She called.
Feel good about that.
You have flipped the script on her.

Hang tough. It's already getting better... She is so loud it's a wonder she called - I figured she'd just yelllllll :-)

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I went on a date and made sure she would know about it.

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That makes you as cruel and immature as she is, stay away from the game playing, as it will come back and bite you in the butt!

So she is talking to my best friend today. Someone that she barely knows saying how she wishes she was 25 (she is 22)so she would be ready to be in a relationship and how she really wants to be, but she is too picky about what she wants a guy to be and she annoys herself with it a lot. I think this is good that she is finally thinking about this..

This comes the day after she called me for the first time in 2 weeks

Maybe but the truth is that she's not mature enough for a relationship so it doesn't matter. I also don't think 25 is a magic age. She needs to grow up and once that happens she will be ready

She is talking more with my friend and telling him she thinks it is immature of me not to talk to her anymore and that she thinks I'm stupid for telling her I would continue to be her close friend after the initial break up if I was not going to do it. She told him I remind her of a 14 year old girl because I've cut off all contact!! This NC thing isn't working! She is hating me more. Haha.

If you DON'T MIND talking... Do it.

NC is to bring you back to life.
If you don't need it, then don't do it.

If you are hurting and annoyed by her, put her in the NC freeze, and assume her complaining is just to get your attention....

PS - It's working!!

Chill and focus on other people or other things if possible...

Is it possible she is feeding my friend this knowing I will eat it up and talk to her again? Because she is so open with him right now, and she is not this open about relationships ever

I think I'm in love with the sex right now because it was so amazing and not the girl... maybe not though. I don't know.

Yes and yes.

She is playing you.
You are in love with the sex...
And I don't think she is CAPABLE of loving right now - so beware.
She needs a player to play her game and teach her some humility (ugh) and fortunately that is not you.

She texted me... "Just want to see how you're doing..." Is this normal behavior from someone? I want to respond, is NC still advisable, she seems to have gotten a second wind int rying to contact me.

This is when NC is even more important. Why are you giving into what she wants which is to just play some stupid game with you. She is frustrated that you aren't giving her what she wants so now she is going to keep ramming at you until you give in.

Yes, if she persist tell her leave you alone this is what you wanted. Us tp be apart. Don't worry if you think she won't call back. Because if she truly loves you she will be back.

Ok, I think I will continue with NC for a little while longer, this has been 3 days in a row of her trying to contact me which is the most by far since the first few days of NC. If it continues for a few days I think I will tell her exactly what you said SAB123... any thoughts ash or glinda on SAB's comment of telling her "this is what you wanted, us to be apart, so leave me alone" type of thing?

I think that's pretty good advice. The only thing I would add is it may send her into a spin of wanting to talk to you even more. But at that point you have said your piece and she's an adult she's made her bed she has to lie in it.

Or playing games, will blow up in your face.

Most guys your age don't use real NC so she is probably like... What the H--?

If she calls sometime - and you are in the mood to deal with her - tell her you have moved on.
And "If she is a friend, she will let you.....And one day you can try being friends if she
leaves you alone..."

Thata oughta buy you some time... If she still calls, take NO MORE of them.
And let's hope this girl duzn't take this thread "Stalker"

PS - CONGRATS another NC Winner!

Change your number and email account... No more calls or emails from her... IF you you truly want to be rid of her...

What is it usually older people who do real NC?. I've already decided I'm not ready to take her calls, I still have too much anger for her. We will just fight, and I know that's what she is looking to do probably. Just a week ago the girl IM'd me:

"you're so annoying!!
If you are going to continue to hate me, tell me and I will stop talking to you.
......ok I'll take that as my cue, bye!"

And now it's a week later and she is still trying to talk to me... wierd

Ash, what do you mean, doesn't take this thread "stalker"?

You haven't done No Contact, you just haven't talked as much as usual. You still have intense feelings and a lot of anger in you because of her. Ask yourself why your even taking her calls and responding? Could it be your still hoping she acts better and you get back with her? No Contact would stop all that confusion and game playing but you first must make up your mind to move on. When you do you will not respond to her calls.

You sound obsessed. BREATHE. Cut communication... Go do something else...

