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-   -   What does a "break" mean? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=454157)

  • Mar 12, 2010, 10:34 AM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by 91s10blazer View Post
    yea it really sucks because I have been with her so long I stopped hanging out with my friends and lost contact with alot of them. She apparently decided she wanted to break up about a month ago, made new friends and even lined up a new guy before she decided to tell me. Women can be so cruel, The last time I saw her, she was at a local hangout shop with her friends trying to pick up guys. And she was wearing a shirt, flip flops, necklace, earings, braclet, purse and wallet I got her. She was even still wearing the promise ring I got her. I attempted to talk to her but she refused to talk to me without her friends being there. She said to my face she has no more feelings for me and she wants to be with and kiss other guys. I told her she just broke my heart and she just shrugged and went back to laughing with her friends. You are all right, and were right from the begining..



    I dont know how your feelings for someone can just end after two years. I honestly never really saw this comming, we had fun and were laughing and were happy the day before she did it.



    I'm so sorry sweetie. Please listen to me. I'm talking to you just as I have talked to my own kids. There are so many nice girls out there and you can meet her. This girl you speak of is draining you of energy, self-confidence and pride . Do you really want her after all the men she's been with? Not only is that being immoral on her part, it's dangerous for you. Think about!
  • Mar 13, 2010, 02:29 AM
    91s10blazer

    She(my ex) is doing things really out of character for her, she is going out really late and partying and just generally doing things she would have never done before.(even before we were dating) Its just hard for me to understand the situation, hard for me to understand why she would even want to leave.

    People keep asking me why we broke up, I have no clue what to tell them besause I don't even know myself. The lack of closure on this relationship is making it harder. I almost wish I had messed up in someway just so I would know the real reason. Ugh
  • Mar 13, 2010, 02:31 AM
    91s10blazer

    Update on me,
    I am trying to meet girls, I really am, but it seems impossiable. I don't know were these nice girls you guys keep talking about are hiding but I can't find them. Tonight was another lonely Friday night for me even though I asked three girls to go to the movies with me and even offered to pay. All declined.

    The sad part about all this is I'm 19,
    I would consider myself attractive,
    Im in college,
    I Have a job,
    I Have my own money and my own car,
    Im reasonably mature,
    I am easy going and get along with people well,
    Im a really nice guy and I have always treated my girlfriends really, really well, maybe too well.
    I am having trouble understanding why I am so bad at meeting girls, I guess it's the ice breaker part I have problems with. Like the walk up to her and start talking type deal. Although I have gotten a girls number, I couldn't get her to go on a date with me. Rejection is so depressing.

    At this point I would even settle for taking out a easy girl just for the companionship. Once again, UGH.
  • Mar 13, 2010, 02:49 AM
    amicon
    You're going to have to find closure within yourself by accepting that, for whatever reasons,it's over.

    Trying to secondguess her behaviour is futile and only adds to the confusion.

    As for your friends,just tell them that it's over,you owe them no explanations.

    Don't try to find a replacement ,just hang out with friends and get to know more people.
  • Mar 13, 2010, 06:43 AM
    Kitkat22
    Hi I know you're not dealing with this well and I'm worried about you.
    I want you to tell me what is it about yourself that makes you think you don't deserve better. YOU DO! I suffered through the same thing with my oldest son when he was a senior in High School. Now he was and still is very handsome and extremely gallant with the ladies. The girl he was in love with?? Messed around on him the first month he was in college.

    He was so hurt and so mad and shocked at the same time he didn't know what to do. I hurt with him! Every heartbreak he felt, I felt. All mothers have a built in radar about their children. I honestly wanted to pull her hair out of her head and slap her, but I didn't. He took her back and I said ,"son if you bring her here or not, that's your decision, but don't expect your Dad or me or your sisters to welcome her. "

    They did get back together, but it was one of his High School friends who made him see the light. My son was home and his best friend David
    Came to see him and in a couple of hours after David left so did Sean. He was back in about thirty minutes and of course I waited up and he said , ",Mom she' been going around telling everyone she can have me back anytime and she's got me on a short leash". After that he was over it.

    Now he is married to a beautiful girl he met when he was stationed in the South and he married her. They have beautiful children. So don't let this girl keep you on a short leash and I'm sure she thinks she has you there.
    You seem like a nice young man who has a lot going for you. Don't throw away your life and your dignity on a girl who doesn't deserve you.
    You are somebodys child and they hurt when you hurt. Tell her to buzz off. Good Luck Sweetie!
    "
  • Mar 13, 2010, 06:57 AM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by amicon View Post
    So you start ignoring her-dont let her pull your strings.

