She gave you the green light for a better acquantance. Put your best foot forward, but don't over do it. Stay balanced, and leearn, pay attention, and understand.
This is a case of less being more, if you don't push.
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She gave you the green light for a better acquantance. Put your best foot forward, but don't over do it. Stay balanced, and leearn, pay attention, and understand.
This is a case of less being more, if you don't push.
Please make me explain in simpler terms. Secondly, I got the feeler that she wants me to talk to her but I did not. I think that she is in state of confusion that I have made her say Ok and I am not talking but I am myself confused whether that was a proper Yes or not. Lastly, I think girls of her nature don't get into relationships, they become friends and then marry. Now explain yourself!
Take your time to understand her nature, as an acquaintance. That's what she is going to do, confused or not. She is in no hurry, why should you be?
You have said that she is 'traditional'. In your culture how does being 'traditional' affect a female's interactions with males?
Pretend she is one of your female relatives. How would you expect your sister or cousin to behave and act in the same situation this woman is in?
Basically, she said she doesn't know you well enough to be more than a causal friend... YET.
So? Be a friend... like a friend that you have no interest in... as was said. Like a female family member.
She's smart enough to want to see the real you first... not the hormone driven you. That's really not a bad thing. If you can't be casual friends... then there is nothing that will even make you more.
What do you do... be casual friends... don't push it, if it grows into a stronger friendship... fine... if it doesn't. Understand that's all there ever will be and deal with it.
You can be friends with females and NOT have to be more than that. I've been friends with many women that while they have been good friends... I would never have considered more even IF I was single.
You aren't Mr. Spock... and logic doesn't rule the world. It is what it is. Every bit as irrational as it appears.
On the other side I was expecting that she would say "yeah Ok' we can be friends on the evidence of things that have happened before. But she gave again a onfusing answer that has left me guessing again. First saying that acquaintance is Ok and then herself agreeing to what I said. I did not utter a single word in between.
Because there in no time left to get to know each other better.! We won't be meeting each other after graduation nor she would be coming out to meet me.
Here's what I have though of. I am thinking of calling her and saying that I just need your two minutes. Then I'll take her full name and say that I have genuine feelings for you in the sense that I like you. I have no intention to flirt or anything from that sort and these are pure feelings from my heart.
Then I'll ask her to go home and think over it and leave without listening to what she has to say!
You contradicted yourself... in fact saying those words does mean exactly that... and its NOT what she is wanting to hear. There IS a big difference there that you are failing to see.Quote:
Originally Posted by danyy
If you will truly never cross paths again... then why not just drop it.
You see a girl that gets your hormones going. You don't see a girl you know enough to actually like. She actually sees this... but you haven't yet.
You are stll trying to jump in with both feet, when she has made it clear she doesn't want that. And it will end in a manner you are not hoping for.
You can't sweep her off her feet if you are putting her on the defensive. You have to play by HER rules if you want to be allowed to participate in the game.
K eep
I t
S imple
S tupid! That's what a wise man once told me.
Why you simply don't ask her for her number, and end this confusing drama, is way beyond me. That's what I would do, and forget the rushed timetable you have.
Then its simple, you have a way of enhancing the acquaintance, or know she is unwilling to have the acquaintance, by saying NO!
She did ask about Facebook friends, but of course, you paid no attention to that option.
What a soap opera, and complicated situation you are creating for yourself.
Got to spread the rep...Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
But I wanted to say was...
There is making a mountain out of a molehill, and THEN there is recreating the Himalayas from a grain of sand.
She did not get my hormones going at all. I have been in her class and I have observed her and liking develops in that sort of manner. By saying that I have feelings for you does not mean that I love you but I have developed some sort of liking for you and I am simple and honest enough to convey those to her. Rather than taking her number then thinking again whether to what extent would she talk to me etc. It's better off to tell her what I truly feel of her and what has a chance of appreciation. In fact, she was the one who started it off and I swear by GOD she did. So she has something up her mind too!
