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Originally Posted by jolienoire
Cute GIF...
Im feeling a little down today.. little lonely for some reason... :(
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Originally Posted by chris28
Well if you ever up for chatting IM ME, later or something.. I don't mind...
http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u...le_2007/36.gifQuote:
Originally Posted by chris28
Like it Jolie!Quote:
Originally Posted by jolienoire
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Originally Posted by friend4u178
I thought it was cute, Hope I got a smile out of you!
You certainly did , smiling as we speak :-)Quote:
Originally Posted by jolienoire
:)
Where did you get it from?Quote:
Originally Posted by jolienoire
Quote:
Originally Posted by friend4u178
If I tell you then I will have to kill you lol..
Si je vous this alors j'aurai ŕ vous tuer.. lol
http://i155.photobucket.com/albums/s...y/breakup2.jpg
Just kidding I got it from photobucket.com
[QUOTE=jolienoire]If I tell you then I will have to kill you lol..
LOL :-) Thanks!
[QUOTE=friend4u178]Quote:
Originally Posted by jolienoire
So how have you been since your breakup? Are you in a new relationship? Just curious I am bored.
I'm fine thanks , not in anything new at the moment though. Have you written a post on yours? Might have to come over there and have a chat rather than hijacking Chris's post here. Sorry Chris!Quote:
Originally Posted by jolienoire
Yes that's right! Get your own room! Lol. Nah us lot have got a pretty good understanding going on at the minute. It's really helping me, you guys are great. As the old saying goes, "All for one and one for all!"
Please lets all talk it up...
Thank god yesterday is over.. Last night a old buddy told me he was at a club with my ex and witnessed her kissed a guy. OK so I no its over and its now 7 weeks but still it bothered me a lot . I wanted to call her and yell but then I was like how, why? Were not dating. So yes the nights over I feel better but it killed me for hours :(
I need to find a nice girl to hang with ughhhh
Your still not over her are you? Be honest, if she came running back today you would jump for joy at the fact and you'd have her back. I'll be honest, that's how I feel at the moment. The only difference is, my ex doesn't really have any close friends to go out on a night with or go to clubs, only the odd night out with uni folks. So I'm really confused in what she enjoys doing? I'm into week 4...
Chris, you hit it on the head I'm definitely not totally over her. I will tell you one thing she has a million friends gos clubbing every week 2 times a week and I do miss her. Im okie but I did get very upset that she's moving on . I think I need a date lol
A date for me would just feel like a rebound, it would for you too. It'd probably be over in a flash. It definitely is worth trying to meet new girls though. That's the hard part for me. My confidence is at zero.
After all this my confidence is very low also... plus I've been in relationships for like 12 years not str8t but maybee a year off here and there but for the most part so its going to be weird jumping back in. The newness is allways fun but its still weird.
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Originally Posted by chris28
Well being a woman I must say that the clubbing thing will get tired, she needs to be fulfilled but in the wrong way.. Seems to me she is crying out for attention... Don't be jealous because the guys you meet in a club or never the ones you want to establish a relationship with.. All this clubbing just says she is not happy.. Getting drunk and meeting strangers is her way of coping although she may have broke up with you she might get lonely but knows that she doesn't want to go back to you... because she thinks she is missing out on something, But one day when she is not partying and she actually sits and think with a clear mind she will think about what has happened... That's what I think when I got divorced I was the same way.. the only difference is that I didn't hook up with anyone I met.. But after the going out got bored I was ready to settle down and date again... I GOT IT OUT OF MY SYSTEM...
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Originally Posted by chris28
Basically she is replacing the GAP
Replacing the time you normally spend with your ex doing something conducive to your happiness and fulfillment. The objective here is to regain a sense of purpose in something new.
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Originally Posted by jolienoire
Yea your right I think that's were the bitterness will come in a bit for me if it happens sooner then later and I find out. I no I shouldn't be putting this much thought into it. But if she starts settling down with some after all this and stops the clubbing and all it would make me feel even worse like what was wrong with me. I rather not know anything about her or what she's doing. It makes it easier. I am going to hang with someone I met 2morow but I really don't know what I want if anything at all I guess I'm just totally confused... Im looking for the companionship I had but I don't want to put work into it cause I'm not into anything serious yet, and of course I don't want a rebound so what's the answer if I'm not ready to day but want that feeling?
