Ask Me Help Desk - Typical, but My ex and I broke up and now I am pretty confused.

So, I figured I would update.. I didn't do no contact.. I just couldn't.. probably not the healthy thing for everyone else out there who may read this.. I did let him do all the contacting and was nice and respectful of him and he knew the lines of communication were open but I kept everything short. And he startrted to call every night.. it hurt a lot most of the time

BUT

Now we're together again (: surpriiise.. haha- after a month and a week of agony I guess you could say. He called me over one night and I hung out with him because he said he had something to talk about.
He told me he wanted to be back together and he had never stopped loving me and he missed me terribly, and he just wanted to be happy.

Now that I have a second chance, I want things to be different, things are still a little awkward (for me only I think.. needing some advice in that area.. I think I'm going with time will help that) I want to show him as well as myself that I have changed. We had broken up over arguing and me being too hard on him and wanting "more" when he was already doing everything he could.. he was tired of it or didn't feel good enough. I also had a bit of a trust issue and I've already started trying to show him that I'm working on that because he went to a girl's birthday party without me and I showed him there were no worries from my side- he said it was just a friend thing and I said, I know- I trust you, and he told me he was so proud of me for that (trust will be the place that I need the most work.. I saw pictures from the party and he had his arm around the girl -kind of a harmless half hug, I'm sure strictly friendly but she was too close for my comfort.. my anxiety went through the roof, but I kept my mouth shut.) He also was looking for his time with his guy buddies that he rarely had time for anyway.

How can I make sure I keep myself in check and make sure things don't get out of hand again? I guess since we just got back together not even a week ago I'm still on pins and needles and have a lot of anxiety that something bad is going to happen again. Any advice on this feeling? Will it go away? I know he wouldn't have come back unless he knew it was what he wanted. He is treating me so well and I'm keeping phone calls and texts to a bare min to make sure he knows I want to give him his space and I need my own that way when we get togther in the evenings we have a lot to talk about and are missing each other.

... oh and one more obstacle... I am going to pharmacy school next year, it is only about an hour away from him, he said he was scared about it, because he knew he was going to miss me so bad.. any advice? I've had a long distance relationship before so I already know what to expect.

Things just feel so delicate (for me, maybe my trust again).. and I want them to be comfortable again. Am I right doing the whole, space thing so we can do our own things? We haven't talked about the break up since, we just both know what needs to be fixed..

Thank you all

Ulsenheimerak you will always feel like this, its so sad to hear when a person is in a relationship, you can't even communicate and express of how you feel without the person you love getting mad at you. When your with someone you love he/she should let you be the person you are, you are now being fake in his eyes, how long can that last till he sees the real you and he breaks it over again. Believe me it will hurt even more once you guys break up the second time, cause your really putting everything you have in this. If you can live with that then go ahead but you will be the one feeling the pain not him. Love is supposed to grow old together and share each others life. But in this case your only sharing his but his not sharing yours.

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How can I make sure I keep myself in check and make sure things don't get out of hand again? I guess since we just got back together not even a week ago I'm still on pins and needles and have a lot of anxiety that something bad is going to happen again.

How sad is that, you got to keep yourself in check and make sure things don't get out of hand. What are you his girlfriend or friend. How much anxiety can you take till you blow up.

He may treat you good at this moment but how long is it going to take till he ask for another break. When your in a relationship you work thing together not apart. You said he went to every party and had fun while you were at home waiting for his phone calls. You deserve someone that can love you for who you are not what they want you to become.

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I saw pictures from the party and he had his arm around the girl -kind of a harmless half hug, I'm sure strictly friendly but she was too close for my comfort.. my anxiety went through the roof, but I kept my mouth shut.)

you see how your making excuses for his actions, your like the girl that gets abuse by her boyfriend but keeps telling everyone that it was her fault bcause she got him mad. You said your anxiety went through the roof but you kept your mouth shut, how long is that going to last, for you to keep shutting your mouth, what if you accidentally open your mouth what then is he going to break it off cause you told him how you feel. You are letting him make the rules, and you should follow it or you go and hit the road. You have no say in this relationship what so ever, and its OK for him to make mistakes and you can't complain about anything, but you just go and keep yourself be a good girl that you are and don't do anything bad.

THE POWER IN THE RELATIONSHIP LIES WITH THE PERSON WHO NEEDS IT THE LEAST.

Give it some time... don't pressure him. If he loves you he will come back. Don't push... once you back off, this will actually pull him towards you. It is counter-intuitive but it works. I guarantee you, if you were to drop off the face of the earth, he would become pretty desperate to contact you. Be confident in yourself. He has to really see what he is missing... disappear for a while.