If she didn't get your hormones going at all then why the obsession with her?
Incidentally... I'm 49, and have been through more than a few relationships since I was still in high school. In fact.. I forget exactly how many before I met "the one" and got married.
By the time I was 21 I had been through 5 or 6 and banged most of them.
In my part of the world... telling a girl "you have feelings for her" does in fact mean you want to be more than just friends. And telling that to a guy who isn't gay will get your butt licked.
You aren't listening to what we have been telling you.
You ARE in fact romantically interested in her... and she isn't in you.
You don't want to admit it... but its as clear as daylight to the rest of us.
You can say... "you just want to be friends..." but nobody gets this obsessive about being "friends" with someone.
Friendships happen... they aren't pursued like you are on a safari. Or a Corporation Merger.
Those are your hormones, attracting you to her, and making you look for ways to get her to show what you hope is the same attraction back to YOU!! You just think a simple confession is enough for her to open up, but boy are you wrong because you know nothing about females at all!! Nada, ziltch. If you did, you would show interest by moving slowly, and engaging her mind.Quote:
QUOTE by danyy;
She did not get my hormones going at all. I have been in her class and I have observed her and liking develops in that sort of manner
You may as well hit her over the head with a club and drag her back to the cave with your clumsy techniques.
And you are to blind, or just don't know she has already opened a door for you, but you aree not experienced enough to take it.Quote:
By saying that I have feelings for you does not mean that I love you but I have developed some sort of liking for you and I am simple and honest enough to convey those to her.
What if she doesn't do it your way? Which she hasn't, now what?Quote:
Rather than taking her number then thinking again whether to what extent would she talk to me etc. It's better off to tell her what I truly feel of her and what has a chance of appreciation.
But your own inexperience and lack of an open mind has stopped you from taking full advantage of the opportunity she has presented you with.Quote:
In fact, she was the one who started it off and I swear by GOD she did. So she has something up her mind too!
You have floundered in confusion doing things your own way, so take a few suggestions from older, wiser, more experienced guys who are trying to teach the young guy a few things to help him.
What a time to be stubborn, and unyielding. No wonder you have not gotten any further along than you have. You don't listen, or don't want to. And that's not the way to find out what you don't know.
It would be to your advantage to listen to the people from whom you asked advice.
I will tell you that every one of them is experienced and intelligent enough that you should Take the advice you asked for and try it!!!
Then if it does not work ask for plan B.
You can micro-analyze this till the meaning is lost if you keep thinking about results instead of acting on results.
Now get off your PC and go DO SOMETHING!
Haha Yes I am romantically interested in her, I would love to marry her and not bang her. See Telling my feelings to her would at least let out my honesty. She can't know what am I doing, if I have an intention to bang her I can still do it by doing friendship with her and then manipulating her. Secondly, may be this friendship thing wasn't something she wanted to hear, she wanted to hear more because she herself nodded on friendship after first refusing like a mad girl!
10 days left and I pursue friendship!! What difference would it make when 3 months did not make any difference. Ok I agree that I made a very cheap shot by saying that can we be friends, may be that was not she was wanting to hear, may be she wanted to hear more as friendship happens and it is not enforced. Also, if she wanted to give a green signal to friendship she would have done by actions long before it by engaging in conversations with me more. Also, do you see the contradictions in her behavior initially and afterwards. She developed sort of interest by looking fondly and talking and then something else, what was that, she just wanted to make acquaintance with me by doing that?
She probably is not so consumed by you as you are about her. Don't try to read a females mind, or think she fits some kind of logical mode. That will drive you nuts. They all have "The power"!! They can drive a male nuts, whether he has a brain or not.
Exactly true . SO I should find that out whether something is true or not rather than being driven nuts!
danyy
Comment on talaniman's post
Exactly true . SO i should find that out whether something is true or not rather than being driven nuts!
I think it may be too late.
But keep trying.
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