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Originally Posted by Chris0107

Ok missed call tonight at 12:06 AM! What the heck??? Why is he doing this??????? I ignored.


Oh and no message.

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You know, if you block his calls you won't even have to think about ignoring or missing calls or even the possibility of a message left.

As Tal said, he is just trying to get attention. Give yours to more worthy subjects than him. It will aid in your own healing.

Thanks guys. Talaniman you're right. He wasn't there when I needed him to be and desperately wanted to talk to him. Then I was traumatized and depressed and 2 weeks later he decides to start contacting me with bizarre text messages and now even a phone call? I was PRAYING and hoping for him to contact me, I wanted this. Now that he has, I kind of feel like too late buddy. Also Before I would have went back to him, now that I have had no contact and time think, How could I ever trust him again? He abandoned me. I cannot ever go back.

Cat, I did delete his number out of my phone completely, but I do recognize his number. I didn't know that you could block phone numbers? Is this something the phone company does?

I am proud of myself for being strong enough to ignore. To be honest, as bad as this sounds, this does give me gratification. He is contacting, I am ignoring, and now he knows what it feels like. To be ignored and feel uncared about. I feel like it will be much easier to move on now. Obviously he must regret what he did to some extent, or he wouldn't bother to contact me at all.

I thank you all so much. If I didn't discover this board I would have never knew what the hell no contact was about or even used it. I probably would have still be trying to call him and be texting him even now, and would being feeling worse right now and more rejected. Instead, the roles are reversed, He is contacting me and I am now ignoring him, I feel much so much better and he knows he didn't break me. Case if he had, I would be rushing to talk to him and he knows that. YOU guys are saved me so much future grief. Thank you soooooooo much.

The next guy has to be better right? Just heal properly first and be ready for a healthy loving relationship!!

Cheers. :)

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Originally Posted by Chris0107

Cat, I did delete his number out of my phone completely, but I do recognize his number. I didn't know that you could block phone numbers? Is this something the phone company does?

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Check with your phone company. They should have information on blocking numbers where you live.

I am glad you are taking back your life. Good luck. :)

Hi Guys, I have a question. I have had nc the last few weeks, just now I had a missed call from him. He left a message saying he was wondering if he left anything at my house and that he's missing a Hurley belt, and to let him know if he left it there. That was it. He sounded very matter of fact, kind of cold but pleasant. Thoughts? Should I just text and say no? I haven't seen it. I do think it's really the only reason he's calling.

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Originally Posted by Chris0107

Should I just text and say no?

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By not answering his text you are saying NO ;)

Don't get sucked back into the drama , he doesn't deserve your attention.

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Originally Posted by Chris0107

Should I just text and say no? I haven't seen it. I do think it's really the only reason hes calling.

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It doesn't matter if he has any other reasons for getting in touch. You have a great reason not to get in touch with him-setting back your healing. Let him figure out that if you don't get in touch with him you haven't seen it. If you later find it, give it to a friend to give to him. You keep NC and your sanity.

Thanks guys guess you're right, he sounded fine like he just wanted his belt, not to chit chat or anything. Was weird to hear his voice again I must admit. Its still hard doing this.

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Originally Posted by Chris0107

Was weird to hear his voice again I must admit.

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See , even this has piquéd your interest a bit , that's why NC and keeping it is so important.

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Originally Posted by Chris0107

Its still hard doing this.

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Agreed , but it does get easier the longer it goes. And the eventual outcome of being able to be yourself again and going on to find a healthy relationship in the future makes it all worthwhile.

Ok I'm buzzed please tell me not to text him back, before I do something o regret!!

Do not text him back you have came so far already. He is the one standing out in the rain now wondering why after all those needy messages you left him you won't answer his calls or texts. Leave it at that!

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Originally Posted by Chris0107

Ok I'm buzzed please tell me not to text him back, before I do something o regret! !!

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Do not text him back, or I will be very, very angry with you and will not bake you any cupcakes nor will I put sprinkles on them.

Hi Chris,

Are things any better fot you? I have been reading through the comments and I am too going through the same thing, I try my hardest no to contact my ex all day hoping that if I leave it for a day he will come back but he doesn't.

I get annoyed that I have to keep myself busy, doing things I don't really want to like jogging but I just do it anyway to get out the house!

I no how you feel and it is horrible, everything remindes you of them, even when you listen to the radio.

My ex has cheated on me and everything and still to this day I would have him back at the click of the fingers, I know I don't think this now but I'm sure one day we will both look back babe and think what were we doing!

(even though that is so hard for me to believe at this moment in time)
What doesn't Kill you makes you stronger!

Do you think that he has meet some one else?

I feel like I'm going round in a big circle becase too like you the whole no contact thing is a big issue for me.

I'm going out with my friend tonight and I'm leaving my phone at home, that is the only way I will not contact him, but then I'll be hoping that there will be a missed call or text message on it when I get back and there prob won't be so I'll be dissapointed but if I take it then I'll give in, just seems like a loose loose situation to me.

