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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

Why are all of these getting merged. I asked the two questions separately for a reason

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Your threads were merged because they are all apart of the same problems and concerns.

I will admit that this is going to be harsh, but that harshness is not directed at you. You and your brother are the innocent parties in all of this.

You may not realize it but your mother has been adding to the abuse. It is emotional and psychological. You don't want to go to the authorities because of why? It might hurt her. She stopped being a victim years ago when she realized the man she married was destroying her children and did nothing to help them or herself other than rely on the 'my childhood was worse' defense. SHE has kept the cycle going and I worry that you may be well on the road of repeating her mistakes. If not you, probably your brother.

Princess, with your fiancé you are like the beaten puppy looking for love and a kind hand when it finds one it will do anything for that person all the while growling and snapping at the world (read the Dog forum about 'fear biters'). That isn't healthy for you or him. He loves and you love him. That is great. However, part of that love should be understanding that you cannot make another person responsible for your own happiness or your actions. It may not seem that way to you right now, but you are giving up too much of yourself for the security that he represents.

You can't continue to live in fear of anyone getting upset with you or what you are afraid they might do. Your fiancé raises his voice and you run off crying. That is emotionally damaging to him as well as yourself. If it hasn't started already, it will, at some point in time, start causing him to walk on eggshells around you for fear of how you will react. He won't feel that he can be open and honest with you or tell you anything negative. It is emotional control over what he thinks and what he does. A relationship cannot survive under that kind of strain. It needs both people working together to be strong and healthy.

Please tell a counselor or anyone (other than your fiancé) about what has happened with your dad. Just because he has slowed down recently does not mean that he won't snap and then it may well be a life and death situation. I don't think you want your fiancé caught up in what might happen.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

If your doing it willingly, thats a lot different than going along just because someone says so. You also sound as if you are not so obedient when it doesn't make sense to you. I think thats okay too!

The bottom line is are you comfortable with the way you do things?



Everyone gets merged when the subjects are related, thats how we get the facts of a bigger picture, and keep the lines of all the threads in some rational order.

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Yeah I'm comfortable with it

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

Your threads were merged because they are all apart of the same problems and concerns.

I will admit that this is going to be harsh, but that harshness is not directed at you. You and your brother are the innocent parties in all of this.

You may not realize it but your mother has been adding to the abuse. It is emotional and psychological. You don't want to go to the authorities because of why? It might hurt her. She stopped being a victim years ago when she realized the man she married was destroying her children and did nothing to help them or herself other than rely on the 'my childhood was worse' defense. SHE has kept the cycle going and I worry that you may be well on the road of repeating her mistakes. If not you, probably your brother.

Princess, with your fiancé you are like the beaten puppy looking for love and a kind hand when it finds one it will do anything for that person all the while growling and snapping at the world (read the Dog forum about 'fear biters'). That isn't healthy for you or him. He loves and you love him. That is great. However, part of that love should be understanding that you cannot make another person responsible for your own happiness or your actions. It may not seem that way to you right now, but you are giving up too much of yourself for the security that he represents.

You can't continue to live in fear of anyone getting upset with you or what you are afraid they might do. Your fiancé raises his voice and you run off crying. That is emotionally damaging to him as well as yourself. If it hasn't started already, it will, at some point in time, start causing him to walk on eggshells around you for fear of how you will react. He won't feel that he can be open and honest with you or tell you anything negative. It is emotional control over what he thinks and what he does. A relationship cannot survive under that kind of strain. It needs both people working together to be strong and healthy.

Please tell a counselor or anyone (other than your fiancé) about what has happened with your dad. Just because he has slowed down recently does not mean that he won't snap and then it may well be a life and death situation. I don't think you want your fiancé caught up in what might happen.

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Thank you for your honesty Cat, and I agree with you.
Though as for the reactions thing, me and him have, together, worked past it. I we sat and said everything that needed to be said, for hours across several days, and I came to a realization that there is no reason for me to get so terrified of him. Surprisingly part of this realization had to do with listening to the song "Black Rose" by Trapt.

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

there is no reason for me to get so terrified of him. Surprisingly part of this realization had to do with listening to the song "Black Rose" by Trapt.

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"Terrified of him." You've used other words and phrases like this that make it sound like you are living in a dark cave prison in a Third World country. I listened to some of Trapt's music -- it's definitely not Johnny Mathis (the music I embraced during my teens and early 20s). And your screen name, EmoPrincess, says something too. Tell me about yourself, what you think about life and love and your future.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

"Terrified of him." You've used other words and phrases like this that make it sound like you are living in a dark cave prison in a Third World country. I listened to some of Trapt's music -- it's definitely not Johnny Mathis (the music I embraced during my teens and early 20s). And your screen name, EmoPrincess, says something too. Tell me about yourself, what you think about life and love and your future.

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I rarely listen to Trapt, it was just because Black Rose was similar to how my fiancé must have felt about me at the time. I don't mean to make it sound any specific way. My screen name is a nickname given to me by my fiancé.

