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Originally Posted by chuff

I think people at their core to do not want to be rude, so they either avoid conflict or confrontation. Having said that, getting and email from another woman isn't what I'd call proof of anything other then a vidictive woman.

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Well, yeah, she was vindictive, but the point is that the things she wrote on that email were things that only my husband and me would have known about. Like for example - she said that I didn't make my husband meals every single day.

That was true - only both my husband and I were in college together during the time and we both worked full time jobs so like duh, how am I supposed to make him meals everyday? But the thing is that when I asked him (during the time) if it bothers him, he said, Oh don't worry, we are both in college, and I love you for you, not for the meals you make me etc etc. Like he didn't actually tell me it bothered him.

Some people have communication problems and simply can't "speak their minds" as you say. Often they may be afraid that they'll offend you by speaking their minds and being truthful. Let's face it ; we've kind of become a very sensitive society where everyone is sort of expected to tiptoe around on eggshells all the time. And there's always that fine line between standing by your own convictions while respecting those of others at the same time. Hard to do but necessary. Probably the best thing to do is to encourage people to open up, then put on your heavy armor.

Good advice, thanks a lot. Do you suggest keeping a relationship with these kinds of people? The problem is that I begin to feel after a while that they do not appreciate our relationship - meaning friendship or otherwise as much as I do. Otherwise, they'd say what's bothering them as they'd want to improve things.

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I know that I'm beating this like a dead horse, but my good friendl who snubbed me last week is continuing to avoid me. Even after I approached her and asked her if there was a problem, it seems to have made things worse, as she only denied that there was a problem to begin with, and didn't bother to address the issues I brought up. She simply resumed to ignore me as if the problem was all in my head, as she claims.

I really appreciate her friendship - the two of us went through a divorce together, and I confided in her a lot of things. I love her like a sister - we even called each other soul sisters. I just don't understand how 4 years later, she can pick up and just leave, just like that.

What's worse is how I am feeling. I feel hurt now - as if I lost a boyfriend or something.

You haven't necessarily lost anything give this woman some space, maybe that's all she needs for a little while. One way or another you don't control this one, she does. You have done all that you can.

Tell her that you are hurt about what has gone on, that you don't understand it but that if she feels in the future she would like to talk to you, let you know what is going on.. that your door will always be open to her.

But only do this if you really are able to give her that space and allow her back in if she does come back. If not then your going to have to walk away and take what good you can from the experience.

Keep us posted. :)

I would give her space and only bother with her when she contacts you. Right now by your initiating communicating with her and her snubbing you you are only feeding the hurt.
The more you bother with her right now the more she is going to feel justified in her treating you this way because she doesn't seem to want to be bothered for whatever reasons and she isn't going to tell you.

I think its time to be friendly and polite, but drop expectations of a reasonable relationship with this person. Holding on to something that ain't happening, and where there is no good answers coming, is a waste of time.

Accept her for the crazy a$$ she acts like.

Your right, this horse is dead. Bury it.

Move on. My best friend in all the world will not accept my phone calls. I sent her nice cards in the mail. Nothing! Today I stayed home from her granddaughters wedding so as not to upset HER . I have no idea what is wrong, she is usually right in my face and I like bluntness. I love her granddaughers, she worked for me two summers as an intern at our library. I just could not go to the wedding, get in the receiving line and have her turn her back on me. Hurts too much. So I am moving on. It will take me a long long time to trust someone else to be a true friend. I thought she was.
I was wrong... so moving on. I have enough stress in my life with out taking on someone else's.