Originally Posted by
Jake2008
I am a little late responding to this, and my first thought is, you have pretty much a messed up life, and the 'stalking' boyfriend, who you dated for only 7 months, 16 years ago, is not the problem.
It often happens that people post a sort of cover story, something concrete indicating the problem, and then the original question/problem, turns into very long narratives, that come with a hint of distain at not being understood. Yet, the information provided in the original post, eventually becomes dust, and the real issues, are far more serious. But, like your 'question', it is much more an issue of how you cope with all the problems in your life, and quite often includes others for your own disappointment- your parents, friends not understanding you, difficulty in relationships, etc. etc. etc. The brief relationship has nothing to do with any of it, other than you can't get over him, even now. Somehow you allow him to keep filtering through your thoughts, and becoming larger than life.
It's like a bait and switch. First the question, then it gets all switched around to your multitude of problems, ranging from your parents, to your autism, to your lack of relationship success, to time is running out for you to have a baby.
You put a lot of meaning into events that should, by now, have no consequence. As to the relationship of so long ago, it seems that you ruminate about it, and that is the starting point for everything else that is wrong in your life.
If he were a threat to you in any way, after 16 years, and you haven't got over figuring him out, and you are still fearful (?), you need far more advice than can be offered here. I don't know how many years of therapy you need before you can stand on your own two feet, and live a productive, happy life, but I wish you some success, that doesn't seem apparent right now.
Getting back to the original question, you put far too much in your analysis of him, even when he's mostly been no more than a blip in your radar, and ghost-like in your thinking. To carry on thoughts of him, in which everything else seems to bring out more and more troubles, really is, as I've said, more than can be dealt with here.
I think that, from what YOU have said, he is only one of many problems you have, that you seem unable to deal with, settle with, or get over. It would be a shame to think another 16 years could go by, and you'd be in the same place as you are now.
I wish you success in your therapy.