Ask Me Help Desk - Lies and The End?

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Originally Posted by BlazingCold

Why would her life not be pretty good. She's out of a relationship that caused her a lot of pain apparently (ours, pain that I never knew existed), has an apparently great group of friends, is into a lot of clubs and now has a bf (2 months after leaving me).

Blaze, is her life good? She is going through the same kind of thing as my ex it seems. She wants to be young and have fun. Why do you think the relationship caused her pain? It may have held her back from being the wild girl for a bit. Remember that you are blaze (it seems) a sincere and caring man and deserve so much more than this. Take a look in the mirror and you will see all the great qualities that you have, that she gave up. You are certainly a mature man for your age and I have respect for that. She does not seem like relationship material to me anyway, but MAYBE she is trying to hold on to something that she knew was good by seeking out someone that could live the wild side with her by getting into a new relationshiop so quickly. If that is the case (and I am not saying for sure it is), soon enough it will backfire. These type of men provide nothing in terms of emotional security... Look at yourself as a good catch mate, for the right woman. She is certainly not right for you and perhaps its not my place to say that because I don't really know her or you but as I have said before, she seems a step outside of your maturity zone.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlazingCold

What reason would she have to cry about me? She's the one who left. She knows what she was doing. I do operate under the satisfaction that her life is better off without me, because it is. Why would you leave someone who you told loved with all your heart unless you were sure that life without them is better than life with them.

Why are you downgrading yourself as someone who is not worthy of her Blaze by saying that you operate under the satisfaction that her life is better off without you.You assume too much that she is having a ball of a time. She may be partying it up and have a new boyfriend but is this new life so great? is this new guy so great in comparison to you? Just because it is happening, it does not mean that there is good in it. I was thinking the same about my ex but I know one thing, she knew for a fact I was in love with her and most likely your ex knew this for sure about you. This is now gone, given up.. To give someone up who loves you is a big loss in itself especially if that person is a good person and sincere and would never let you down.

You sell yourself too short and assume that you are the cause of the breakup. Don't punish yourself blaze for someone else's confusion about what they want.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlazingCold

Besides, thinking like this becomes motivation for me to have the last laugh by making the changes to myself I've always wanted. I will have my revenge, by living a great life full of opportunity and prosperity.

That's good thinking but don't get too caught up in thinking of moving on and living well as revenge. Anger and bitterness are very unhealthy feelings although at times also natural. While it is actually good revenge LOL, it is important to let go of the idea of revenge and reflect on the time you spent with the person you loved and be grateful that you lived this chapter in your life.

You are actually fortunate blaze, you have found real love although it has now gone, at least you found it an will again. You have also learned an important lesson in life. You are a winner blaze, without question, just because you don't have the woman, this does not mean you are the loser, not by a long stretch.

Forget her as best you can and have a great new year!!

Thanks, Geoff. It's nice to know someone cares about me.

You make many good points, and I know you're right. It's just that I can't see this right now. I know I'll come out of this eventually. But this hurts now more than it did at the beginning.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlazingCold

Thanks, Geoff. It's nice to know someone cares about me.

You make many good points, and I know you're right. It's just that I can't see this right now. I know I'll come out of this eventually. But this hurts now more than it did at the beginning.

Don't worry blaze, you are not alone..

I still have pain too and new year's eve was especially emotional for me. There is nothing wrong with what you are going through. Pain is natural, it is how we deal with it that matters. It has been 4 month exactly now for me and I still feel like I need more time even though I have accepted my ex is gone. It does not mean that the pain goes away altogether but time does make it better and we will both get there eventually. You feel extra pain now too because you have found out your ex has indeed entered a new relationship, so her myspace page says...

This was bound to cause you pain blaze and take you back a few steps as I am sure it would for me. There was always going to be a time when you would have to accept that she will find someone else as there is for us all.

I know you will be o.k blaze, don't worry that you feel you are not making progress.. You are but you have it seems, gone a few steps back.

I promise you it will be o.k. If I get it wrong, fly over to the U.K and punch me in the nose for lying.. LOL

Happy New Year to you!