Cat, there may be some truth in what you say. On the other hand, I did call immediately after she sent that first "need to talk" text and left a voicemail saying to call me. Part of the reason I acted against my better judgement (i.e. not chasing this up) is that this is the third time she'd done an unexpected "this relationship isn't working" announcement (first time in Feb, then again in June).

Now I feel even worse...

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Originally Posted by Dornraben

Cat, there may be some truth in what you say. On the other hand, I did call immediately after she sent that first "need to talk" text and left a voicemail saying to call me. Part of the reason I acted against my better judgement (i.e. not chasing this up) is that this is the third time she'd done an unexpected "this relationship isn't working" announcement (first time in Feb, then again in June).

Now I feel even worse...

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And as long as you are clinging onto this dead and gone relationship , you will keep feeling worse.

There isn't "some truth" in what cat said. It is you only wanting to recognize some part of what was actually defining your relationship.

I understand how hard it is to give up when you're in love.

But she OBVIOUSLY is not and is gone.

Save some dignity and self respect and move on.
NO Contact! As hard as it will be, will not get easier .

I'm sorry but there is no hope left here.
Face it now or continue to suffer needlessly .
It is over.

You know dornraben, if I was drowning in the ocean and struggling to stay afloat hoping to get rescued, but things looked really bleak because no boat was anywhere to be seen, I still wouldn't give up. But guess what, I'm still going to drown, it's just going to take longer. So if you want to hang on to the slim hope that she will come around, then do it. Being that you're in the middle of the ocean, no one, I mean nobody at all, will see you lose your dignity or self respect, so do whatever you want

Thanks for the replies everyone, The honest analysis is appreciated. I know full well that I've developed insecurities in this relationship, for a variety of reasons*. But she had them too - and could be equally as quick to "jump to conclusions".

(*I realise that I knew (subconsiously) that she wasn't as "in to it" as me for several months, but tried to overcompensate by stepping up the affection.)

I'm not sure why everyone keeps assuming that I'm still hoping for a reconcialtion though, or that I have some idea it will work out again. It''s not the case at all. This "beating mysself up" is just part of what I'm going through as part of understanding WHY and HOW it happened. I recognise that she did what she had to - and told her this on the phone last week - and that things had become so unhealthy between us that ending it was the only option.