Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   After 5 years in a relationship girlfriend asks for a 1 month break (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=833141)

  • Jul 20, 2017, 06:05 AM
    Tatla
    If it was due to money, that she had left you, I would suggest, you for TOTAL BREAK, atleast for the time being, and forget her.... the time is not only a great healer but also problem solver and if she loves you, from the heart of her heart, she would definitely come back. She would herself contact you.
  • Jul 20, 2017, 04:47 PM
    PirandelloLuigi
    I have no expectations, I just did not want to drive there myself and get my stuff because it's an hour away and I don't want to see her.

    I don't want to remember that day when she took all my stuff and threw them like garbage and broke up like I was a criminal

    I have done progress in 2 months and I don't want to risk falling back down. My aunt offered to help me and I accepted, I did not ask her or force her.

    She knew her because she was invited a few times there for dinner so that's why she is doing this.

    Whatever happens happens, I don't expect anything, just want my stuff back.
  • Jul 23, 2017, 06:40 PM
    PirandelloLuigi
    Update, I got all my stuff back, except for 1 item, she spoke with my aunt, apparently all her family was there, she told my aunt it is over and she had moved on.

    She also told her she will call me by the end of this week cause she wants some of her stuff back. Should I answer the phone or if she texts me or do I continue no contact?

    I am glad I did no contact because I knew she was going to say something like in the lines of ''it's over''. I did not let her string me along into the friend zone.
    Like Tatla said, it was due to money, she wanted money because she wasn't earning enough and had financial problems.

    I will just forget this failed relationship and learn from it.
  • Jul 23, 2017, 08:43 PM
    talaniman
    Why didn't you just give her stuff to your aunt to give to her? I think you're doing this kind of stuff on purpose because you are a selfish emo drama queen.

    That's sad!
  • Jul 24, 2017, 08:43 AM
    PirandelloLuigi
    She didn't ask for her stuff when they spoke 3 days earlier, or else I would have gave them to her.I don't need drama, I want to close this chapter for good and move on.I have nothing good to expect from this woman.nothing.I am dating other women and doing fine.
  • Jul 25, 2017, 07:43 AM
    smoothy
    I agree with Tal.. just give her stuff to your Aunt.. let your aunt give it to her... quicker closure on your part... none of her junk at your place... so out of sight.. out of mind.
  • Jul 25, 2017, 08:03 AM
    talaniman
    Just pointing out, in an admittedly harsh way, that had you been serious and proactive in your No Contact, HEAL, and move on conviction, you would have made a clean cut of it by giving her stuff back by your aunt when she picked up your stuff, whether she asked for it or not.

    Good luck with your rebounds, have fun, obviously you left the relationship way before you got dumped so why you are so shocked she packed up your stuff, was a bit emo on your part, that's why I suspect when the going gets tough you resort to dramatics. Another example that sealed it for me was getting your aunt between you and the ex(?). Even if she volunteered for the task you were eager and grateful to pass your responsibilities to someone else.

    Just realize that this relationship failed because of BOTH of you EQUALLY.
  • Jul 26, 2017, 08:25 PM
    PirandelloLuigi
    I knew it was over before the dump day because she was taking cymbalta for 2 or 3 years and she was never herself again, and was always negative and only saw the negatives in our relationship, she was not able to see the good things we had together.

    I blame this breakup on anti-depressants which changed her personality and behaviour and she was never able to be her old self again.
  • Jul 27, 2017, 04:43 AM
    Oliver2011
    Alrighty so close this chapter and start moving towards the new one. Stop dwelling on something that is over and not coming back. Move your life forward.
  • Aug 13, 2017, 10:43 AM
    PirandelloLuigi
    Just a little update,

    She blocked me on Facebook, I figure it's because she saw me post some pics of me doing fine and I did some long distance cycling and posted stats with runkeeper.

    I joined a few dating sites and one is a dating site for sports. I met this girl who has also broken up 3 months ago and she seems very interesting.

    I am glad I did not break No contact rule and I am keeping my word when I told her I would disappear from her life. Her blocking me on Facebook just gives me one more reason to forget about her as she is a selfish immature brat. I never asked for a friend request or message her, I never harassed her or stalked her. I never called her even if she told my aunt that she was expecting my call... She wanted the break and wanted space, how can she even say she was expecting my call? Does she think she is royalty ? She thinks she is Kate Middleton, when we broke up she said, maybe we will get back together like Kate and William. She is crazy lol.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:21 PM.