I take it taking our dog out if she does want to would be one of the worst things I could do as well?

Whatever she says about the future is moot,because you have to face your life in the here and now.

Your contacting her is what many have done and many will do,but as you have discovered, that it only adds to the confusion,the agony and the pain.

Let go of the false hope,stick to the original contact i.e. at work and concentrate on getting yourself back on track.

OK amicon I appreciate the advice... the future is moot. I have a question though... we both know I'm done at this store a week Tuesday and both of us but me especially have left the doors open for contact after I quit, whether to see her new place, take the dog out, whatever. Should I make it clear before my last shift that maybe we shouldn't speak or see each other, or should I just wait and see if she even tries to contact me, than ignore it if she does? I don't like the idea of ignoring her though after saying I am open to a friendship...

I would say thank you but no thank you,meaning don't see her or walk the dog.
Don't make it harder than it has to be.

You are broken up,a friendship is not possible at least not until you are over her.

You know, this site always makes me think more clearly... I love you guys haha. Thanks amicon, I feel better and a little bit wiser now. As I said 1 1/2 weeks till no contact so I'm sure ill be back plenty of times!

Good!:-)
This site is awesome,and its great being here.
Come back whenever you need to.

Have a good Saturday,its evening here, so I'm signing off now.
Take care.

Hey original! I did that with my ex man, I did no contact thinking that it would bring her back to me, in reality I was just putting myself in false hope. Everyday I would miss her and keep looking at the phone every second. Then One day she keeps txting and txting saying she want to talk to me. So we did and she said that she wants to work things out and she wants us to be together again. I thought that was good till one day I just realized that even though we do end up being together would it even make any difference, my heart loves the idea of us being back together, but my mind knows that I would only be in pain once again. I mean if she can break it off, she can do it again. So I just started ignoring her, she text got mad, but I didn't give in. Now I feel way better no contacting her then us being in contact. I did save myself a big future heart ache. Every here says once is broken there is no reason of fixing it cause it won't be the same. They are right, I know I am better off without her in my life. You deserve someone special and you need to tell yourself that, to settle for less man.people here knows what they are talking about. I still miss her here and there but not as bad as before. Keep your head up and once your ready go out and talk to people. Lates and hope things goes well for you.

Hey guys, show meurmoves it is awesome to hear from you man! I tried to PM you but it said you have disallowed private messaging, I could use a good ear sometimes so if you don't mind would you fix it so we can help each other out? I'm going to need it...
So officially one week until NC starts, in the meantime I have just trying to be a good friend to her and stuff at work, I showed up early one day to give her a bit of a break and go home early, cracking jokes, just trying to be the nice guy that I am. I know you guys will say these things are big mistakes, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want her back. Every time I come here, smell her perfume, see her, I can't help but crack. Who knows, maybe she will miss me once I'm gone? I find it so hard to believe that such a sweet caring girl could just let go of 3 years so easily... but I'm also logical enough to know this is false hope. In the battle of heart vs brain though, the heart is winning right now. I just can't help it, I really hope things start getting easier next week. I'm going to need my own NC calendar :(

They will,and then your heart can go on a brake(no pun intended) and let your brain take over.

When you can allow yourself to accept that it is over,false hope and' the what ifs' will fade.

I cannot wait for the what Ifs and my feelings for her to subside, I'm so glad I put my 2 weeks in when I did because it's like I hot a reset button on my feelings almost every night when I see her. She is so hard to read too, like I'm 99.9% sure we aren't ever going to get back together, but than she asks me of I want to walk the dog (this was this past weekend) but than she never followed through on it. I asked tonight since it's supposed to be a beautiful weekend weather wise, if we could do it than. She said she would be busy because she's moving to a different apartment this weekend. When I completely broke down last week and wrote what I would call an essay lol to her through Facebook, she said and I quote: "I don't know how I'll feel in the future, I'm afraid if we got back together right now it would go back to the way it was. I do want to be friends tho". It's like she has closed the door on me, but left it open just a sliver. Now, I'm no idiot. I know the break up was pretty much my fault, I had developed trust issues for no apparent reason the past 6 months, and I didn't give her the space she needed. Other than my slip up with Facebook last week, and seeing her at work, I have given her all the space in the world. And I'm still really confused on how to handle my last shift... I asked her if it would be OK to say thank you to her parents for all their help/support the past few years, but as far as she goes, I'm at a loss. My friends have suggested writing a letter, getting everything off my chest one last time, but everything I needed to say I said in that FB message, so it would be like beating a dead horse. I'm thinking I'll ask for one last hug, and tell her to take care. I also have been told to play it like I don't care at all lol and just be over happy that it's my last shift there... so I ask you fellow amhd'ers, what would you do? All thoughts/advice appreciated.

Hey original I just fixed my pm hope it works. Just an advice, the more you talk to her the more pain you will feel, Have you realized when you 2 are talking you feel good and happy, but then once you are alone again you feel the pain even worst and you feel so confused.