    Start no contact for yourself and leave her confusing little mindgames in the past.

    I hope he drops her like a hot pototo!
  • Mar 13, 2010, 07:43 AM
    talaniman

    Rejection is part of life, and comes with TALKING to females. No big deal, but if I were you, I would plan my weekends around activities, and hobbies, and not meeting girls at all.

    If you start thinking making friends, enjoying yourself, and not about meeting girls, I think you will have a better plan, and a better time.

    You can't expect to recover from a break up by having a female just to have one, that's a disaster. You do your thing, and see the options, and opportunities, that life gives you, WHILE you enjoy yourself. See the difference?
  • Mar 13, 2010, 08:18 AM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Rejection is part of life, and comes with TALKING to females. No big deal, but if I were you, I would plan my weekends around activities, and hobbies, and not meeting girls at all.

    If you start thinking making friends, enjoying yourself, and not about meeting girls, I think you will have a better plan, and a better time.

    You can't expect to recover from a break up by having a female just to have one, thats a disaster. You do your thing, and see the options, and opportunities, that life gives you, WHILE you enjoy yourself. See the difference?

    Exactly Right!
  • Mar 13, 2010, 09:29 AM
    91s10blazer

    I was just hoping to go on some dates with a female not really get one just to have one. I have been working really hard on expanding my social network ex making friends and finding old ones. Well today is Saturday night and I'm off work at 10pm, lets see if I can actually find something to do tonight. Wish me luck!
  • Mar 13, 2010, 09:41 AM
    amicon

    Have a good day and a nice evening.
    Good luck!
  • Mar 13, 2010, 10:57 AM
    Kitkat22

    Good Luck! Be Careful!
  • Mar 14, 2010, 12:56 AM
    91s10blazer

    Well after some pushing I got some old old friends to go to a drag strip to race our cars. It's a new drag strip and I had never done that before. It was a crazy amount of fun and I just got home (Its 4am) I only thought about my ex once. Although I still haven't mastered the no contact I'm working on it. And to top my awsome day off, Im going to the beach with another guy and three girls in about 5hours lol Sweet! Im really happy, this recovery has had some ups and downs but tonight was a defenent high.
  • Mar 14, 2010, 02:26 AM
    amicon

    The joys of being single!

    Try to go no contact now-you can do it.
  • Mar 14, 2010, 08:39 AM
    talaniman

    Has anyone noticed No Contact isn't a problem when your having Fun??

    Have we noticed that break ups aren't as bad when we are having fun??

    Hmmm, is there a pattern you think??
  • Mar 14, 2010, 04:48 PM
    Kitkat22

    Don't jump out of the frying pan just yet. Five girls Hmm? Get over the ex and don't have sex with just anybody.
  • Mar 14, 2010, 08:26 PM
    91s10blazer

    Yea wow I haven't been single sense the beginning of my sophomore year in high school and I'm now almost a sophomore in college. Had a crazy amount of fun at the beach today, I live in Florida and the weather was awsome. Is it just me or are college girls getting hotter by the year? Lol I have actually learned a couple things about myself because of this break up,
    1. I love ultimate frisbee and am very good at it (who knew)
    2. I made really good friends with a guy I work with and am going to join a gym with him another thing I have never done before or knew I enjoyed.
    3. I love drag racing and am going to try and get into it now (first time for that also)
    4. I changed my mind about sticking to a community college, I think I might transfer to a bigger one, I never did because of my ex but now I think I might actually enjoy it.

    Also another plus is I got a girls number from one of my college classes I have had a crush on. Im supposed to meet up with her tomorrow and study. I think she likes me so I'm going to try and ask for a date. Thanks for all the help threw this guys, my recovery time has been surprisingly fast, way faster then I thought it would be. The stickys on here really help.
  • Mar 14, 2010, 08:38 PM
    Kitkat22

    Glad to hear you are doing better. Take Care and keep us posted on how you are doing! Blessings
  • Mar 16, 2010, 01:05 AM
    91s10blazer

    Well I hung out with a girl from my college class tonight, I have had one of those across the room crushes on, it started as a studying but then we talked a lot and she invited me back to her house. Im not 100% sure she likes me and it was the first time I hung out with her but I hope something comes from it.
  • Mar 16, 2010, 01:49 AM
    Showme_urmove

    Hey bro just take it slow. Don't rush it cause you might scare her off, just be cool and see what happens next. And remember about the experience you had. And hope you learned from it. Wish you the best and hope something happens.

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