The chinese have a saying similar to this "The lion and the wolf can co-exist until the food supply runs low" I would never advise you to be friends with your ex's girlfriend, just doesn't sound like a good situation. I would cut contact with both of them, it's for the best. And stay away from the bloody cancer of an ex

If you could ever write a letter to the person who hurt you most what would you say?

Been there, done that, got no response... hell, I don't think he cared. I basically told him that he did me wrong and mentioned all the things I did for him and I also let him know how he hurt me and that karma will come back on him. Again... I got NADA! I saw him 6 months later and we spoke but briefly and slightly akward but I felt like I had the upper hand.

Goodbye... and good riddance!!

I wouldn't waste the paper, my physical appearance and happiness speaks louder than any amount of words could ever begin to describe

I agree actually... that letter is good for you to get everything out on paper but in the end the exes do not care. ( most at least)

I have written letters like that, but only for myself, never sent them, it helped.

Spewing venom towards someone, even if they deserve it, only does you an injustice, it doesn't affect them at all, so why bother?

I've written letters, too. Maybe they don't actually get to see him but it feels so good to get it off your chest!

See "letters to our exes."

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...rs+to+our+exes

Its been two months since we last broke up,
nine days since we last had sex,
and six days since i last saw him. ..
...

his new girlfriend, who happens to be a real close friend, assures me that she's not in love with him, and that she is in love with her ex (they had a rocky relationship, and she's just with someone for the sake of not being alone - i'd rather have her date him, than someone else...) she tells me that he just has to realize that he made his mistakes...but just today he wrote me a letter ( i previously wrote one, asking for closure - how do you get that anyways?) saying that he hopes i find happiness , like he has. and then he wrote that he finally found the perfect girl.

i couldnt help but feel a bit hurt by it all.

i couldve sworn that i was a little moved on, but i was okay with the fact that i loved someone else, but i was still happy because of friends/work/etc. but today was just another brick in the big wall that im tryin to climb over -.- so yeah.. i post whenever im sad, and today im just out of it...advice?

You need to just walk away and no contact. He seems to enjoy rubbing how happy he is in your face and you know she is not happy with him. Leave it go, leave him go, find someone you can be happier with

Quote:

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

You need to just walk away and no contact. He seems to enjoy rubbing how happy he is in your face and you know she is not happy with him. Leave it go, leave him go, find someone you can be happier with

---

I agree, the new girlfriend is one of my closest friends (recently) and she says she wants to make us get back together, because all he does it talk about me (reminsicing etc) and today he tried to "advise" me to find someone else, and I told him (truthfully) that I was talking to a guy at work, and things might lead to a relationship, and he wrote "i didnt know you were seeing someone..." well what choice do I have? You have a new girlfriend and your not worth waiting for, of course I'm going to find someone. He didn't write back, but its okay, he texted me saying that he was always there for me. And I can't help but laugh, last week he avoided me, and now he's trying to snoop on my myspace(its private) and texting me all the time.

What do you think?

Its been exactly 3 months since me and my ex broke up.
He called me three or four days ago. I wouldnt have picked up
but i was already sleeping, and i just picked up. he called me complaining
about how his life was so miserable, and that why his girlfriend chose me (as a friend)
than him (as a boyfriend) i felt horrible for him, i trully did pity him. and i told him
calmly that he couldnt blame me simply because i was the ex. his mother called my
father, saying i was harassing him--threatening to kill myself--getting pregnant on purpose--etc--etc. My father is furious, my mother slightly amused (she likes the drama life) and im angry as well. My ex hasnt called me at all, and it was his friends doing.
(she left me 7 text messages when i was at work) his new girlfriend is very angry and she called me to apologize and she broke up with him the very next day.


so...even with this, whos wrong? for me picking up half asleep anyways? the friend texting me (she called my exs mom to begin with) or my ex for being completely off the wall?


and even with all of this? why can't i help but feel sad about it all?
and still somewhat miss him??
--*sigh*--

I think you must still miss him

Missing him is a normal thing, you will always remmeber you ex ans exs, some obvisouvly more than others (example first love... ). I think you feel sad because deep down you care about him and even though you are not with him it s still affects you. Now it doesn't change you in the way that you might maybe want to see him again and talk to him again, doesn't it ?