I know every time I talk to my ex I feel good like everything is going to be the way it was, but that was just all my emotion talking, its like a drug you know its bad for you but you just got to have the last high. Its time to make yourself happy, and you deserve to be happy man. Believe me all the thought that you had I had it to, I was hoping and wishing so hard that if I do no contact she will start missing me and wanting us back, but it wasn't helping me, it only made it worst, everyday I would be thinking the what if's and I didn't really gave my heart the proper way of healing.

You do No Contact not for her but for you to move on. The more you think about the what ifs the more pain you are allowing for yourself in the future.

PM me anytime bro I know how you feel cause I'm going through one right now.

The sooner I had accepted the fact that I don't want the relationship any longer and that there is no chance of us getting back together the faster I started healing. One more thing, When I was talking to my ex she said she wants to take things slow and for us to keep talking, people here said here in the website, Me being there for her, keeping in contact, I'm actually helping her get over me faster. I didn't realized why at first but now I finally know why they said that. Ignore her, the more you wait the more your postponing your healing process.

Hey man good to hear from you! I'm posting from why iPhone at work, but I will pm you with more in depth details when I get home in front of the PC. Any thoughts on how to handle the last shift? (from my last post). And how's your situation going? Did your ex ever break NC?


And by the way, that whole "talking to them being like a high" thing? Totally true. Every time we talk at work, or share a laugh, I feel ecstatic lol. Than she says bye, goes home, I'm here all alone, and back at step one. Every night. That was one hell of an analogy my friend.

Yea bro just keep thinking on how wonderful your life is going to be now. That's how I get through my days, it wasn't easy at first but it does later. Yea man my ex did break the NC, a few min ago she txted me saying, "its funny how you say you love me but do nothing to prove it well have a nice life and iam done waiting goodbye glen now all we have are memories goodbye:)" No lie bro she sent that to me like twice, when I got that text I wanted to text her back so bad but I know it won't do good, I will be back in step 1. I am starting to love my single life again, I'm starting to enjoy every min I have alone, and that took awhile to get used to. I know its killing her at this moment that I'm not giving in her BS. Do the same man, even though you 2 do get back together it won't be the same, I ask many people and they said that when they did got back it wasn't the same and the person that ended it in the beginning they did the second times. It was broken for a reason, so its not worth fixing. If you love someone you will endure all the problems and the pain to get the relationship back to where it was, not break up and see what happens that's not love.

I feel for you man, like what goes through her head to dump you, than come back and say " you said you will always love me" and that bs. Women eh? On my way home from work though. Will post again in a bit

I know dude its stupid. I mean if she wanted to be with me really bad why didn't she stay and fix the issues instead of leaving it. Drive safe bro.

So I have a game plan... time to take all of your advice

Be polite, and unavailable at work. I will feel weird doing it, because we broke up due to my screwing up, but I guess its time to be selfish and not talk to her anymore than I have to. No chit chat, nothing.

On my last shift, say thank you to her parents when they pick her up for all their support over the years... they helped me out with a lot of things so it's the least I can do. And as for "d", say take care, and tell her I need NC right away. That avoids any text messaging, or Facebook problems down the line. Hopefully she respects this after all this talk of being friends and whatever, you guys are right, won't work, can't work

Polite,and busy is good.

As for her parents-will you run into them briefly outside the shop?
Can you handle a conversation with them?

That's up to you of course but I would proceed with caution on that one.

@amicon... I see her parents when they pick her up from work. I'm pretty sure I can handle it... I would feel worse I think if I didn't do it as they did do a lot for both of us.

So a minor update, she asked why I was so quiet at work tonight so I said that I had been thinking, and that after my last shift (7 days to the hour exactly) that we cannot have any contact. I said seeing her every night has me holding onto false hope and I can't look at her as just a friend. This didn't seem to phase her. I asked if she understood and she said yes, and that's pretty much it... shows what I'm worth after 3 years I guess. Oh well, at least she knows why the next week will be awkward. I feel really crappy right now, maybe I should have waited, but I feel like I can get stronger from here on out. I'm slowly accepting that it wasn't meant to be, and I need to move on. Hopefully I can be strong the next week.

Wow guys, I'm at work right now and I'm losing my mind! I have sat in this chair doing nothing but re-reading old threads trying to keep myself strong. I feel like I made a huge mistake not waiting until next Tuesday to say that. I may be over analyzing (guilty of this through out my life) and I feel really down and depressed about my current position in life. I feel like I have nothing going for me at all. I'm 22 years old, I can't drive and don't own a vehicle, I live in a small Canadian hick town lol with nothing to do. I work crappy jobs, don't make a whole lot... like no wonder it's not a big deal to leave me. Mind you, this girl is 19 this year, she has only 8 high school credits (you need 30 to graduate in Canada), she owns a car and drives though, so at least she has that going for her. I have 28 credits and currently am taking correspondance courses to get those 2 credits, and am in the middle of applying to the Canadian forces. Like me and this girl held each other back from so much, and I really regret our lack of progression together. I find myself filled with nothing but regret now:(

What's said and done is said and done-so don't beat yourself up over your telling her your nc plans.

Make a plan for your future,get that driving licence,buy a car,get the credits you need etc.