That isn't going to happen. But you realizing why may happen.

You can wish & pray all you want, but at some level you have to take responsibility for now & your past. Finally own up, do some serious soul searching.

What is the deal with your other 4 kids, how did that come about?

You got to look to things that do work in your life. And the ones that don't & why.

This is your life. You have made it this way with your decisions.

Never too late to change.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by friend4u178

Because you allow it , and if you don't make a stand and stop putting up with it she'll continue to do so.

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That definitely makes sense. But how do I go about that? And, do you think it will make a difference in how she treats me, or maybe take the relationship more seriously?

Stop worrying about her. Only you.

Did you forget to read the last few posts?

What relationship?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by darkdays

That definitely makes sense. But how do I go about that? And, do you think it will make a difference in how she treats me, or maybe take the relationship more seriously?

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You don't put up with the cr*p simple as that , if she can't handle it bad luck. It's either that or you make a choice to put up with it , but then you can't complain about it.

Sorry Bud but sometimes people are just not meant to be together , and if she wants to play with your emotions all the time that's not fair nor healthy , and certainly not something I'd put up with.

Oh. Yeah you forgot tell us the deal with your other 4 kids.

The mom(s)?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by vanheart

That aint gonna happen. But you realizing why may happen.

You can wish & pray all you want, but at some level you have to take responsibility for now & your past. Finally own up, do some serious soul searching.

What is the deal with your other 4 kids, how did that come about?

You gotta look to things that do work in your life. And the ones that dont & why.

This is your life. You have made it this way with your decisions.

Never too late to change.

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I agree with what you are saying, but I always tried to make it right and have a family with her and our child, as I did with my ex-wife, which I have three kids to. My ex-wife and I never played any games with each other, so I really don't know much about them. My ex-wife and I just simply didn't love each other and got married only because we thought it was the right thing to do after having our first child. We realized a few years ago, or more so she did, that we couldn't really be happy that way for the long haul. I didn't really want to split up, but I understood and I knew I couldn't give her what she wanted. She is now happy with someone who does love her the way she wanted, and I am very happy for her.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by vanheart

Oh. yeah you forgot tell us the deal with your other 4 kids.

The mom(s)?

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One with the on and off girlfriend, three with the ex-wife.
Hence, four kids.

Sorry to hear how kids become the products of unhealthy relationships.

Thanks, just wanted to know.

Im another product.

Sometimes people repeat the same mistakes, and don't even know why.

Just don't make another mistake. Like I said before, make sure that this son doesn't "slip away".

Screw her.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by friend4u178

You don't put up with the cr*p simple as that , if she can't handle it bad luck. It's either that or you make a choice to put up with it , but then you can't complain about it.

Sorry Bud but sometimes people are just not meant to be together , and if she wants to play with your emotions all the time that's not fair nor healthy , and certainly not something I'd put up with.

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Then why does she say she loves me so much any other time? How do I get her from playing the games to giving a real relationship? Or is she just too far gone to do that? Look, I don't know how to deal with things like this, I don't understand them. I've never had to go through any of this before her, and I've never been that way myself or thought in those ways. What's her big benefit of playing all these games when all it does is keeps us from building an actual relationship and a life together?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by vanheart

Sorry to hear how kids become the products of unhealthy relationships.

Thanks, just wanted to know.

Im another product.

Sometimes people repeat the same mistakes, and dont even know why.

Just dont make another mistake. Like I said before, make sure that this son doesnt "slip away".

Screw her.

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Well I never wanted it that way for the kids. I wanted to raise them in a family.

Dude, read you initial post.

She sucks.

The point is what are you hanging on? Those are the questions you need to be asking. Not the ones about her. I can't answers those. She's not here.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by darkdays

One with the on and off girlfriend, three with the ex-wife.
Hence, four kids.

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You know dark days, I think I would be projecting some of this energy to have a better relationship with your children. I can't believe you care more about this woman (with questionable morals) than you do your children.

Those children DID NOT ask to be brought into this messed up world where daddiys sleeping with his girlfriend and has another child. All you have griped about throughout all these post has been the messed up piece of tail you are after. You are like a dog in heat and all I can say is God help your children. I'm through!

Maybe you are just good at having kids not relationships.

Sounds like you aren't very responsible, even though your intentions in you head may feel otherwise. But there's apologizing and then there's true actions.

