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Yeah, go cold turkey... if you show little interest, or just back off a little more, the feelings you had before could start to resurface and you could end up for more disappointment and heartache...
Like Tal says, you're doing good... just keep trucking on...
Cold turkey it is! I sent her a very drunken message the other night saying that, "Things are so confusin but I still love you" and she replied the next day asking me was I drunk! She said that she would do her best not to make things confusing any more!
That night she sent me a drunken message saying that she wishes I was at her party.. but she never invited me to it in the first place.
So that was okay. Yesterday I try to get her to come out with mine AND her friends at the weekend for halloween, and she says she has other plans. Then I asked her to meet up tomorrow for a while and she says she has other plans.
So that's it. I've deleted her number, it's time to stop living in the past and time to realise I'm too good for her.
I'm glad, DazT. Don't let her play games with your heart anymore. You can overcome this.
Rebuild your life... I promise you, you will be happier in the long run. Eventually you will be so happy with yourself and where you are going that you won't be saying, "I wish I could go back in the past and fix the things I DID WRONG." That will be history, believe me! You are going to be one incredible person when the dust settles.
Well I have stuck to the no contact since. Almost a week now..
I keep thinking about how she came back into contact 6 months later, telling me she still had feelings for me and she still loved me and all that crap.
I found out today that she is now seeing somebody else when we were still meeting up. That's why she couldn't meet up last week when I asked her to because she was away to the cinema with another guy. And she couldn't even tell me.
It gets me sooo angry even thinking about it. She was the one to come crawling back to me after 6 months.. then when I meet her up, she goes back to her usual tricks and then starts seeing another boy!
16 year old girls for you.
Oh yeah... you're doing the right thing... if she's going to lie to you, then she's not worth your time... she'll just continue to lie to you as long as she knows that she can get away with it... that's the immaturity on her part... but there will be others, you can count on it...
She didn't really lie to me, she just didn't tell me that she's been meeting up with another boy when she's supposed to be dating me! But that's probably worse than lying.
Still on no contact, however.. she sent me a text message the other day.. I never replied but it's making me think of her more and making me feel bad. I have no idea why. Maybe I need closure or maybe I need to tell her that she's done wrong to me and that I don't want to see her again?
Closure is a state of mind, and nothing else. When you split up, that was closure, you just chose not to accept it. Leave her behind and give no more attention to her. You owe each other nothing, even so called "closure"
Well we did all that when we broke up 8 months ago! But she doesn't know I know that she's seeing another boy, I don't even know if she is. All I know is that she chose to go to the cinema with another boy instead of going to meet up with me.
So she doesn't even know that I'm really hurt and want to move on. The question is - do I tell her?
Nope. No reason to tell her. She is wasted emotion and nothing more.
Anybody spending their first Christmas in a couple of years single? Sometimes it's hard, sometimes it's exciting, it's a bit strange. Does anybody else think of the relationship you and your ex had this time last year?
I do, a lot. This is the first time if five years I haven't been with my ex. I think about New Year's Eve, and not being together, hell... I even think about Valentines Day already. It is what it is. I will live through it, but if I had my choice, I would fast forward to get past all of these 'special' holidays that are over glorified with having that special someone in your life.
I love Christmas and I'll still enjoy this festive period but in the back of my mind I will be thinking of ex at times. I always hated new year, this one is going to be as twice as bad. Never liked Valentines either, but this years going to be worse again.
Oh well, things could be worse!
Oh yes! It's already in 2 weeks and I've done nothing to prepare for it... can't wait till it's over!
My first christmas by myself in 4 years. I can't even wish him a merry christmas or anything. He is no longer with us. Well, I can in my prayers... you know... it's just not the same.
At least we have our families and friends.
God bless everyone and have a safe and wonderful holiday :):):)
My Christmas is especially hard. I was with my ex for many yrs. We had many fantastic Christmas memories! Ones with the kids, romantic ones, and just great things that we did to celebrate.
Then we split because of his "problems." Two yrs ago this C'mas, he broke into my home because he was angry, and assaulted me and broke a lot of my bones.
I really have mixed emotions about Christmas now. It reminds me of both the good and the bad.
I'm so sorry to hear that, and God bless you too! I hope you can make it through Christmas with the support of your family and friends... and of course all of us here!Quote:
Originally Posted by southerngalps
Thanks so much, starbuck. It's kind of ironic... he passed away in September, but he did leave me with a precious gift, and didn't even know he did. I have a baby boy on the way.Quote:
Originally Posted by starbuck8
Crazy hah?
I can imagine how you feel at christmas time. What a horrilbe memory! You are strong! And you have all of us here too! ;)
Both you gals are awesome in my book! You two deserve the happiness that you will soon find. If I was around you, I would give you both a huge hug. God bless you both :)
Big hugs back to Y'all! Merry Christmas you guys! Oops, a few tears! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
Christmas was always my favorite time of year. Snow, lights, presents, carols... all that good stuff.
I've been in relationships and have lost loves - including a fiancé who left me at the altar - but the one relationship that I miss most is my Dad.
He passed away 5 years ago last month. Above all, it is the one thing that tarnishes this time of year.
