ends in more heartache because they are still angry and you go and poke the bear with a stick
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