I would love it if we could talk again, and even be friends, but with all the drama (texting/calling/family involvement)it seems impossible. The only reason I won't talk to him, is because if one of us call/text each other our parents will turn this into a legal battle... (harassment--when that's none of us have never harassed each other)but I really do miss him, and I really do care for him, but I honestly don't know what to do

I started college today, which was pretty awesome, but for some odd reason.. I felt like my ex would pop out of the hallways and try to ruin my life. He's still in high school. For those who have read my previous posts, I didn't have a very mature ex during our break up period and he really did make me miserable for the most part. I called a friend today and she said she ran into my ex and asked about how he was and he said, "i hope __(me)__ doesnt ruin my senior year." my friend asked why, "cuz that thing ruined everything." when I heard that from my friend, my heart crumbled, its been about 8 days since I last talked to my ex, month and a half since I've last seen him.. but I still really hurt... I know it sounds weird but for some reason I feel as if he left a huge scar running down my face(or very noticeable limp), and everyone knows that I'm still hurting, or that I did. I have friends who keep me busy, my new college classes, work, and I've kept NC... but I still feel so robbed, I know that in the end I'm the one who will gain everything, but for now, I feel so empty/defeated. I went to an amusement park today with my mom and sister and cousins, and I was terrified that he would be on the same ride as me (when he was at school -- I got out early --gotta love college) I'm absolutely petrifried to go anywhere. I'm so angry at the thought that I can't go walking without having to do double takes all over the place. I'm so angry at the fact that I can't defend my name when he talks about me to other people... im so angry at the fact that as much as I want to, I just can't let it go... I feel like I have to run away and start fresh as my last resort, but I love my family, and my school and job. I had such a rough past, and I don't want to relive it any longer, can anybody help me??

Hey, "lost"

You spoke to him 8 days ago? That is definitely not NC.

Anyway, these things take time. Now that you are in college you should quickly find a college counselor/social worker/advisor. The college can help you find help. The "roughness" you speak of in your past, needs to be addressed. So, you can embrace your new environment. College... this is the biggest chance of your life... trust me on that. Take advantage of all the great people and things around you...


Hang in there... your ex will fade over time... if if if if you respect NC. You have kind of not done that...

My ex and I have been broken up since June.
Found out about a miscarriage in July.
And we've stopped talking since early August.

My mom is trying to kick me out of the house, but since I give her money, she lets me stay... my ex found out from a person that I work with who shares a class with him. He was desperately asking for my number(I changed it, and never gave it to him). The person gave it to him.

He asked if there was anything that he could do, bla bla.
But I just told him a pack of cigs would saffice, and didn't write anything else.
Next month will be 4 years since his stepfather passed away (car accident).

He claims that I'm the only one he could ever talk to about it.
I hear from our teachers(that are like parents to us) that he hasn't slept or ate well in weeks, (he dreads for October 29th to come). I feel bad for him. After all the drama, I still care and wonder if he'll ever be okay.

We don't text each other, but when it happens, its just a awkward-but polite-and quick conversation. I know he wants to say more, because he always puts a lot of "..." after every text. Sometimes I just don't want to bother anymore, but I know he's reaching out to me for help. A shoulder to cry on.

What should I do?
(I still care for him very much, but when it comes to being in another relationship... that ship has sailed... )


Edit-- my mother situation has gotten better, but I just wanted to add that as to why my ex has contacted me.

While your ex could be going through some serious torment I would still say that you are number one... Sounds selfish I know but especially after my break-up that's how I have come to look at things.

