Originally Posted by
Ths1113
wow, MyBrainIsDrug. Some of the things you've expressed in this thread are literally EXACTLY how i've been feeling lately. Although I am younger than you and my ex and I have only dated once, for a year. Our relationship was great, amazing, on some days, and painful and frustrating on many many others. We clung to each other even though we were so obviously not suited for each other. Texting almost constantly and taking every single opportunity to see each other, obsessively.
Our issue was communication. We simply weren't made for each other. We would fight over the silliest things. They would get blown way out of proportion until neither of us could say anything, for our own separate reasons.
What struck me about your initial post was that our relationship too got to a point where we would just "walk away" in fights. We would try to put them away somewhere after they had reached a certain stalemate, walk away, and focus on the love we had for each other instead. This method failed miserably. Same idea. Neither of us really wanted the other to walk away, so that would produce another fight.
Anyways he broke up with me a month or so ago and I find myself absolutely obsessing over our relationship. My brain knows this is best for me; our relationship was so frustrating for the both of us, it wasn't meant to be, blah blah blah. But my heart. My heart seems to control my thoughts more than my reason.
He's the first thing I think about when I wake up, the last fantasy I have as I fall asleep at night. And every time I let my mind wander just for a moment during the day, it turns to him.
All I can say is the best days I've had have been ones where I literally don't allow my thoughts to stray for more than a minute. As soon as they try to lose me in happy memories of him, or agonizing over every second of every fight we ever had, I force myself to get up from whatever I'm doing and find something else. Personally, I tend to turn to the people around me for support. Listening to a friend talk about her mom's party or something is sufficient distraction. Or a really dramatic tv show or movie. Or maybe some "break-up" type music. Something with catchy lyrics about moving on with your life that you can run to. Whatever works for you.
I don't know how long this process is. I know it's different for everyone. But I don't want to waste my life brooding over what could have been, and you shouldn't either. Remember the things that make you happy, the things that made you you before you even met her.
this is a bit cheesy, but in my post break-up devastation I was talking to a friend, and I remember saying, "My world is upside down."
She, being incredibly insightful and a little poetic, replied, "Sometimes that's a good thing. You find all the little things you hid away deep inside your pockets."
now, you have time for your family. you have time for your friends. you can be YOU.
I know this has been a lot of rambling but I hope you find it a little helpful or comforting. I know when I posted on this site a few days ago, every word of response I got made me feel a little better.