Nicosuave my friend your posts were merged together as they are about the same thing, and post #34 was your last one so all five pages are intact. The original one was closed because you were obnoxious, and I daresay so will this one if you remain so argumentative. That goes for the caps too!

Take what fits you best, and leave the rest alone or... be closed, deleted, banned, whatever. And just so you know, (I think you do already) its much better to scroll down and comment in the answer box, and not the comment on this post feature.

I guess because I still had some strength to resist assaulting judgement about "The restraining order". The caps is anger about the judgement, I am sorry.

The answers were all merged and all but the 1st post was removed. They are all about the same thing, which I could write 100 pages about. The 1st post was ill-written and generated too much negative judgement on me.

So how can you "make" us like you? I want to. I'm trying to. Or maybe you don't care if we do or don't.

I know this is just an internet site and I shouldn't get upset at baloney answers. It got to me though and I apologize but... if people can write good compassionate stories of relation to my particular scenario, or sound advice that isn't loaded with judgement, that's great! But when people call me a stalker... that is judging me on past events that occurred in the distant past without all the information.
I only volunteered that information hoping people would ask questions about it and differentiate that experience from this one. I learned once again that honesty is not best and to keep things like this to myself.

I posted additional questions that were about the same problem because it would take 20 posts of that length to get the full picture across. Only then after I have nothing left to say about it would I really take sound advice to absolute heart because only then would any advice given be fully informed.
As it is you all have a 3% picture of what happened, and maybe I lit the wrong areas, maybe what's really pertinent is escaping my focus in the 1st post but would come out in the 10th. There will be no more posts about this subject because I can see I've hit the limit of peoples patience.

What? Whatever lol

Now you're dumping me?

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Originally Posted by nicosuave1

I know this is just an internet site and I shouldn't get upset at baloney answers. It got to me though and I apologize but...if people can write good compassionate stories of relation to my particular scenario, or sound advice that isn't loaded with judgement, that's great! But when people call me a stalker...that is judging me on past events that occurred in the distant past without all the information.

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Unfortunately, more than likely for just me, you don't send fuzzies in my direction that allow me to want to be compassionate. However, I digress.

OK, so you were with her initially because you felt sorry for her and the problematic childhood she had and you wanted to help her work through the issues she and better herself in life. Would that be a fair assumption?

Did you then feel that once you offered her and showed her how life could be, that you were then justified in her sharing that with you for however long? Did you not have an inkling that possibly once you had given her the confidence and the dream of what was, that she would want to then venture out on her own?

Would it also be fair to say that she was like a bird with a broken wing. You can mend it and make it fly again. And although it'll never fly the same it won't ever come back.

For all good things decent, you've made her fly. Can you not, just now let her go? Take pride in helping her achieve something she's never maybe had the opportunity to do before? Perhaps you should volunteer at an outreach if you have a penchant to helping those less fortunate.

About Wondergirl and warm fuzzies: I just got destroyed by someone I love, my confidence and self esteem is at an all time low. I don't like myself, somehow it's all my fault. How can you expect me to be a bubbly warm fuzzy happy person who coaxes the therapy I need out of you? Pardon me for not being easy to like, you're dealing with a person who is already down on himself enough. I basically spend my entire life thinking I am crap, and then thinking I am even crappier because people think I have it easy. The girl actually said in a fight once "if I had your life it would be so easy!" and I thought no, you are the one with an easy life, because you are able to be happy and you love yourself, you don't allow setbacks to destroy you. People say it's all my own doing, that suffering is my choice... no, it's not, it's a result of brain chemistry that is not my fault and I cannot change without medication, that's what the therapists would say. My reaction is and always has been: No, there is nothing wrong with me, it's the circumstances of my life, the abnormal and unusually cruel difficulties of my life, the tragic and ironic story of my life. It is possible to be the victim of happenstance, of a string-of-pearls sequence of unlucky and miserable events beyond my control and cancerous to my chances for a reasonably happy existence.

Fix her for someone else? Why would I be happy with that? I hope she never gets fixed and only realizes her error with me on her death bed. In between I hope she ruins more and more her own chances of happiness, as she has so effectively done to me.

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Originally Posted by nicosuave1

it's a result of brain chemistry that is not my fault and I cannot change without medication

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Then see a psychiatrist, get a prescription for meds that will smooth out the wrinkles, then see a counselor twice a week to set goals and to have someone to be accountable to.

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My reaction is and always has been: No, there is nothing wrong with me, it's the circumstances of my life, the abnormal and unusually cruel difficulties of my life, the tragic and ironic story of my life.

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But you and I know better, don't we.

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It is possible to be the victim of happenstance, of a string-of-pearls sequence of unlucky and miserable events beyond my control and cancerous to my chances for a reasonably happy existence.

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But you and I know that's not the case for you. The tsunami is of your own making.

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fix her for someone else? Why would I be happy with that? I hope she never gets fixed and only realizes her error with me on her death bed. In between I hope she ruins more and more her own chances of happiness, as she has so effectively done to me.

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Ok, can't say I didn't try. I'm back with my original thoughts.

You are too angry to even see a glimmer that although YOU missed out and yes maybe someone else will reap the benefits.. THAT IS LIFE. But because of YOU she is a better person.

You seriously need to address this and soon.. that 'hate' is already eating away at you. Until you're just a shell of a bitter man.

It is... too late for me, son. -Vader

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it is... too late for me, son. -Vader

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Now you sound like my mil's sister, "Poor me." And I had such excitement and hope for you! You bring so much to the table.

Wow interesting thread to say the least... :)

Nicosuave, I know its easy for us all too say move one, but, that is what you must do.

She has chosen to go her separate way. Her feelings have changed and aren't we all entitled to be happy?

Would you stay with someone if you were not happy with them?

That isn't a reflection on you. Its just the way it is. Sometimes it just doesn't click with someone.

And as much as it hurts you need to accept that. You seem to have so much going for you. Don't waste it over some women who doesn't deserve anymore of your time, energy or love.