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-   -   Dilemma (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=503887)

  • Mar 20, 2010, 05:31 PM
    vanheart

    Well, that's the second time.

    One with her Mom, and now this one.

    Those things only hurt yourself & show how weak you are.

    Hope you are starting to realize the importance of NC & the strength you have to muster up to do so. You can do it.

    Alcohol can cloud that, and Im sure you are paying the price now by feeling like crap.

    Just get back on the NC horse & don't do those things again.

    Were here to help you get over the hump.
  • Mar 22, 2010, 08:36 AM
    Imabadman

    Post #31
  • Mar 22, 2010, 12:52 PM
    snakebiteadl

    She is playing games now - she left a voicemail on my phone saying she misses me - crying, saying how lonely she is.
  • Mar 22, 2010, 12:55 PM
    vanheart

    Delete her number & block it.
  • Mar 22, 2010, 01:07 PM
    amicon

    Absolutely-b l o c k her number.

    Stop the mindgames.
  • Mar 22, 2010, 02:00 PM
    Newguy2009

    Screw that! She cheats on you then stomps on you calling you weak and pathetic, then crys saying she misses you. Block her number delete all contact and you win!

    If you respond, guess what, you just lost and she got you by the balls.
  • Mar 23, 2010, 03:10 AM
    snakebiteadl

    We've agreed to meet up as we have to finalise all details for the flat - she now says she is really looking forward to seeing me and that she was lonely as all her iPod songs remind her of me... we are going for some food and then watching a film.

    Im actually in a really good place and have been in this position many times before to know that I can handle a friendship.

    She also posted on her Facebook, after we'd agreed to this meeting - that 'life is sweet'. Whether this was directed towards me or not I don't know - but it makes a changes from her writing 'aint life a ' on Saturday and then texting me/calling me and telling me she misses me.

    Although when she text me yesterday she said she was feeling much better. I thjink something may have happened with the other guy over the weekend, and she realised the grass isn't always greener. I don't know.

    I am looking forward to the meeting, and I am not going to tell her how I feel, but just be positive and keep everything light.

    I want her to know that I no longer need her and I guess this is why I want this meeting.
  • Mar 23, 2010, 03:17 AM
    snakebiteadl

    Im going complete NC up until the meetign and NC has been working apart from my two blips!

    I feel better in myself, I do and I want her to see that, not the crying pleading idiot from a few weeks ago...
  • Mar 23, 2010, 04:03 AM
    amicon
    You're not NC if you keep checking her FB.

    As for meeting up,well,keep it short and businesslike-a meal and a movie?!

    Rethink that one-I guess false hope has raised its ugly head.. .
  • Mar 23, 2010, 04:55 AM
    snakebiteadl

    I know - that wasn't my suggestion either! I wanted to go for one drink!
  • Mar 23, 2010, 05:42 AM
    Newguy2009
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by snakebiteadl View Post
    I jsut found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me. She basically blames the fact that she had to ask me for affection as the root cause for her seeking comfort elsewhere. She says she carried me and that she was sick of it.


    I don't understand why you would want to be "friends" with someone like this. She cheated on you and then blamed it on you?! W T F? Would you want to be friends with some one that stole from you too?

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by snakebiteadl View Post
    Will she come back?

    I guess she did when things didn't work out with her other dude. This chick has you by the juevos homeboy. I bet you will pay for dinner and the movie too right?
  • Mar 23, 2010, 05:52 AM
    amicon

    Yes,really,why socialize with somebody who has treated you like mud?

    Where is your selfrespect?
  • Mar 23, 2010, 06:17 AM
    Imabadman

    As a third party and from my perspective I find it amusing, for lack of a better term, to see how feelings and emotions influence our better judgment. For instance your ability to derive that her feelings have changed for you suddenly from something as simple as a 3-word blurb on Facebutt.

    I realize you're going to do what you feel is right, that's your choice. The best advice I can give at this is to keep your guard up. She's already manipulated you a dozen or so times, cheated on you, and demonstrated that she has NO respect for you. You might consider playing your cards close to your chest.

    Here's something to think about… Did you ever consider that she is what some would refer to as an “Attention Whore”? Scenario; She's bored with you and not getting the attention she feels she needs so she starts cheating on you searching for excitement and passion the 'something' new sexual partners bring. Then that honeymoon phase starts to cool down, she's getting bored again so she pulls your leash to rile up her little puppy. Knowing her puppy will be oh so happy to see her, and like a little puppy you scamper off humping her leg begging for attention and providing a short term distraction. Well, that is until she becomes annoyed and you're kicked to the corner or one of the other 'puppies' ups the anti on attention.

    All I'm asking is you think about it.
  • Mar 23, 2010, 07:36 AM
    vanheart

    Doesn't sound like NC to me.
    Same as before.
  • Mar 23, 2010, 08:11 AM
    snakebiteadl

    I agree... I just feel the need to redeem myself after the crying and pleadign episodes... ive found out as well that she is moving nearer to the place that the guy is from with her poisonous friend... and further away from me... im going to kep my guard up at this meeting, and I'm going to get back everything she ever took from me... also, I've started seeing someone myself!Its nots the same though
  • Mar 23, 2010, 08:22 AM
    amicon
    Redeem?
    You owe her nothing-the only thing you should be working on as regards your ex is how to sort the flat out.

    She's pulling your strings again.
  • Mar 23, 2010, 08:29 AM
    snakebiteadl

    What's weird is the scenario as to which she wants to set up - it's the exact scenario of where we are meeting etc as when we told each other we loved one another... and I used to have game! Totally confused.
  • Mar 23, 2010, 08:41 AM
    amicon

    You are confused because you're buying into her BS.
  • Mar 23, 2010, 08:52 AM
    Imabadman

    Oh boy I can't wait to hear what happens...
  • Mar 23, 2010, 08:53 AM
    talaniman

    Your just mad because she tells you what to do, and when to do it, and you do it!

    You wouldn't be mad, or confused if you had your own plan, and your own solution, that worked for you.

    Then you would have a position of strength, and not weakness.

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