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Originally Posted by jj2014

Okay I will let her get on with it I feel I need to be stronger here

She is the one who is causing this drama it needs to stop and she is aware of the impact its having on us

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I think you are the one who is unaware.
They girl has no time for you in her life right now. Leave her alone.
Get your life together.

I think you should on Sunday and saturday's have a date and video chat when u can't see each other reletionships can be hard and she's stressed when she comes home from work make her dinner supprise her make it romatic hope it helps

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Originally Posted by beccamusic

I think you should on Sunday and saturday's have a date and video chat when u can't see each other reletionships can be hard and she's stressed when she comes home from work make her dinner supprise her make it romatic hope it helps

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We are in a long distance relationship but I think we are looking at video calling at weekends

She iniated first contact with me this morning by text with a good morning greeting and wishing me a good day so that's not bad I suppose ?

How far away is she?

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Originally Posted by talaniman

How far away is she?

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2.5 hours

I don't see this going beyond electronic friendship any time soon, and you need to keep a eye on improving your real life, like with a job, friends, and activities. Friendly texts is not bad, but no reason to get false hope or high expectations. Bet she knows you can't afford to visit or date. She probably can't either.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

I don't see this going beyond electronic friendship any time soon, and you need to keep a eye on improving your real life, like with a job, friends, and activities. Friendly texts is not bad, but no reason to get false hope or high expectations. Bet she knows you can't afford to visit or date. She probably can't either.

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She is very understanding of my circumstances and she has been down this road herself so she gets how hard things can be but we have never let money or employment get in the way of our relationship and we met last weekend and we just kept it simple and we both really enjoyed it she is looking at coming down early in the new year or we are looking at meeting halfway but I'm very sensible with money and banked a lot whilst working so I have a lot of money to spare

You have never let money or employment get in the way of your relationship, but your relationship has ONLY been three months. In all honesty, 3 months isn't a relationship. Especially electronically.

You are holding on to false hope. She's really trying to let you down easy, but you keep reading more into this.

She has a busy life and a busy career. She doesn't have time for you, but you don't get that. What you DO need to get is a job and a life. A life without her in it. She clearly isn't as into you as you are her.

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Originally Posted by J_9

You have never let money or employment get in the way of your relationship, but your relationship has ONLY been three months. In all honesty, 3 months isn't a relationship. Especially electronically.
It started

You are holding on to false hope. She's really trying to let you down easy, but you keep reading more into this.

She has a busy life and a busy career. She doesn't have time for you, but you don't get that. What you DO need to get is a job and a life. A life without her in it. She clearly isn't as into you as you are her.

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We just recently met each other and that was great she has just called me to see how I was and appreciates my support and understanding and she is still thinking about us meeting up over Christmas as she said it would be great to see each other
So we will just wait and see ! I thought if she did not like me she would have cut me of a few days after meeting me.
As for the employment side I have got a few interviews lined up so that part is coming together.

I'm a woman, I know how we think. She's being kind to you and trying to let you down easy.

Most of us women are all touchy-feely. We are all about emotions. She doesn't want to hurt you so she's pulling back in hopes that you will just move on without her having to tell you outright that she is not interested in furthering a relationship with you.

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I thought if she did not like me she would have cut me of a few days after meeting me.

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Women don't think like that. Women don't want to hurt your feelings.

This has gone on for 5 pages now, or 50 posts. It's apparent to those of us on the outside that you are too needy. That's a major turn off to us women, especially career minded women.

Even if she likes you, its YOU who has put yourself on HOLD while she waits to see how her plans works out. And you have no plan for yourself. I would have a plan for myself. You need a plan for you that doesn't depend on HER.

Get around your friends and family if you can, and see about the rest later.

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Originally Posted by J_9

I'm a woman, I know how we think. She's being kind to you and trying to let you down easy.

Most of us women are all touchy-feely. We are all about emotions. She doesn't want to hurt you so she's pulling back in hopes that you will just move on without her having to tell you outright that she is not interested in furthering a relationship with you.

Women don't think like that. Women don't want to hurt your feelings.

This has gone on for 5 pages now, or 50 posts. It's apparent to those of us on the outside that you are too needy. That's a major turn off to us women, especially career minded women.

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She was talking about distance and started to make that an issue but if you like or love someone distance does not matter I'm not going to contact her till she contacts me the problem is we have both invested a lot of emotional and physical time together she agrees and I said we should not waste what we have built and she can see that !
Another thing she said earlier this week is that she was thinking of taking a break but did not know what that means ?

She is a first year teacher but she is very confused stressed and tired and has admitted she is struggling to get a balance as this is new to her.
We are talking and just seeing how things go

You can always just keep talking while doing other things with other people. Why cut yourself out of what maybe other/better options and opportunities for fun, and romance? Way too soon to be stuck on maybe.

Take time and make an effort to look around your own world. Bet you are surprised at the things you could be doing for yourself while you wait to make sense of what you think you want. It will also keep your perspective clear and uncluttered by fear and worry about things you cannot control.

You have 3 months and I visit invested. That is not a lot of time. Take a break from each other. When her life calms down you'll see if there is something there. In the meantime, you explore life as well.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

You can always just keep talking while doing other things with other people. Why cut yourself out of what maybe other/better options and opportunities for fun, and romance? Way too soon to be stuck on maybe.

Take time and make an effort to look around your own world. Bet you are surprised at the things you could be doing for yourself while you wait to make sense of what you think you want. It will also keep your perspective clear and uncluttered by fear and worry about things you cannot control.

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Thanks for that I'm going to leave texting her and calling her till the weekend or till she calls but she has said to me that texting is okay and she will respond when she can so the good thing is there is a line of communication which is key

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

You have 3 months and I visit invested. That is not a lot of time. Take a break from each other. When her life calms down you'll see if there is something there. In the meantime, you explore life as well.

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I'm looking at not contacting her till weekend or till she calls me but she does not mind texting though.
She was on about us taking a break but in her mind she was unsure what that meant but she has not said anymore about that as she is in a state of flux when she calls I might tell her forget me coming up in a few weeks arrange something for new year and just keep working together week by week and resolve our problems individually and together

Anyway I sent her a text this morning saying I don't want to add to her stresses and that I feel by giving time out till Friday will help us both and just want us to be happy and healthier together.

She sent a text saying morning but not asking how I am but it does not matter to be honest.

So I'm leaving it be till Friday Then what ever happens after that happens but think I have just made the right move for myself guys ?

No, WG, he doesn't.

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Originally Posted by J_9

No, WG, he doesn't.

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Wg ?

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Originally Posted by jj2014

Anyway I sent her a text this morning saying I don't want to add to her stresses and that I feel by giving time out till Friday will help us both and just want us to be happy and healthier together.

She sent a text saying morning but not asking how I am but it does not matter to be honest.

So I'm leaving it be till Friday Then what ever happens after that happens but think I have just made the right move for myself guys ?

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So you are not going to contact her for 3 whole days? Time outs are for children.
Let her contact you.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

So you are not going to contact her for 3 whole days? Time outs are for children.
Let her contact you.

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No contact for 3 days I hope she does not look at what I'm doing in a negative way ?