Hey UTaustinash, I just made a similar post as I have also slipped with the no contact thing. So I know how you feel. I am too still searching for the answer but can share with you of how I cope it. Every time I slipped, I would tell myself that it's OK to fall, as long as we know how to stand up again.

You're a strong girl and am sure you know what to do.

Dust yourself off, forgive yourself and get back on the path.

I slipped in the first 2 months a few times but not too much. The last four months I have been really good with NC and now there is absolutely no chance at all I would contact the ex. She wants to contact me, she has my e-mail address and home address. Not even getting drunk would make me do it. Don't be hard on yourself, you made a mistake but I don't think you have done much harm and it does not make you look dumb at all. He is dumb for doing what he did to you and he sounds like a real ***t to me anyway from what you have described. Almost everyone slips and it is only human.. Okay, there was alcohol that fueled it but just put it behind you now and continue on your path as tal above suggested. From what you say, I think you have done very well!!

Maybe try deleting his number from your phone. If he wants to contact you he will find a way...