Also I think, if I leave him and not contact him will he think... "oh why is she not ringing me or texting me she normally is" OR will he think "thank god she has got the point"

In my head I'm hoping it's the first one but the reason I'm scared to loose contact is because I'm scared of him drifting away from me altogether!

Do you feel like that babe? Xxx

Hi luvy, how long has it been since your split and nc? He has had made contact with me and I never thought he would, once to aplogize and the other asking for a belt he thought he left over. I have chosen to ignore these because the contact he's made has not been the kind I wanted. We haven't spoke in almost 3 weeks and I'm slowly feeling better but I still think about him 24 7. You are smart to leave your phone home especially if you plan to drink! The drunk dial is humiliating! I say even if he does contact you don't respond. You will seem more desirable if he thinks you're moving on, from what I have read. I decided after what my ex did to me the way he left, it was best I try to get over him but it's a struggle! I wouldn't be able to trust him any way ever again but it doesn't matter cause he doesn't want me back, at least that I'm aware of. I know it hurts but I think you should let this Guy go. I was with a cheater for 7 years before this last relationship and that was pure hell. You will never trust him even if you were to get back together.

Hi Chris, we have been split for like 3 weeks but its only been 1 day since we had no contact. (because i was always chasing)
and to be honest he would still call mee sometimes to.

but yesterday, i did not text him all day and all night then at 10:50 he text me just sayin "wot u doin" nothin more or less!
i haven't replied, deep down i want to but i also want him to miss me, he asks me to leave him and he doesn't want anything to do with me, yet when i do he contacts me.
and deep down inside i have built my hopes up and i think the longer i leav it the more he will miss me and want me back! Well at least that is what im hoping for.

But hey at least you live in Las Vegas! how old are you if you dont mind me asking x

I am 28 years old. How about yourself?

Keep not contacting him. The first week of no contact for me was the worst, it gets easier, though I am only on week 3 myself and still struggle. Yes he will miss you and he will probably call cause he is curious. Don't let him know what you're doing, its none of his business. He said he didn't want you, so make him see what its like with you gone.

I think you can do better than him anyway! Go have fun with friends!

Hi Chris. I have just spent the last half hour reading your thread and I am very proud of you. My guy left last Saturday after 6 months together and all that you have written could I have been written my me. I too have had absolutely no closure, no answers and its killing me. I only started on the NC Thursday and you have given me belief that I can be strong and I can get over this. I am still at the stage of dragging myself out of bed to try to do my job, then its straight to the pub for 3 hours then I'm home in bed for 7pm crying and knowing I'm going to dream of him only to do the same tomorrow. It's a nightmare. This is my first weekend without him and I don't know what to do. Its 11.17am UK and I'm still in bed. Guess it will be the pub again this afternoon just to numb the pain. You know what, they don't deserve our love if they think this sort of behavious is acceptable. Easy to write - harder to believe and act on. Keep up the good work and let me know how you're doing.

Hi Guys

Update. So tonight I went out with a girl friend and received a text message from him at around 11:30 pm saying "How are you?" I did NOT respond. I am in shock he is asking me this. The last call was a message saying he can't find his belt and to let him know if I have it, not asking or saying anything about me. Now he is saying "how are you"? This no contact is a very powerful thing. I did not believe it would make someone want to call. But it does. And I hoped and prayed for it to work, not to heal me like everyone says, but so that I could talk to him. I can't believe I was strong enough to ignore him after wanting him to call so badly. It really is amazing. I really wonder why he continues to try and contact me, even though I have ignored all his attempts? Thoughts? Sorry, it still interests me and I like knowing possible theories.

Ginger-I am sorry you are going through this, it is the worst. I still love and miss him so much, but you are right they don't deserve our love. Anyone who can hurt someone in that fashion is not a man, and I hope you try to pull it together and realize he is not worth your tears and depression. I know it's easier said than done, I could not function for several days after he did this to me. Once he started contacting me I snapped out of it and thought, how dare you contact me after what you did and think I will reply. He was NOT deserving of me to respond. If your ex does contact you I hope you will be strong and ignore like I did, and show him he does not have that power and control over you. I am so happy my story gives you hope, that's wonderful. And remember you aren't alone. I know your pain and I still have pain and struggle everyday, just be strong.

Chris, I've been following this thread, but this morning I read your very first post and then the newest one. What a difference! You have closure because you are giving yourself closure. You have taken back your power and are in control of the situation. I am so proud of you!

Thanks wondergirl! If it wasn't for all the advice I received here and the sticky's, I would still be clueless. I think I have come far in the last few weeks and have surprised myself. I felt so weak and vulnerable, now I feel like I am pulling myself together more each day. It will be a while before I am over him, cause I am not yet. I will continue to ignore any further contact he might make with me. Thanks all of you. I will update if anything else should happen, but I have a feeling it won't :-)