Don't be a victim anymore.

Her actions certainly don't show that she loves you , she may say so but words are cheap. Sounds to me that your willing but she isn't.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by vanheart

Dude, read you initial post.

She sucks.

The point is what are you hanging on? Those are the questions you need to be asking. Not the ones about her. I can't answers those. Shes not here.

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I just don't know why nothing works out. Not only her, but getting another job, just everything. Im trying not to whine so much, and I guess Im just trying to find the answers. I try my butt off with her, and it fails, I try like hell to get another job, but nothing comes through.
I don't know, I guess I can't expect anyone else to have the answers to my problems. I guess Im just seeing if others have gone through some of these things and how they handled it.

How's about some therapy? Contact one.
Figure out why you are continuing on this path.

Before you bring another kid in.


All of your answers are inside. Find them.

You aren't listening at all. Or care to.

Maybe that's the root of your problems.

Have said my peace

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

You know dark days, I think I would be projecting some of this energy to have a better relationship with your children. I can't beleive you care more about this woman (with questionable morals) than you do your children.

Those children DID NOT ask to be brought into this messed up world where daddiys sleeping with his girlfriend and has another child. All you have griped about throughtout all these post has been the messed up piece of tail you are after. You are like a dog in heat and all I can say is God help your children. I'm through !!

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First off, I do have a great relationship with my kids, that's not the problem. Im trying to discuss problems, not things I don't have a problem with.
And where do you get off telling me I care more about this woman than I do my kids? Im glad your through!

Others think with their head.
You are a whiner and mmaybe that's why she left. Wake up and smell the coffee you big baby.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by friend4u178

Her actions certainly don't show that she loves you , she may say so but words are cheap. Sounds to me that your willing but she isn't.

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Then what is she doing then. And why does she do it?
These are the things I can't understand. If there's sombody out there for her that's so much better, than why does she waste her time playing her games with me
If you don't want to answer, don't worry about it. It seems Im getting some people upset on here asking these questions.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Others think with their head.
You are a whiner and mmaybe that's why she left. Wake up and smell the coffee you big baby.

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And that's your honest opinion? From everything so far, that's what you think it is?

Now, now, No name calling. Please.

Lets keep things about the issues. And I got to say KitKat may have hit a nerve.

That's why I recommend seeing someone. Bring those things out face to face & not on the web.

Plus I got to call yo on that, you say you hardly ever see your other 4 kids.

Geez, I just thought if you were me & I had 4 kids, a crappy girl that doesn't want me & a new one with her.

I better slap myself pretty hard in the face and wonder why.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by vanheart

Now, now, No name calling. Please.

Lets keep things about the issues. And I gotta say KitKat may have hit a nerve.

Thats why I recommend seeing someone. Bring those things out face to face & not on the web.

Plus I gotta call yo on that, you say you hardly ever see your other 4 kids.

Geez, I just thought if you were me & I had 4 kids, a crappy girl that doesnt want me & a new one with her.

I better slap myself pretty hard in the face and wonder why.

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No, I can handle Kit Kat's take on things if that's what he really thinks it is. I can respect real criticism and hard truth. If Im being a wuss about things and you guys think that's why this girl is playing me, and your being honest about it, I can accept that, and respect it.
I just think the comment about me caring more for her than my kids was uncalled for. I don't know where he got that BS from, but it sure wasn't from me or anything I said.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by darkdays

No, I can handle Kit Kat's take on things if that's what he really thinks it is. I can respect real criticism and hard truth. If Im being a wuss about things and you guys think that's why this girl is playing me, and your being honest about it, I can accept that, and respect it.
I just think the comment about me caring more for her than my kids was uncalled for. I don't know where he got that BS from, but it sure wasn't from me or anything I said.

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Hey don't sweat it , when you come to a public forum your going to get differing opinions , doesn't make anyone right or wrong but don't take anything to heart.

I think the bottom line is that she is definitely the core of a lot of your problems . The fact that she demeans you for her own self esteem issues is definitely a major Red Flag , amongst a lot of others.

I have no idea why she does it and I doubt anyone does except herself , I suppose you could sit down and have a real discussion about it and she'd probably still not tell you , so if it was me I'd be letting her go and then your luck might just start to turn in all the other areas of your life.