I am not sure how to calm her down other than that...

I just meant she was acting stalker-ish... let her calm down...

One day you may have a calm conversation... not today

Talinman, I have done real no contact. I have not said one word to her since the end of July. I am not taking her calls, and have not responded once. The only response I have is what I post here.

I work all day long now that my summer break is over, and it definitely helps me to move on. I WAS obsessed, definitely not anymore.

Mate I'm going through the same thing be strong and chill with your buddys, they'll take your mind of her, or get a Samsung and block her number.

So she is still continuing to call me twice each night around bed time. It was every night this week besides one. The good news is, and you are probably all thankful you won't have to read about this anymore, I'm over it almost completely. It has almost been 30 days no contact and I do not want her back. I think a major part of why this is is due to my job picking back up and it is really busy times, as well as exciting, and my friends have been around a lot. So yeah, Ash, Glinda, and everyone else you were all so right, and I thank you greatly to bringing me to happiness. I feel like a stronger person now, and in fact realize I am happy being single. :)

If you think things can work out and you can stay together then don't ignore her calls but if you don't think things can be worked out then its best if you ignore them. And it may take a lot of time but after a while you may realize she wasn't that great anyway and you can do better and find someone who loves you and not their ex

So we had this pic of us just barely kissing up on Facebook. She said she liked it and would never take it down. It's down, and I'm mad. Because that's another lie. It took her a while to take it down. But it is finally down. I guess I can't be too mad because I took mine down a month ago. But it still ticks me off. Does it show that she had feelings for me this past month and by ignoring her I messed up and now she's lost those feelings?

She really has said to me tons of times "I won't take it down because I like it too much." She even has one framed on her dresser that she said she would keep.

Uuuuuugggggghhhhhhhh, I was doing so good too until my friend told me this!!

22 isn't too young to commit in my eyes. If you talk to her you should tell her to stop playing games because it's immature.. nobody needs that.

Dude. You are moving on so is she. Why are you shocked? Do you want her to be in her room, sitting in the dark, inside her closet, clutching that picture to her chest sobbing uncontrollable and shaking her fists at the heavens screaming WHY GOD WHY?

Or do you want her to move on and be happy just like what you are doing?

Coming from a woman. Id probably ignore her still too. Your own personal happiness comes first. And if you want to try out your options and see what else is out there than do it. Whether the things she said were true or not its never nice to say those things to the person you care about, under any circumstances. And if she continues to call I'd consider getting my number changed, just until you're ready to talk things over without anymore mean things beign said.

So we started talking again, I've kept it sporatic and have not had a long conversation with her. I'm over it for the most part. But she said to come visit. I am driving through tomorrow and I am "staying on her couch". Will I really? I find it weird she wanted me to stay the night when we have barely talked since the 40 days of space... I am going to act cool not jealous and be friednly and nice, but should I make a move if the opportunity presents itself?

You will likely be offered sex... because you have been unavailable.

Afterwards you may wonder if things have changed... they have not.

If you can accept that, glove up and rock on.

If you want to keep your pride and have her keep wondering what she did that was so bad... Skip the visit all together.
You are repeating old habits and the result will be the same. As long as you know that, enjoy "the couch" he he.

She is crazy if you asked me and a "manizer" as I like to say for any woman who will take as much as she can from a man and them leave him with nothing. Happened to me and I will never talk to her again. If she really is that obsessed with you, let her keep calling and if and when you find another woman,she'll find out and eventually give up(hopefully). But if you want her in the future and you ignore her now, it will make that relationship unhealthy to say the least. Ehhh but it all comes down to what you think is right. I'd say to h*ll with her and move on. She used you... as much as I loved mine, I have to learn that she is just there to break my heart over and over.

I understand that we cannot be together. Not now, and probably not ever. I loved the sex, and hope to god we can do it again, haha.

In the far away future I could see myself with this girl, but at this time I've come to a realization during the NC that I don't want to be with her as much as she does not want to be with me...


I don't think I'm repeating old habits because I am acting completely different towards her. I bettered myself and see her for who she has become and treat her differently. I won't play the fool in her game anymore, if anything she will play the fool in my game.

