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-   -   Should I move on my girlfriends too selfish (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=473206)

  • Jun 14, 2010, 04:13 PM
    talaniman

    Quote:

    I was getting affection but nothing physical. I was real upset because I haven't pressured her at all and when we were all kissy huggy I wanted more
    Re think your idea of no pressure. It sucks, why even lock lips if you can't control YOURSELF?

    Quote:

    One more thing I've met a new girl that real sweet an kind I told her my situation and she's cool we've hung out a few times but I still love my old girl.
    So why are you hanging around the new girl if you love the old one? We use to call that LUST, what do they call it now?
  • Jun 14, 2010, 04:17 PM
    Homegirl 50

    Leave your old girl friend alone. She still does not know what she wants.
    Don't mess with a new girl until you are over the old one. It's not fair to her and it's tacky.
  • Jun 15, 2010, 03:03 AM
    Dornraben
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Stanghi02 View Post
    One more thing I've met a new girl that real sweet an kind I told her my situation and she's cool we've hung out a few times but I still love my old girl.
    Any advice?

    Sounds to me as though you've already started distancing yourself from your old g/f. Either that or you're - perhaps subconsciously - using the new one to rebound (emotionally if not physically).

    You probably need to back off from the whole thing and give yourself time to process what you really feel - and want.

    If you do want to make another go of it with your old g/f, don't rush back into her arms. You need to take it very slowly and rebuild trust. No dispect to your old g/f, but she may just be saying these things because she's afraid of losing you. Keeping some distance from her will show her that you're no longer her doormat, and will also protect you from getting hurt.
  • Jun 15, 2010, 03:17 AM
    mawtom

    Would you want this selfish woman to be the mother of your children and raise them to become just like her? You are a giver. Find someone who appreciates that quality in you.
  • Jun 15, 2010, 04:49 AM
    talaniman

    You sound like a frustrated horn dog to me. They more you write, the more I think that way.
  • Jun 16, 2010, 05:58 AM
    Stanghi02

    No I'm not a horn dog,LOL!
    So I should distance myself from her?
    It's like, now since I've started doing a bunch of things without her
    Not taking all her phone calls or texting her back right away she's been real sweet.

    I really want to be with her but I want her to continue to treat me the way she's treating me now. Last weekend we went out to dinner with some of her friend and later that night she received a messages from one of her friends say " he's a very handsome respectful sweet guy, you done a great job".

    I been getting out a good bit staying busy meeting new people. When we are spending time together I don't give her all my attention an I texted on my phone. Honestly, I pretend as if I don't care even though that's not the case. It's just when I act that way she's all over me wanting to hold hands get jealous an affectionate. I know this sound crazy but I love it.

    I'm wondering if I should continue to be this way or will my action eventually push her away? I don't have a problem with being this way as long as I get this same treatment from her.
  • Jun 16, 2010, 06:05 AM
    mawtom

    The games people play. Sigh! Why bother. Where is your pride?
  • Jun 16, 2010, 06:17 AM
    talaniman

    Thanks for proving you're a horn dog, trying to get some, and you're a jerk for playing mind games with a very young female, and a more mature one would have given you the boot.

    That you enjoy all this game playing is a true testament of your own maturity and character and no self respecting female would be bothered by your feeble self serving attempts to get attention from this girl, or get in her pants.

    Before you get you underwear in a bunch what advice would you give a guy if he was treating your sister this way? You are ego driven, and needy for attention, and your little head is telling your big head what to do. You are not trying to build something, but get what you want from this situation at the expense of another, and frankly acting like an immature little prick!

    Are you getting the idea I hate guys like you with a passion! You would be dead on the money.
  • Jun 16, 2010, 07:40 AM
    Homegirl 50

    You need to stop playing games is what you need to do.
    You are still hung up on this girl. Play games and you are no better than she is.
  • Jun 16, 2010, 03:47 PM
    Stanghi02

    I'm not playing games An I listened to the advice that was given to me
    Now sense she's treating me right I want to keep it that way. What's wrong with wanting attention from my girlfriend?

    That's why I'm here to get help an advice now since Im getting the attention everybody calling me names. What should I do let her go or have another serious talk with an let her know how I feel about the way she's treating me now. I will let the other girl know that I love my old girlfriend an I'm going to try and make it work?

    Let me know don't get upset with me I'm just loving the attention I'm getting from her an don't want it to change.
  • Jun 16, 2010, 03:57 PM
    Homegirl 50

    You should not pretend or try and be someone other than who you are to get attention from a girl. As bad a she treated you, she is who she is. If this works for you, go for it. If she gets nasty again and she will when she gets tired of you, leave her tail alone. I think right now you are a diversion for her.
    There is nothing wrong with you, you are just hooked on a drama queen and a user.

    Definitely leave the other girl alone until you get your head on straight.
  • Jun 18, 2010, 12:35 AM
    Stanghi02

    Your so right she's back to her old ways. I paid $340 yesterday so her A/C can be fixed, then I asked her if she could bring me some lunch to work because I was having a very busy day
    I mean she said she didn't have any money yet she just got paid and bragging about these diamond earring she bought.

    I was on my way home so I called her an ask if she could take a sec turn to the game and tell me the score. She said OK and held the phone for about three minutes. I asked what's the score she said I'm gon check it when my TV show goes off. I mean it was only going to take five sec to check. Game seven of the finals.

    I can't get nothing from her I feel like a stupid sucker can't sleep can't work
    I'm tired of feeling used an I know it's my fault.
  • Jun 18, 2010, 02:56 AM
    chihiro

    you're wasting your time on her. You deserve better than her ^_^
  • Jun 18, 2010, 07:39 AM
    Homegirl 50
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Stanghi02 View Post
    I'm tired of feeling used an I know it's my fault.

    Good breakthrough you just had. Now leave this woman alone.
    The first time you're a victim, after you know the drill, you're a volunteer.
    Stop volunteering to be treated poorly.
    No more phone calls texts, nothing. Leave her alone.
  • Jun 20, 2010, 11:24 PM
    SimpleguyJoe

    Haha it's probably not worth writing but you really should try to apply the advice you have been given here. To be honest you're only going to get the same 2-3 variations of the same answer as well because there is really only one thing you can do...

    Leave her! My rule has always been unless the other is moving through a financial low then never spend more than 50% over the dollar amount of what you're receiving. If you spend 350 on her then I wouldn't give her a cent until she did something pretty special for me. But hey man it's your money, do with it whatever you wish.

    But you're the one making yourself look like the fool, she is probably always going to go back to the way she is, because that is the way she is. You can't change her or ask her to change as a circumstance of your relationship. She has to choose it for herself.

    Also you may not think you're playing games but your playing a classic. It's been known forever and a day that when you pull attention and kindness away from your partner they seem to triple theirs because they think something is wrong, When in fact you're just being a $#ck.

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