I think you need to work on your own issues, before you try to get with someone else. It would help you a lot.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

I think you need to work on your own issues, before you try to get with someone else. It would help you a lot.

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Don't you think its strange that she agreed you should only kiss the one person you are seeing someone yet she went and done it though?

A lot of people see "seeing someone" as the same as a relationship

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Originally Posted by Tyne26

Dont you think its strange that she agreed you should only kiss the one person you are seeing someone yet she went and done it though?

A lot of people see "seeing someone" as the same as a relationship

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I'm not as insecure, as you are by any means, and I think you expect too much, to soon ,to be a healthy relationship. Your ability to make a mountain from a mole hill, and hold on to it, needs to be addressed, and if a professional can help do so.

Tyne, you ever look back at the 83 posts (now 84) and think, hm... so many different people are telling me to let it go. I WONDER if that's the right thing to do...

No? OK.

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Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

tyne, you ever look back at the 83 posts (now 84) and think, hm...so many different people are telling me to let it go. i WONDER if that's the right thing to do...

no? ok.

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Im not mad believe it or not lol... I have read the posts... But does anyone understand that she is against going with others when you are "seeing someone" which is making me think how could this have happned then and all I can think is she liked this dude more than me for it to happen... is it in any way believable that cause of the way guys have left her for another girl in the past that this could have had some kind of influence??

I am strictly against drunk driving. I've done it.

I am strictly against smoking. I've done it.

People do things they don't believe in for the spirit (or passion) of the moment. It happens.

She may/may not have liked you more for it. You really can't confirm that by her actions. Married couples cheat on each other on their business trips just to get some @ss, not because they like their fling better than their spouses.

At this point, you're questioning HER self esteem? You're making a big deal out of nothing man. A simple accident. Let it go.

Fix this mess up before you get into another relationship.

One thing for sure, since you have broken it off, you'll never really know what was on her mind.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

One thing for sure, since you have broken it off, you'll never really know what was on her mind.

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Tal what do you mean?? Are you saying she could have been lying to me??

No... we're saying that because you made such a big fuss about it and broke it off... you'll never get to know the truth about anything you're assuming.

Had you handled it properly, then you probably would have had answers to most of your "assumptions"

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Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

no...we're saying that because you made such a big fuss about it and broke it off...you'll never get to know the truth about anything you're assuming.

had you handled it properly, then you probably would have had answers to most of your "assumptions"

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But I asked her why it happened... I don't understand how staying with her would have made me understand why that happened...

It's as if everyone thinks I'm mad... I honestly wouldn't have battered an eyelid about this if we hadn't agreed to be seeing each other, OK boyfriend/girlfriend was not mentioned but its practically the same thing... She agreed you shouldn't kiss anyone else... If I satyed with her it couldn't be spoke about again so how can I get the answers to my assumptions??

I have to add we we agreed to officially see each other, hence anyone that asked her who she was seeing she said MY NAME, doesn't that show commitment to me only... Ok we didn't say we are boyfriend/girlfriend but it still felt that way

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Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

can't give tal a greenie.

if you two weren't exclusive, anything's fair game. is it tactful...? not really, but isn't that the whole idea of "dating"?

to describe it in a raw sense, dating's like trying on clothes. you pick out 3 - 4 things you want to try out, then you try them out...and then you pick the one you like the most.

you can be down about it, no doubt. I'd be down if a girl I really liked kissed another dude, but that's no reason to get mad about it and blurt it out to her. forget what your girl did before you two were official and let it go.

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Just looking back here but "official" do you mean ofically boyfriend/girlfriend??

I took "seeing someone" as officall

What is everyone's veiws on these two status??

Seeing some one is a prelude to see if we can date exclusively, and that takes getting to know someone through interactions, it's also supposed to be fun while you get to know them and after a while, if things go great, you enter into exclusive dating or going together. Just my take on it. Now a days, people seem to go straight to exclusive after a few dates, and deal with getting to know someone later. I think that takes all the motivation for having fun, and getting comfortable, out of the equation, and puts rules and guidelines in its place. Just me mind you. Unless you have agreed to be exclusive, I feel you can date whomever you want, and should. Why rush in with the rules and regulations from the beginning? It takes a lot of talk, and give and take, to make those rules clear and fair.What could the hurry be?

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Seeing some one is a prelude to see if we can date exclusively, and that takes getting to know someone thru interactions, it's also supposed to be fun while you get to know them and after a while, if things go great, you enter into exclusive dating or going together. Just my take on it. Now a days, people seem to go straight to exclusive after a few dates, and deal with getting to know someone later. I think that takes all the motivation for having fun, and getting comfortable, out of the equation, and puts rules and guidelines in its place. Just me mind you. Unless you have agreed to be exclusive, I feel you can date whomever you want, and should. Why rush in with the rules and regulations from the beginning? It takes a lot of talk, and give and take, to make those rules clear and fair.What could the hurry be?

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I agree, I never would have went straight into boyfriend/girlfriend status hence why we agreed to officially start seeing each other... she said she would never have dated anyone else when seeing me as committed to seeing me... So this kiss that has happened has made me question her loyalty to "seeing someone"... She has used the reason that everyone else she has known has approached it that way and that every guy she has been "seeing" (not boyfriend /girlfriend) has went with another girl... Can you relate to her thinking this way or is this a way to make me feel less hurt and her past had no influence and it was purely attraction to this other guy??

I sent the below response to a relationship advice site and he has came back with this response

My question - So what your saying is she is trying to get away with it but in fact liked this guy??

Answer - No what I am saying is this girl has a different set of values. Values that let her kiss people she has just met, values which allow her to lie to some one she claims to want to be with, and values which allow her to take comfort in controlling others to suit her own vanity.
No one gets away with anything. If you have the same value system; then you will easily get enjoyment out of a relationship with her. If you are looking for something more endearing; then look else were.

My question -She said because every guy in the past has went with other girls this has made her not trust guys and be very weary... isnt this understandable if her self esteem has been damaged?

Answer - Has yourself esteem be damaged; you want to be her boy friend not her psychologist. Look if she is not healthy enough to be a real women then she is not ready for a real man like you. Hmm all I am saying is. If you want to explore a relationship with her go for it, but know that this girl is full of . Sorry If I seemed out of line, but please explore this as deeply as you would like, just be honest with yourself.

PLEASE NOTE I DID MENTION WE WERE SEEING EACH OTHER BUT NOT BOYFREIND/GIRLFRIEND... I FELT THE COMMENT ABOUT "THIS GIRL IS FULL FO SH*T" CONCERNING... DOES ANYONE AGREE WITH THIS OR DOES THIS SEEM HARSH?? DOES IT LOOK LIKE SHE IS LYING TO ME OR IS SHE JUST TRYING TO BE AS HONEST AS SHE CAN??