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Originally Posted by chris28
The best advice I can give for that situation is don't contemplate on "will you ever love again" But focus on the NOW. Let things happen naturally, don't say "I Can't because my heart was broken" Just let things flow but take your time. If the bond is there don't ruin it, but don't look so hard... Just whatever you get into establish and let the person now From the start about your feelings.. If she is understanding she will be willing to accept, and will take things slow.. Don't feel pressured into jumping into something if you meet a women who wants a relationship from the start... At least, if you tell her upfront this will save you and her a lot of heartache... Let it go and let it flow..
I hate to say this but even if your EX was to run back with open arms you may not even want her especially knowing she was kissing other guys and Who knows what else... You will feel foolished that you waisted time waiting, and missed out on what is happening in life now.. Even if she runs back you realize it would never be the same... You will resent her for making you go through such a horrible stage of waiting and wishing..
How would you react Jolie or anyone else if your ex told you that they finished the relationship because they weren't happy over the last week or so. I found it really harsh and unfair that my ex couldn't sit down and talk to me about it. Is this a girl thing? She said she was scared too say anything, she asked me to give me some space (on a friday) but I was so confused and the next day (saturday) I rang asking what's happened and she just come out with I don't want to be in a relationship anymore.
Does time really work?
Sorry for going on about what happened with me in Chris's thread, but it just feels like we are in a similar position, with how we feel and what we are dealing with. Oh and we're both called chris!! Must be a curse!
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Originally Posted by chris08
I don't know maybe that's GIRL THING I am a WOMAN I communicate I would have said something to you about it, and see if you changed and try to make it work Then if it was not repairable then maybe I would have requested space.. It is unfair that she couldn't sit down and talk to you at the first time she was unhappy. But to be honest this just don't happen over a few weeks, you just don't say today I don't love you anymore.. Maybe it was dying out over some time.. I don't wake up and say you know yesterday I had a bad relationship and today I WILL BREAK UP.. You may have seen prewarning signs. And your intuition volume may have been turned up prior to this break up but you ignored them.. Of course we ignore them because we think People really love us and we take the relationship for granted and sometimes just brush it off.. But then when we here those words "I need my space" we freak out... I think this is the best thing that could have happened to you.. You will come out so STRONG, trust me.. Because you were true to her and yourself, and you were willing to do any and everything to repair your relationship.. You can only be the BEST person you can Be and if you are giving your all and she is giving nothing HOW CAN THIS WORK? It can't.. there needs to be some balance.. I have some tips from this site maybe this will help you.. COPE
1. Take her off that pedestal
Don't idolize her and build her up into something great. She is nothing of the sort. So don't gaze lovingly at pictures of her. Don't jump to answer her e-mail or phone calls. And definitely don't go out of your way for her. She no longer deserves preferential treatment.
2. Get closure...
It's essential to definitively end any hopes of reconciliation between the two of you. And if you can't get that into your head, she owes you the courtesy of making it crystal clear. She should tell you: 'I never loved you. I don't love you now. We'll never get back together.' After some prodding, she'll probably do it, just to get rid of you. It provides what therapists call 'closure.' And you can begin to heal.
3.. . then don't contact her
After the relationship reaches finality, you have to break off contact or you will go mad. Don't beg or cry. Don't drunk-dial. Don't write her e-mail. Don't send packages or CDs. Don't dedicate a song to her on the radio. Geddit? She will find you if she wants to. And even if you can talk your way back into her arms, it's only a temporary reprieve. She already knows you want her back, and she doesn't care. Take that as a sign.
4. Get negative feelings out on paper
Write her a letter pouring out your negative and weepy feelings, then disassociate them from yourself. Throw the letter away or burn it. But definitely don't send it to her. You will only regret it. She will show her friends and her new boyfriend. And they will all share a good laugh.
5. Avoid her friends and any places she goes to
Don't venture into her territory. You won't be welcome. Find new places to hang out for the first few months and make new friends, if necessary. If any of your friends insist on maintaining contact with her, you may have to shut them out, too - at least temporarily. After some time has passed, you should go back to living normally, and that means hanging out at these places and reconnecting with your mutual friends.
6. Throw away anything that reminds you of her
You don't have to burn it all, but definitely get pictures, gifts, clothing, letters, and e-mail out of your living area, or at least out of your line of vision. If that means giving away roughly half of your wardrobe to get rid of the memory of her, so be it. As a rule of thumb, if the object makes you think of her, discard it. This can also save your sanity.
7. Don't try to get your stuff back
Unless it's a diamond ring or something that's one-of-a-kind, you're better off not contacting her to get it back. DVDs, clothes, your extra toothbrush... just let 'em go. They're only possessions. Is it really worth the pain of being in her presence just to reclaim a pair of boxer shorts? Don't exchange your dignity for menial belongings.
