I think a part of her wants to be on her own with out you. After a while if she really loves you she will miss you and she may want to come back to be with you. If her job is that important she may ask you to join her and depending on the situation and circumstances that may or may not be possible for the 2 of you. Give her the time and space she needs. Respect what she is asking for because you don't want to force her or guilt trip her into doing something that she may blame you for later. Remember the Lord up above has the master plan and there is nothing you can do to change it. What will be will be!

One of my mates said she saw her out in town the other night, with a few friends. I don't know quite how I'm feeling right now but if I hear someone tell me she's with someone else or seen with anyone else - its going to get to me. I don't understand how she can be so blunt and F-in coldhearted. We used to spend loads of time together tell each other everythin an neither of us felt we were invading each others space too much - we enjoyed each other for 2 an half years now on a u turn to this. I used to think we had a future going but now I definitely don't think so but hearing that she is getting attention elsewhere will get to me. How do I not let it affect me?

I wish I could find a girl that would treat me as I would them - and everythin would be okay - why do some women have to take advantage of good things? (with reference to men, not sterotypin females, I seen it all the time)

Nice rant, feel better? If not rant some more, Then you will feel better.

What?

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Originally Posted by steve_malibu

wat?

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Tal just meant it is good to rant, which it is... It really does help.

Okay, didn't know if he was being sarcastic, I don't know what to think sometimes, I see other girls, but they dotn seem to match up to her, 10% of the time I find myself wanting to wind back time to try an resolve this, or prevent it?

If anyone reading this can put what I need to do in a few lines, please do so, sometimes I need to be told how it is from another perspective. Thanks

Quote:

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Originally Posted by steve_malibu

okay, didnt know if he was being sarcastic, jus i dont know what to think sometimes, i see other girls, but they dotn seem to match up to her, 10% of the time i find my self wantin to wind back time to try an resolve this, or prevent it?

if anyone readin this can put what i need to do in a few lines, please do so, sometimes i need to be told how it is from another perspective. thanks

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You should not compare other women to her as all individuals are unique in their own way and until you get to know them, I mean really know them, then how do you know what they have to offer in terms of what you had before?

Comparing people is never a good idea, as it shows a closed mind and a pessimistic attitude, neither of which can help you move forward.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by steve_malibu

okay, didnt know if he was being sarcastic, jus i dont know what to think sometimes, i see other girls, but they dotn seem to match up to her, 10% of the time i find my self wantin to wind back time to try an resolve this, or prevent it?

if anyone readin this can put what i need to do in a few lines, please do so, sometimes i need to be told how it is from another perspective. thanks

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Steve, you're going to feel that doubt from time to time, it's normal. That is fear's way of keeping you in the same place and that's not good. The others above are right, find a way to not compare, remind yourself that if it were the same person you wanted and worked out, you'd just go back. That's not the case. Your ex may have great qualities you really cherished, I'm sure she didn't break the mold and eventually, when you're in the right frame of mind, you'll recognize those qualities in others.

She called me yesterday, I didn't recognise the number so answered an ended up speaking for a few minutes, I duno why she wants to hurt me so much, she just seems so cold hearted, and it is getting to me - I have never hurt her or done anything to her ever yet she seems to enjoy hurting me constantly. She wanted space I'm completely giving it to her but she can't just not be with me, she has to tell me that she's going to throw my stuff out, or tell me how great life is, and put on a massive front - I did the same an I think we both knew what we were doing, its really getting to me. Pretty depressed today, prob worst day so far. I love her and she enjoys hurting me now. We broke up in the past and she wrote me so many letters telling me she realised what she lost, and she made so much effore and since then we have been 99% amazin. I'm an intuitive person, but this has got me twisted - more tha anything that is bothering me is how I am confused, confused about how she has so dramatically switched!! Right now, right now - I'm on a big downer

I feal your pain man, girlfriend is doing the same thing to me.

I am ready to just go up to her and ask her to marry me, maby she wants the complete opposite.

Shawk, what's your problem then, how long you been with her, how old are you etc.. . See how much of the 'same boat' we are in. I got some good info after what some of these guys have been telling me on here and how its been working.

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Originally Posted by Shawk

I feal your pain man, gf is doing the same thing to me.

I am ready to just go up to her and ask her to marry me, maby she wants the complete oposite.

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How about posting your own question and re reading this thread. It may be helpful.

Steve, if what you say about this gal is true, then she sounds pretty evil to me. She asked for space, you gave it, yet she needs to scratch her itch by talking to you, who gives a hoot how it makes you feel, as long as it makes her feel better. Then she has to put on this ridiculously immature front and hurt you, and you love this? Why??

At least masochist get some sort of sexual pleasure out of their pain, I don't get it. I can see loving something... until it causes me extreme pain, without caring.

The moment you recognized her phone you should have called her little butt on the carpet and drawn your line in the sand! "hey, we're not talking right now, and I don't know about you, but I'm not into games. I don't need to know how you're doing or where you've been, you wanna throw my stuff away, knock yourself out, burn it, don't care and don't call me" click. You would have walked away from that phone call feeling 10 feet tall and a lot stronger my friend.

Ye I did pretty much that, and I did feel better. I don't think about her that much, apart from little things that remind me of her. Though after these stupid fronts an games she's playing I can't believe she could do this to someone who she has been with hapily for las 2 1/2 yrs I just feel disgusted and thank ful that it happened now an not when I was any older or committed. Sometimes it feels weird though, like she's died cause its gone from being with her all the time to not seeing or having a nice conversation with her for about 3 weeks now. But I think its safe to say that, that door has closed now an I isn't going back through it, cheers guys for all your help on here, appriciated. Going to work on myself now, trainings going well, work is strong an most importantly chilling out is good as well, this has deffinitly been weird for me, but talking to all you guys in this forum as deffinitly helped me, and I got some close mates that I can talk to. Thank again anyway - if anything else strange occurs I will post it, if its relavent? Or crazy but apart from that I think the case is over?

Steve - go find a normal gal. I thin MOM summed it up well!

Somebody may need your experience to help them through a rough time, so don't be a stranger.

Hey people's to post, that things are still working okay, haven't contacted the ex, I don't want to and don't really think about it, it doesn't affect me when I here her name or stuff about her. I've reflected on what she has done and how unfair it was and so now I really couldn't care less about her! I've been training an hard at college work, talk to other girl mates is good to, got some good girl - friends. An for anyone else out there who has read my issue, you can see it has been a rollercoaster all I can say is think about it logically and keep yourself busy! 'if you can't love them, hate em' don't get caught up as a good friend to soon after, hate them an balls in your court, however this is my theory, people are obvioulsy going to have different opionions this has worked best for me. I used to love her with everythin I had, now I hate her, strange but human emotion is?

I can't cheer you up though but hope my opinion helps you :
Breaking up its hard I know that it makes you cry and be sad but after a while it leaves...
She thinks that that's the right thing to do well that's what she thinks well I don't think you can change her mind...
It will hurt to break up it will make you cry and be sad but that's life... and life is short so move on
You think she's the right person for you well when your in love you think that that's the right person for you , but that's not always right...

Hi steve,

Only discovered this forum a week ago, but what a great forum! Learnt a great deal about breakups, wish I used this forum when I broke up with my EX in June 2005, trouble is, we still see each other and I`ve tried to get back with her justI like you Steve, but I am trying to make little or no contact with her. (maybe I`ll post my break-up situation as well? which was quite bad, but I like you did see a future in this woman)

All the best Steve, may the rest of 2007 be a good year for you to meet a wonderful and sensitive woman! :p