It all depends really, how do you think it will affect you to help him through this time? If you can see it being detrimental to your own happiness and well being than I would suggest you not do it. He will be OK and life will go on for him.

However, if you do think you can handle being there for him, then I say why not. If it won't hurt you than why not do something to help someone out who you (like you said) still care about deeply.

So that's my advice... if you can't handle it don't (you are number one) but if you can than I say go for it!

After reading your other threads it best to stay away from him. You can say a few words with him but you very need to watch yourself and keep your feelings in check because your old feelings might get mix in while your helping him out but I think it good you want to be there for him because no one likes to see a person down. Btw, sorry about your miscarriage.

I think its time to focus on you, and leave everything else alone. I have read your other threads, and can't see how you go from here

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...me-259523.html,

To this post.

Hey guys! Its been a while! Let me fill you in!

• got my license! finally!
  working everyday
  bootcamp jan12
  saw my ex =/
  my boyfriend is coming home in december

Its been pretty hetic, but I love it.
With my ex, we talked and I kind of cried a bit because I still had so many feelings left over. He's never going to grow up, and unfortunately, when he does, ill be half way across the world... or married to my boyfriend...

Don't get me wrong I love my boyfriend, and these are true feelings...
But I'm still caught up on my ex. Its only been four months, but its time to move on don't you think? We've been doing NC since we saw each other (we saw each other on the 1st.) and he texted me on the 18th saying "for what its worth, it was worth all the while." I asked him what he was talking about and he wrote "its a song, i thought about you."
And that was it. We stopped talking again.

He drives me crazy, because he knows I'm with my boyfriend, and he flaunts his girlfriends around, why text me things like that?
This isn't the kind of stuff that I need to have before I leave for bootcamp.. >.<

First I don't think you are being entirely fair to your current boyfriend if you still have feelings left for the ex.

Second, can't you block phone numbers to receive texts from him. If you allow him to keep in contact with you then you are only going to prolong the emotional issues.

I would go as far as changing your phone number... it pretty much needs to be like you are erasing him from your life, and vice versa.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kctiger

I would go as far as changing your phone number...it pretty much needs to be like you are erasing him from your life, and vice versa.

---

I did change my number, but a mutul friend of ours gave it to him. =/

For the shake of your current BF stop and prevent further communication from your ex. Be careful with your feelings.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by chuff

First I don't think you are being entirely fair to your current boyfriend if you still have feelings left for the ex.

Second, can't you block phone numbers to receive texts from him. If you allow him to keep in contact with you then you are only going to prolong the emotional issues.

---

My current boyfriend knows about our long past, and understands that. He knows I won't leave him for anyone else. I love my boyfriend.

I don't really think your current BF is the most important person in this situation right now... YOU are. You have got to find some way of deleting him from your life! I know you have had a long past and I am more than versed on what boot camp will do (you will not have time to think of anything then). For your own good, and for your own development you need to literally pretend like he is dead for now. I know it sounds harsh and I don't mean to be that way, but it is the only way to emotionally get over someone. Compare it to drug adicts going through detox. Four months is not a long time either. It takes A LONG time to get rid of the emotional baggage of a long and loving relationship. You NEVER want to try and commit to something when there are some leftover feelings still lingering.

Haven't we learned, that talking to exes for whatever reason, brings confusion, and question we can't answer?

Get real with the NC, and given your new found happiness, hang up on him, when he calls since you can't just tell him leave you alone, and make it stick!

Its about what you do, not what he does.

I don't think you love your boyfriend. I'll be the first one to say it and you may disagree, but if you did you wouldn't be struggling with these feelings about your ex. I love my fiancée, very much so, and I still talk to my ex. She texts me every once in awhile(once a week?) and never do I have to post it on here because I have fully healed from that heartbreak, I don't think you have and until you have I can't see you giving your all to anyone else and that isn't fair.

Change your number, be more careful who you give your number to and go NC, think about your boyfriends feelings.