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-   -   Getting rid of that "Scar" (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=418151)

  • Sep 14, 2009, 06:40 AM
    paxe

    How about blocking her and deleting her? That way you'll still have access to Facebook without her. This is the point of NC, delete them from everything, msn, Facebook, myspace. Secondly don't force yourself to talk to girls yet. Flirt a little but if you don't want to talk to them, just don't talk to them.
  • Sep 14, 2009, 06:42 AM
    KillerInstinct

    I did delete her though :S and it still shows her comments on other people's stuff. Maybe I didn't block her properly.. I'll go check that.

    EDIT: yeah, I did it. And it seems as though I don't see her stuff anymore, Hopefully it worked this time
  • Sep 14, 2009, 06:50 AM
    paxe

    Well there you go. Now you can start proper NC since you can't see her. I guess you know what to do now: sport, go out...
  • Sep 16, 2009, 04:30 AM
    KillerInstinct

    Ya, thank you all for your help. I've already found loads to do (gym, band, work, etc) and I can do the NC as long as I don't bump into her at school, and the odds of that happening are close to none.
  • Sep 20, 2009, 02:30 PM
    KillerInstinct
    NC without the N
    Threads merged

    OK, so I've been trying to do the NC, I had used to send my ex (we dated for over 2 years) texts all the time but decided to stop. A week later, she replies to one of my texts which besides the fact of being odd, got me talking again. I don't know why I can't keep to the NC.

    I've read the threads about it, but I still cnt say: "KILLER IGNORE HER"/

    Helppp mee!
  • Sep 20, 2009, 02:37 PM
    DerelictHerds

    No one can help you do it. We can just tell you why it's what you need to do.
  • Sep 20, 2009, 02:40 PM
    redhed35

    Delete her number and any contact you have with her..

    Every time you go back,start again.
    No contact is about you healing,and getting perspective...

    You won't get over her if you keep contacting her...

    Make a plan.. the next time you feel the urge to contact her or she contacts you,phone a friend instead,or phone for a pizza!

    Log on to AMHD,there's always someone here to lend an ear and give support.

    So your backsliding,and you know it... and now you have a tool to deal with the next time you need an ex fix.
  • Sep 20, 2009, 02:53 PM
    friend4u178

    It's quite common , what it does so early in the breakup is give you what you perceive as hope that you may be able to get them back. BUT it's False hope and when you finally realise that and are sick of the suffering NC becomes easier.
  • Sep 20, 2009, 02:59 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    Igore the texts, as long as you keep answering she is in control
  • Sep 20, 2009, 04:39 PM
    I wish
    As time goes on, it will get easier and easier to ignore her.

    But until then, I know it's tough, but it's all about will power. Stay busy as much as possible. Try to hang out with friends and family as much as possible too. Devote your time elsewhere, instead of thinking about her.

    Did you see the list of things to do after a breakup? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...kup-78597.html
  • Sep 24, 2009, 06:42 PM
    KillerInstinct
    Only Getting Worse
    Hey,

    Again, I fall into the trap of breaking the NC rule. This girl is a piece of work and I don't miss her in a sense of wanting her back, but I still think about her and it keeps getting worse (as in thinking more about her). Yesterday, she sent me a text message telling me that she has some new guy which was beyond unnecessary. I should have not answered, but I did, I told her I didn't care and told her off and stopped answering. The next day, I get a text from her number, claiming its this guy. He then goes off insulting me; both my personality and my physical build. Although I'm not even 100% convinced that he exists, it was not helpful at all.
    So now, All I can think of is her and this guy and what not. And to make it worse, I all of a sudden started to bump into her multiple times every day at school.

    I now feel sad more often, although I spent the past couple weeks improving my life. It's really affecting me emotionally and even physically.
    What should I do?
  • Sep 24, 2009, 06:45 PM
    I wish
    Threads merged again

    Please keep all the questions regarding your issue in the same thread so that we can follow your story and give you appropriate advice.

    Did you try reading the stickies?
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...qs-332732.html
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...es-351302.html

    You need to stay as occupied as possible. Keep your mind distracted.
  • Sep 24, 2009, 06:47 PM
    KillerInstinct
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by I wish View Post
    Threads merged again.

    Please keep all the questions regarding your issue in the same thread.

    You after I posted I realized.. sorry about that
  • Sep 24, 2009, 06:49 PM
    KillerInstinct

    And yes, I have read them. Multiple times. But it still isn't helping.
  • Sep 24, 2009, 06:56 PM
    I wish

    I'm sorry you're going through this. It's really tough. You just need to be patient with yourself. With time, it will get easier.

    Others have similar stories on breaking the NC rules all the time. Here's mine: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...re-319894.html

    No contact is really tough in the beginning and it could get tougher and tougher at first, but it will get easier with time. But you really have to stick with the rules. If you break the rules, you will reset your progress and only prolong the pain and suffering.
  • Sep 25, 2009, 04:25 AM
    wontgohomewou

    Talking to girls is A LOT of fun! You get rejected at times, but all you really have to do is just laugh it off. Girls love a guy who can laugh at himself for doing something foolish and they love even more a guy who is confident and overall happy! Be that happy guy that has no problems in his life, but also be the guy that can be serious if someone needs you. It's all about emotions. Eventually, you will find the right girl.
  • Oct 1, 2009, 09:00 PM
    KillerInstinct
    Out with the old, in with the new
    So, some developments have been made since my last posts.

    During one of the many breaks that my ex and I had taken, I had reconnected with a girl I knew from elementary school and although we only hung out once, we talked a lot and I grew quite fond of her. Anyway, yesterday we bumped into each other at college for the first time, well the first time I have seen her in almost half a year. We seemed to connect very well, and although she had to leave, she texted me later and then we talked online that night. Then today she texted me again. I don't know EXACTLY how she feels about me, but I'd like to see her more and maybe make something of it. After yesterday, I've been in a good mood.

    How do I figure out how she feels about me and where should I take this situation from here?
  • Oct 1, 2009, 09:17 PM
    ajGambino
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by KillerInstinct View Post
    During one of the many breaks that my ex and I had taken, I had reconnected with a girl...


    Stop right there. This is another one of your many breaks from your ex girlfriend, but the only difference is, you've met someone you're interested in. Before you start to build another relationship with someone else, make sure the one you've been having problems with is gone for good.

    It seems to me that you're still involved with your ex and this girl will be a rebound or tag along in your life. This isn't fair to her, do not get involved with this one.
  • Oct 1, 2009, 09:19 PM
    KillerInstinct
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ajGambino View Post
    Stop right there. This is another one of your many breaks from your ex girlfriend, but the only difference is, you've met someone you're interested in. Before you start to build another relationship with someone else, make sure the one you've been having problems with is gone for good.

    It seems to me that you're still involved with your ex and this girl will be a rebound or tag along in your life. This isn't fair to her, do not get involved with this one.

    Well, I left my ex almost 2 months ago. I've barely spoken to her since and the only problem is occasionally "missing" her.. or the idea of her.
  • Oct 1, 2009, 09:26 PM
    Just Looking
    Ask her out. Don't go into the date with the expectation she will become your girlfriend. Rather, go to have fun and get to know her better. You might have to date a few girls before one clicks, but this has promising beginnings.

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