You are very correct. And yes, I am the type of individual who likes to be enlightened.Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeistough75
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You are very correct. And yes, I am the type of individual who likes to be enlightened.Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeistough75
Wow. This just got ugly. She had her new boyfriend text me. He called me out on stuff. But imo, totally uncalled for and totally immature on her part. I definitely over this now.
Called you out on what stuff? Had you been contacting her? Maybe she didn't have him do it, maybe he is a creep and is marking his territory, regardless leave this alone.
This girl, who has been your girl since she was what 14 has grown up and wants to see what's out there. I think dating some one that young and for that long really keeps you from experiencing dating and hanging out and having fun. You get too wrapped up in one person and that is not healthy.
This may be the first of many dates for her, she is dating, see what's out there. You should be doing the same.
Leave it all alone and get out yourself.
Yes, I contacted her this morning when I found out, big mistake I know. Regardless, she was with him and he text me and called me out saying leave her alone, if you hadn't messed up maybe she would still like you, if you came around it'll get physical, watch what you say, etc etc. I will be leaving this alone from now on. I don't want any problems, and its not worth it arguing and fighting over a girl.Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
Well you need to stop contacting her. What she does is none of your business and you have no right. She is with someone else, has moved on.
Leave her alone. I know you are hurting but in time you will find that you too have changed and want to know what's out there.
Change your number and don't contact her again. It will save you headaches, believe me.
Trust me. There will be no more contact with her. She is not the same girl I knew a month ago. She changed so fast, and its sad. After 5 years I don't even recognize her anymore. I had a lot of good advice. I stuck with some of it, but I broke the NC rules. I kind of paid for it. But then again, I'm glad things turned out this way because it gives me the extra incentive to get over her.Quote:
Originally Posted by Newguy2009
Amazing how people change isn't it? Almost seems like it happens overnight. You will be fine IF you stick to NC. I had a couple of setbacks in my breakup (mostly because we own a house together) but I solved that and haven't had to talk to her for months now and each day gets better. I still think about the ex sometimes and you will too but you have to stay busy and learn to file those memories in a virtual box somewhere in the back of your mind.
Come here as much as you want. It helped me knowing I was not alone and neither are you! Cheers buddy! Enjoy being single. While you can.
Where do I start?
You need to let go of saying she shows no emotion. She was showing emotion wanting to hang out with you and spend time out as a couple. She was showing she wanted you by her side. You work full time, big deal. She was in college full time also. You don't think that's tiring? Work or work you still need to spend time together. You seemed to have gotten in the work and sit home cycle and she saw it and wanted to break it. I also seeing her showing emotion because she did think of the break off for a month. If this is true she was full of emotion struggling with her choices. I am sure she had feelings for you and didn't want to hurt you. I am sure it was hurting her inside also.
If she was acting all happy single then she was happy.
I think you both started dating young. You even said yourself you pushed your friends aside to be together. Maybe her going to college opened her eyes. She made friends and matured in a way that made her realize everything she did lose out on in high school. I can tell you right now if she had not split with you now it was bound to happen one day.
She is not a bad person for dating someone after telling you she wanted to be single. At this point its not your business what she does. She is living life. What if she is the one telling him what he wants to hear to get what she wants from him? Don't make him out to be a bad buy just because she chose to date him. That was her choice. If she wasn't ready she could have said no. For all you know he never knew about you when he asked her out. You can feel jealous all you want be this guy isn't the blame for anything. You need to realize that.
I wish you luck. Its hard. As someone said it is like a death. But you still have the chance to come alive again!
One more thought. I don't think she instantly changed. I think she matured and grew a bit. Dating a 14 year old girl is not like dating a 21 year old. Look back and I am sure you can see how you both have evolved.
If anything I say good for her for being strong enough to make the choice. She didn't stay put and have doubts the rest of her life and marry and have kids because she was to afraid to walk away. She grew and felt it was time. Not that there is better out there but that she knew what she needed.
Everyone is correct. Im sure she was trying, but I just had turned a blind eye because we both were doing the same old routines. It is very obvious how she matured. The part that still gets me is that only a month and a half ago SHE was pressuring me into buying a house. That's right, a house! I think that maybe she realized she was pushing this too quickly, and maybe she scaared herself. So she obviously changed very quickly, and that doesn't add up to me. And I figured that since we had been together for so long, the mature thing would have been to take the relationship farther. But like you said, being together so long made us both miss out and we both matured. The part that hurts is that she had been thinking about this for a month or longer, and kept all her emotion inside, and never came to me. It also hurts that she told me she didn't want a relationship with anybody, but she is in another one so soon, rebound or not. But, she was at a breaking point with everything, so she did the right thing. And I'm glad that she did it now, and got it over with. Ill be sticking to the NC rules, I have nothing else to say to her. Its actually getting easier already. Ive been thinking of all the things that bothered me with her, and that's helping to ease my mind also.Quote:
Originally Posted by 88sunflower
I think she cheated on you with him, before you broke up. She felt the grass was greener on the other side. She jumped, and now we know what will happen. The guy just wants sex and that's it. She will be crying to you in a few months. Just wait, if you want, but that's up to you. I think you could get some very good help on this site. I know it sounds bad, but read some about breakups and how the girls go back after a few months. This happens a lot in collage.
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/
Does anybody else think this is a possibility? I have a hard time believing this for a few reasons: she never acted funny, and she said that she met him after we broke up. But then again, I can't really believe anything she says. I know that the dude most likely wants sex, and I'm sure he will get what he wants and will leave after a few months. Even though the breakup was her decision, and she was at a breaking point, and everything else, does anybody else think that she will come back in a few months? Not that I will ever take her back now, does anybody else think she cheated and will come back?Quote:
Originally Posted by wolf359
Why do you need to know if she is coming back?
Its not that I am anticipating it or wanting her to come back, it was just a question based on what the previous poster said.Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeistough75
I don't think so. She may have met him and was attracted to him, there is nothing wrong with being attracted to someone. She broke up with you, that was the right thing for her to do, for her.Quote:
Originally Posted by rsa0905
I can understand her wanting out. She has been with you since she was 14. She is seeing there is another world out there and other people and she wants to experience it.
If this guy wants her just for sex (assuming she gives it to him) then she will have experienced something and learned from it. That's kind of what life is about. You live and learn.
Instead of looking for things to run her in the ground, you might want to drop all if this and get on with your life as well.
She has grown up and left you behind. That happens quite often with relationships that start with young teens.
If she cheated and if she is coming back to you doesn't really matter now. Pesonally I don't think she cheated. She is probably getting out more like you said and someone caught her interest. So be it. Stay with NC and stop wondering all the "what ifs". Thinking on all those are just going to run you down.
So I have some major news. Apparently my ex is pregnant now. Apparently she is 5 weeks along, and we were still together 5 weeks ago. She seems to think that the baby is her new bfs. Which if that is the case, she was cheating on me 5 weeks ago.
Here's my delimma. We had sex without condoms, and I never pulled out because she was on the pill. We did it like that for years. So is it possible that it could even be his that quickly? I mean, we were still having sex right up until we broke up. It's a 50/50 chance right now, and I'm going to venture to say she doesn't know exactly who the daddy is. If she quit taking the pill right after we broke up, could she have gotten pregnant that fast?
You don't need to quit taking the pill to get pregnant. You can get pregnant on the pill. Simple as that.
Yes you can be pregnant that fast because I was. I went off my pill the middle of October and was pregnant so after. Less then two months later.
It's not likely that she got pregnant what a day after she got of the pill?
I don't know, but people can sure make a mess of their lives.
Is she sure she is pregnant?
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