So after the visit... She asked me to go on a date with her, I took her to dinner where she told me she was single. Invited me into her bed... I let nothing happen though. I thought we were good. But then I had a few too many drinks the next night and so did she. We fought on the phone and she told me she is basically still dating this jackass from before and she has no feelings for me..!

I told her she isn't worth it and to kick rocks. Is that normal behavior for a woman to do in this situation?? It's almost bipolar to me. I'm back to NC, I should be right? This time I'm not going to feel sorry for ignoring her and will not break it until I'm healed and have a new girlfriend that makes feels right in every way.

Why would you not see the alcohol, and you two don't mix?? To look for reasons for a change in behavior, that the first place to look. For you both.

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Originally Posted by Ash123

you will likely be offered sex.....because you have been unavailable.

afterwards you may wonder if things have changed....they have not.

if you can accept that, glove up and rock on.

if you want to keep your pride and have her keep wondering what she did that was so bad....Skip the visit all together.
you are repeating old habits and the result will be the same. as long as you know that, enjoy "the couch" he he.

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Ok, I don't normally quote...MYSELF....but, if there was any remainng doubt that your situation can be seen here very clearly - consider that this was written a week prior to seeing her. And trust the process

Anyway, dude. Take a deep breath and look in the mirror and say one thing: IT'S OVER.

Then, suffer sexual withdrawl symptoms for a several weeks and pangs of regret and anger and sadness = and then one day you will wake up and think - "what was i thinking?"

UPGRADE man... get your life together - do not be a number... a statistic. Get a girl who is going places - besides a mental institution. Or you will look back in 10 years and wonder why you are working on an hourly wage with all your dreams lost. Sounds dramatic? It happens every day when people don't push themselves to go higher.

Peace. And good luck...

So a week after I told her to kick rocks she called me. The best part is, I know she is at homecoming this weekend. She calls at 9:30 on a Saturday night. her guy is in Boston. She hasn't called and all of a sudden. The best part is, I didn't even recognize the number at first because I had deleted her name from the phonebook. I don't even hate her anymore, I just think she's insane. AND an idiot for still calling after our falling out and me telling her to get lost last weekend... is her problem to still be calling?

Yes its her problem, not yours.

All right so some of you may remember me. I broke up with a very serious relationship in July and it was a very uncertain breakup. The girl moved on quickly and is still "seeing" this guy, she refuses they are bf/gf but more friends with benefits... whatever, not the point. I cut contact for 6 weeks and then started talking to her in little bits. It has gotten to the point again that she calls every day like when we were dating, but I force the convo's to be shorter and refuse to pick up sometimes, so we talk on my terms.

I have dated a few other girls and tried moving on, but I can't find anyone that compares. I am not going to give up though. So today she says to me all of my friends are still home for Christmas, you should come visit me "John Doe" is not here. So I say "maybe, ehhh, I don't think so I'll see you in a few weeks." I will be out there on business a few times within a month and we will be getting together. Then later in the day she says to me, come out to visit with a friend, or come Sunday to meet "John Doe". I told her I wouldn't want to meet him unless they were in love and getting married and brought up a conversation we had when we were dating about meeting future bf's/gf's and she realized that she would not want to meet a new girlfriend of mine.

Anyway, I feel like I am falling back into old habits from a few months ago when I really was doing so well. She is just such an amazing girl and I would want to date her again if the opportunity presented itself in the distant future (5 years from now, but now we are 4 hours apart). I take her calling me every day as her wanting to be with me, at least a little bit. I also take her non-committed relationship as a way to have a sexual relationship but not have a commitment because she is not ready for one after us.

Am I going insane? Does any of this make sense? Do you think she is showing signs of wanting me still? Any tips on what to do with her to preserve her feelings for me if I want to have a possible relationship in the future?

I'm insane, haha.

If you have a bad stomach and are confused, then she is just the wrong girl. It is like, she has your number and she is doing a dance on you. My own preference would be No Contact, period. You get some semblance of self-respect and dignity, and begin the process of getting over someone who is hurting you.

You screwed up, when you broke NO CONTACT, and started to talk to her again. Get back on the path and start over, that simple. NO she ain't comin' back, forget it.