The first year that he was gone my family and I knew that we couldn't just do the same-old-same-old family traditions, because they would never be the same. So, we made new ones.
In my opinion, holidays are not about what we've lost, but about what we have. What we've been blessed with, not what we have had taken from us. When we can look at a holiday without the person that we love beside us and know that its going to be all right, that holidays are still full of cheer and goodwill, and feel truly blessed to be with the ones that care for us and make us feel whole, THAT is when the holidays become real again.
I hope that you are able to find that reality - I'm not saying the pain goes away, but it helps refocus on what really matters.
Thanks, you're sweet ;) happy holidays!Quote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
I'm glad you have that precious gift that he gave you for Christmas. I'm sure he will also be right there celebrating with you, and will leave many memories behind for you and your son. I wish you a very peaceful and Happy Christmas! Take care of that little one. I know his Daddy is giving an extra hand to help you through. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by southerngalps
Another tear :) you are sweet. I know he will be watching over us. Happy holidays to you too! Xoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxo
Well, I was involved last Christmas, and not this Christmas. But I've always seen Christmas as more a family event as that was the context it has been in for most of my life. In fact, my ex and I did not see each other on Christmas at all. New Year's (where we did spend time together, and which has much less of a family component) may be harder. But who knows what opportunities lie around the corner... there appear to be a few.
WOW... so sorry to hear of your loss southerngalps , I'm sure your little addition to the family will be very special :)Quote:
Originally Posted by southerngalps
I lost my father a few years ago at this time so I have mixed feelings at this time as well.
I always look up at the stars on Christmas Eve and without fail there is a Star which shines brighter than the others. I always feel that is him looking down and saying it's OK , I'm in a better place.
I really think Christmas is great in some ways but it can be so hard for people.
I'm really sorry to hear about your problems guys.
I wish all you guys the merriest of Christmas (es)
I'm sure your Dad is making that star shine extra bright just for you M, and I bet he's happy that you notice it! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by friend4u178
I always think back at the good times.
yeah it sucks. But what we have to remember is to not make it all good.
because there was a reason why they left or you left.
just to get some perspective.
best thing I do. Is I use christmass day just to focus on myself :) OK yeah and my family and loved ones sure
but I leave my Xs totally out of my head =)
as a gift from me... to me
Yes, after spending the last 10 with my now EX wife for the holidays, often her larger family there, This will be a loney one, going to spend it most likely on here ( guess that is sad) my online family.
Ssshhhh... I have my tough persona to uphold :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by starbuck8
Silent Night always brings home to me what Christmas is about.
to everyone here who have all touched someone's heart in a special way throughout this past year,
wishing you a blessed and Happy Christmas*
Silent Night Greeting RiverSongs Christmas Cards Greetings
It has now been 15 months since me and my ex have broken up. In March last year, we decided to completely break up and I went through a spell right through to July of not seeing her or talking to her until I bumped her into one night. I started seeing her again in September for a few weeks and nothing until March this year again when I stupidly started seeing her again until May.
Now I haven't heard from her since May when we ended it again.
I know I shouldn't keep going back to her because hot and cold does not describe this girl. She is very immature I guess the way she wants me back so much and then when we're seeing each other again, she's not interested. I guess that hurts the most and I'm emotionally confused.
I know what you're going through. It seems as if when you're apart she can't wait to see you, then when you're together for awhile she can't wait to get away from you.
All this is doing is playing with your heart because you're constantly trying to figure out what the heck she wants.
I suggest sticking to the no contact like you did before, only now recognizing that when those feeling come back and she tries to contact you, remember what happened last time and that it'll most likely turn into her not being interested.
Sooner or later, you will figure out that cutting all contact with her, will allow the confusion to end.Quote:
she wants me back so much and then when we're seeing each other again, she's not interested. I guess that hurts the most and I'm emotionally confused.
Threads merged, yet again.
Hello all,
Its been a while but dazt is right back on amhd..
Basically, last I heard from my ex was that she had got a boyfriend.. so I beg for her to come back to me, knowing that it would never work. She told me she was happier with her new boyfriend that she was with me, so I did the right thing and told her I had to accept that and move on.
So last night I bump into her at a birthday party.. we don't make any eye contact but she tells one of my mates to tell me that she has broken up with her boyfriend.
What sort of a mug would I have been to have spent the night with her, so I tell my mate that she had her chances.
Next thing I know, she snogs 3 different boys, all in front of me..
My heart is crushed once more..
Your decision had been made.
You should ignore whatever she does.
This is really NOT your business.
Her actions shows you made the wise decision you should have laughed your a** off at her and walked with your head high..
Don't let her childish behaviour upset you. She had her chance and she blew it.
You asked her back even though you knew it would never work... somewhere in your head you have suffered enough... you need to tell your heart that...
She has moved on... she is not crushed..
You need to take a leaf out of her book and move on... today,instead of moping and feeling sad and hurt,go out into the world and live!
There are always other girls and other relationships,it may not feel like that now,but I can assure you,the sooner you say goodbye to the ex girlfriend and start no contact,you will feel more empowered and stronger... make a decision today,that she no longer has the power to hurt you... YOU are in charge of your heart,head,mind, body and soul,and no else can dictate by their actions how you will live your life.
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