Myself, I am a 17 year old who writes, reads, quad rides, would love to hang out with friends were I allowed, and am engaged. Life, is a compillation of events that goes on and on. Love is a deep connection towards anything, and not always romantic. My future is working for a year after high school, attending community college for anthropology, and going from there. While raising a family with my fiancé

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

I rarely listen to Trapt, it was just because Black Rose was similar to how my fiance must have felt about me at the time. I don't mean to make it sound any specific way. My screen name is a nickname given to me by my fiance.

Myself, I am a 17 year old who writes, reads, quad rides, would love to hang out with friends were I allowed, and am engaged. Life, is a compillation of events that goes on and on. Love is a deep connection towards anything, and not always romantic. My future is working for a year after highschool, attending community college for anthropology, and going from there. while raising a family with my fiance

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I read back over this entire thread. You used the word "mum" to refer to your mother, so you are not in the U.S. How on earth did you manage to get engaged at your age with no friends? And of course no marriage in your future, yet children? You also mentioned you have a brain tumor? What's with that? And how did your appointment go on the 27th with Dr. Dyer?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I read back over this entire thread. You used the word "mum" to refer to your mother, so you are not in the U.S.? You also mentioned you have a brain tumor? What's with that? And how did your appointment go on the 27th with Dr. Dyer?

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I do live in the US, and Mum was at my appointment so I couldn't talk freely. Now I'm off all my medicines.

I have a tumor surrounding where my brain stem meets my spinal cord. And it extends upward toward the middle of the back of my head. We found it after an accident at swim team one day where I slipped on a kickboard and fell on my head, at the hospital they did an MRI. It was several years ago, 7, and since then I've gotten biannual MRIs to check on it

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

I do live in the US, and Mum was at my appointment so I couldn't talk freely. Now I'm off all my medicines.

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You have the right to see your doctor alone, privately. Why was your mother there? Why are you off all the meds? No weaning? That's incredible!

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I have a tumor surrounding where my brain stem meets my spinal cord. And it extends upward toward the middle of the back of my head.

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So what's the prognosis? What does it have to do before action is taken?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You have the right to see your doctor alone, privately. Why was your mother there? Why are you off all the meds? No weaning? That's incredible!


So what's the prognosis? What does it have to do before action is taken?

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My mum was there to tell my doctor she sees no improvement. My doctor took me off them to prove a point that they are working

My brain tumor doesn't really do anything. It just takes up space and squishes (literally) my brain. I was going to get it removed until we found out the 95% chance of death associated with the surgery

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

My mum was there to tell my doctor she sees no improvement. my doctor took me off them to prove a point that they are working

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If that's truly what happened, the doctor is incompetent. A doctor does not pull his patient off her meds that are working in order to prove a point.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

If that's truly what happened, the doctor is incompetent. A doctor does not pull his patient off her meds that are working in order to prove a point.

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He said sometimes it's hard to see the effects when someone has been on it for such a long time and putting me on a "med holiday" would give a comparison

Medication holidays are one thing... but proving a point is a different story. Docs do NOT pull patients off meds just to prove a point.

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

he said sometimes it's hard to see the effects when someone has been on it for such a long time and putting me on a "med holiday" would give a comparison

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Did he make certain that you can contact him if you take a really bad turn and that everyone is aware of what the side affects of stopping the meds could be?

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

he said sometimes it's hard to see the effects when someone has been on it for such a long time and putting me on a "med holiday" would give a comparison

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Nice save, except that no doctor will suddenly put a patient on a drug holiday when that patient is taking the three drugs you said you are taking -- certainly not all three are taken away at once, and at least two of them have to be weaned away from your system.

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Originally Posted by J_9

Medication holidays are one thing....but proving a point is a different story. Docs do NOT pull patients off of meds just to prove a point.

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Mum said she was upset because there was no difference and said she doesn't want him filling me with chemicals if it won't work.
Proving a point was the wrong wording, sorry

He said to show her the effects, for six weeks I'm not going to be on my medicines

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Nice save, except that no doctor will suddenly put a patient on a drug holiday when that patient is taking the three drugs you said you are taking -- certainly not all three are taken away at once, and at least two of them have to be weaned away from your system.

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The adderall stopped immediately

Wellbutrin 450->150->0
Lamictal 200->100->0

I wouldn't talk the entire time so I'm not sure what exactly is going on but I remember parts and I have that written on a piece of paper here. Most of the appointment was yelling and being quiet

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Nice save, except that no doctor will suddenly put a patient on a drug holiday when that patient is taking the three drugs you said you are taking -- certainly not all three are taken away at once, and at least two of them have to be weaned away from your system.

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I'm not trying to make saves. I'm trying to clarify

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

I'm not trying to make saves. I'm trying to clarify

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I'm a professional counselor. Doctors don't do what you said he did. And didn't he tell you not to drink alcohol while taking these drugs? I remember reading earlier that you admitted being "tipsy."

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I'm a professional counselor. Doctors don't do what you said he did. And didn't he tell you not to drink alcohol while taking these drugs? I remember reading earlier that you admitted being "tipsy."

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Show me this post. I don't drink.

And yes he did do what I said he did. Should I change phsychiatrists?

What meds are you taking?