8. Spend time with your friends
Let your pals give you a wake up call on how your ex wasn't that perfect to begin with, and that there are more fish in the sea. A little male camaraderie can go a long way towards getting your head straight. We've all been detonated by a woman before and most of us will li9. Exercise your newfound freedom
Freedom is always intoxicating. There's a world of activities you can partake in that you were never able to enjoy because your 'other half' didn't approve. So indulge. Travel. Build a model ship. Go hiking. Play video games on your computer. Watch TV all weekend. Do anything you want. Why not start boxing? Ideally, you want to find an activity that allows you to release your anger and alleviate stress.
10. Remember the bad times
If you feel nostalgic, then think of all the times she was a cow to you. That should do it. Remember the time she made you wait by the dressing room as she endlessly tried on clothing? Or the time she reminded you not too drink too much in front of your mates? Nobody wants that back.
11 tips for getting over your ex: iVillage
Thank you so much. That gives me everything I need to know, and everything I could wish to read when the time gets tough. I sound so stupid now don't I.
She has said everything apart from 'I don't love you anymore' But I will definitely not get my hopes up.
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Originally Posted by chris08
DOn't because She can still love you but obviously she is NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU... there is a big difference.. And for some reason people associate the two... You ever loved someone, but couldn't stand to be around them? EX: a friend, relative,. You love them in the sense that you don't want anything bad to happen to them but don't want to be with or around them... well you have to look at it that way... It hurts.. but you know what.. You did everything right... Some people can't appreciate that, or just can't grasp...
I wouldn't worry one bit, I have been talking to you back and forth, and from what I gather from our conversations you are a great guy and once you start to feel and believe that Then you MY MAN HAVE BEEN TRANSFORMED,
Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.” You already mastered this relationship, by allowing her to fall in love with you.. . Now it's time for you to grow..
“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Originally Posted by jolienoire
Question me aqnd my ex have now a lot of mutual friends they were her friends first so I'm sure the loyalty is with her. But I still talk to them and hang out with them. From time to time I ask how she is doing and all and how she is acting is this bad?? Does this give her the upper hand?
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Originally Posted by chris28
There is a BIG problem! Because a lot of time with mutual friends don't like to choose sides, so every time you ask about her they can tell her, and vic versa, get some new friends... ONE VERY IMPORTANT RULE IN DATING,. PARTNERS SHOULD HAVE THEIR OWN SETS OF FRIENDS.. Don't ask about her, don't hang out with them they can be telling her things about you.. so she knows how you are doing, therefore there is no need for her to worry about you.. You're still an emotional mess.. Leaving her with control.. She can also be telling them to tell you things... Definitely a problem
Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.” You already mastered this relationship, by allowing her to fall in love with you.. . Now it's time for you to grow..
“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
__________________
Yeah the more you ask or talk about her, it doesn't matter what is said, the longer it is going to take to heal your pain!Quote:
Originally Posted by chris28
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Originally Posted by chris08
“Take a second out to think about this: in your life you search and search for the right person for you. Every time you break up with someone you get one step closer to that person. You should look at moving on as getting closer to meeting the one.”
Ian Philpot
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Originally Posted by jolienoire
If you don't mind me asking how many years of experience do u have? And where you from??
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Originally Posted by chris28
I am from New Jersey.. and lets say about 10 years..
Jolie
I was going to give you a greenie for all the great advise you have given the 2 Chris's but I have to spread the rep first.
Guys , eveything Jolie has been saying is so true and you should really take note. I was going to give my own 2 bobs worth when I logged on this morning but she has said it all. Real good stuff!!
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Originally Posted by friend4u178
Aww thanks... I hope they are listening this is coming from a woman... Take heed.. or don't but just thought I would put my two cents in.:p
I'm sure the are... right guys? I wonder if they've seen your picture in "member discussions" "Pictures of our members"Quote:
Originally Posted by jolienoire
Take a look guys , Jolie is a stunning looking woman :-)
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Originally Posted by friend4u178
Ha ha thanks
<a href="http://photobucket.http://i116.photobucket.com/albums/o.../IMG_65781.jpg
I liked the other one too :-) can you show the guys that?
She is 100% correct, couldn't ask for anything more. She's been like a mother to me!Quote:
Originally Posted by friend4u178
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Originally Posted by jolienoire
Dam you are stunning lol.
I definitely plan on taking the advice seriously I'm 28 and I'm tired of games and not getting what I want from a relationship. Thanks for all the advice keep it coming. Hot PICS.
I haven't seen anyone like that in brooklyn lately, lol :)
Thanks!!
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