I decided to let her go. I can't sit here while I am hurt waiting for her to make up her mind. She also said that I could kiss any other girl. That is using this situation to make her feel better about all of this. By me being allowed to kiss other woman she doesn't have to feel bad about what she wants to do with him. But if she truly wanted me, no of this would be happening.

I know she will kiss try to kiss the other guy again. And if she doesn't feel about about kissing him because of me(I get a feel like that all she is trying to do. Therefore all this talk of me allowed to kiss other ppl) she might try to push things even further. And I can't be the one that deal with all the consequences of her actions because I am here waiting for her.

Not its harder than before because now I know that there is a possibility of US back together. But in order to do that I need to be the fall back guy and take all the she is giving me.

Now I know that I can't be with someone like that. Yeah it will be even tougher to get over her but its better now than to drag all of this misery even longer.

Exactly-stick to no contact as of now and start healing.
Yes,it's painful but you will get over this.

Stay as busy as you can and do things you enjoy.
Read the stickies at the top of the relationship page for good advice how to handle a breakup.

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Originally Posted by sotnasa

I decided to let her go. I can't sit here while I am hurt waiting for her to make up her mind. She also said that I could kiss any other girl. That is using this situation to make her feel better about all of this. By me being allowed to kiss other woman she doesn't have to feel bad about what she wants to do with him. But if she truly wanted me, no of this would be happening.

I know she will kiss try to kiss the other guy again. and if she doesnt feel about about kissing him because of me(I get a feel like that all she is trying to do. Therefore all this talk of me allowed to kiss other ppl) she might try to push things even further. And I can't be the one that deal with all the consequences of her actions because I am here waiting for her.

Not its harder than before because now I know that there is a possibility of US back together. But in order to do that I need to be the fall back guy and take all the she is giving me.

Now I know that I can't be with someone like that. Yeah it will be even tougher to get over her but its better now than to drag all of this misery even longer.

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Good, give her all the space she needs by DISAPPEARING FROM HER LIFE. She will want to have you hanging around just in case the FNG (freakin' new guy :) ) doesn't work out. This is why she is feeding you these bread crumbs to keep you in the picture as her safety net. Prove her wrong and be the bigger man and don't become somebody's fallback option. She wants to experiment with the new guy? Sure have fun, but don't come crawling back to me when you realize what you've lost. Best of luck on the healing. If you feel the urge to break NC, post on here instead.

Yeah I know. I just started the NC again and since the last time I saw her she texet me once saying "Thank You for giving me my space." But she doesn't know that I am doing that for myself in order to move on.

And that's as it should be-you're doing this for you-not for her.

2 weeks since the break up and 4 days has passed since the last time I talked to her and she haven't contacted me. I been good until today, but for some reason today I missed her the most since we broke up. I been doing my best no t break NC and so far so good. However today has been really hard to handle the fact that she is not here. Now I am not only missing her being next to me but I am missing having someone close where there are no barriers where I can truly be myself. Before I was missing her for her person but its now all the things we did, the laughs, the cute times, the boring parts and even the fights.

Your feelings are normal-a breakup is the death of a relationship and we need to mourn that which is no more.

And it can feel lonely to be on one's own.
This is why it's important to build a new life-new interests-new plans etc.

Your feelings will pass.
Concentrate on you now.

So she called me and said that she wants me back. She didn't do anything with new guy and apologized for all of this. She wants me but she feels that I am the woman of the relationship and doesn't want that. So she wants to meet with me to talk about that.

Now this complicate things even more. Yeah I learned a lot about myself in this last two weeks. I am glad this whole thing happened because even though its only a little bit I feel like I grown.

Now this offer is very tempting due my feelings for her. But I don't want to take her back unless I know that she really learned something from this.

However I don't think someone would learn that fast.

Now I don't know what to do. Follow my heart and try to give it a second chance or just let her go.

How are you the woman of the relationship?

She makes most of the decision sometimes. On big things I make the decision and act like a man. But when it comes to little things I let her decide and that is most of the time. This was also another thing I learned about myself on all of this.

I think you have grown through this-I doubt she has.

Stepping back to square one without resolving any issues through honest communication and a shared desire to solve the problems will only end in yet another breakup.

I would really proceed with extreme caution.

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Originally Posted by sotnasa

So she called me and said that she wants me back. She didn't do anything with new guy and apologized for all of this. She wants me but she feels that I am the woman of the relationship and doesn't want that. So she wants to meet with me to talk about that.

Now this complicate things even more. Yeah I learned a lot about myself in this last two weeks. I am glad this whole thing happened because even tho its only a little bit I feel like I grown.

Now this offer is very tempting due my feelings for her. But I don't want to take her back unless I know that she really learned something from this.

However I don't think someone would learn that fast.

Now I dont know what to do. Follow my heart and try to give it a second chance or just let her go.

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Somebody who TRULY LOVES you would never say such a thing. She would accept you for who you are, and not condescendingly refer to you as "the woman" of the relationship. Jee... I'm not really sure what she means by that, obviously she is trying to belittle you, but she seems to forget that SHE IS A WOMAN. I would show her that you are a man by showing her the door. I would never be able to trust her again. I would constantly be wondering if she's going to parties to hook up with other guys. It's really only a matter of time before those same feelings resurface and you're kicked to the curb because "she's confused." There's no way that she has learned her lesson this fast. Tell her that you have a lot that you need to think about and don't know if you can get back together with her or not after what she did. If she still wants to after (insert time frame here) then maybe she is sincere about it. I think this is more of a case of the grass was not greener on the other side of the fence and "oops I f***ed up."

You broke up once for a reason. Like Clue said above she could have not learned a lesson this fast and probably realizes that you are a good guy. I was involved in a 2 year relationship. We broke up once because she wanted ti "see what else there is" and "explore herself." After a month she came back crying. This having been my first love I took her back. I asked her that she should take this time and do whatever. I told her that I do not want her to have those feelings again when she comes back. She said she would never again. 6 months passed, wonderful 6 months at that. We worked on our relationship, fixed what went wrong last time, and enjoyed spending the summer living together. We start school again and a week into school she told me she was having the same feelings again. So we broke up again. Now I know for sure that I am not taking her ever back.


Save yourself some time, money, and pain by letting her go. Continue moving on with your life and once you are ready you will find someone special again. This is your time too now (once ready) to have some fun and go see what else there is.

Update: So I haven't took her back. She has been trying to put us back together but I don't see her as the same person as before. We hanged out the other day and it felt weird. Yeah I wanted to kiss her and all the other stuff but I resisted.

She seems like she has learned something but I don't want to have this happen again until I am sure.

Also since she asked me back I kind of feel less hurt and don't want her that badly. But I still want her.

Proceed with caution,the last thing you want to do is step on to an emotional rollercoaster ride.

Listen to AE4Effort-the voice of experience.

My gosh make a clean break of this, and take the time to do other things with your time.

Your both to needy, and confused to make real decisions based on facts.

As long as your exposed to each other you're going to be confused.

Time to let the dust settle, and see some reality.