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Best way I can think of it would be to advertise in the local newspapers, maybe in the social or community section, about looking for people who play certain instruments, looking to form a band. You may get some replies from there. If not, there is always advertising in a local music shop if there is one near you.Quote:
Originally Posted by none12345
Bud wait for her to come you I got dumped like that twice by the same person and wait for your ex to come back but don't go back with her. I'm a girl and a guy dumped me for a deaf girl -_- then we dated again and he dumped me for this ugly girl but don't do that to yourself it will make it hurt worse. Trust me lol
Wait for her (I assume she cheated or left you for another guy)
To write you.That way you will maintain your sense of self respect,and the ball is in your court.Then again,you could just ignore her text (if she ever does),I think that would make her even more frantic.
Man, if you want to join a band just post on Craigslist. There are tons of people looking for musicians :D
I´m screwed cause Im a musician myself, and I make a living on it... so for me that's not an option... and if I consider taking some lessons or joining a pet shelter, that would take too much time for me since I am freelance and I have to be "selling" myself at all times of the day (which sucks, yes). So since you can do it.. go for it! I´m myself just reading books and keeping myself busy with what I like, but sometimes it gets really lonely... when that happens, I just put Californication, Weeds, or whatever on the computer, and forget about verything. That works for me.
As to meeting new people... I thought about dating sites.. but I feel myself a bit retarded for doing that. I know I shouldn´t.. but I never had problem meeting new people... I´m just usually too busy to do it, so a lot of the time I feel lonely... maybe that helps for you. If I had a normal 9 to 5 job I would totally join a team, or go to some classes... that would be awesome, so go for it! :D
What do you guys think about the dating sites? Would that help somebody like none12345 or like me? (we are on the same boat, although Im now over the phase of trying to contact my ex at all... I now just don't give a crap what she does).
In fact I'm thinking of freelancing music. Wrote a couple of songs. Anywords of advice on where to go from here? I had my first bar gig the other day but it was a quiet bar with only a couple of people too drunk to listen. LolQuote:
Originally Posted by chetatkinsLA
Dating sites? Personally I've tried that. Im 19 and I found that its usually for people older than me looking for people their age.
Eh, I'm working on my novel, working out, working on the music and work from 8-5 I might find myself too busy to date. I just might lay back on that for a while. =P
Well I agree... I always say that the best times in my life are when I am single. When I get a girl... I start spending a lot of money, not seeing my friends that much, depending on someone... you know. So I guess its best for us both to just stay like that for a while. I have always been OK with being single.. its just this time (im 26) that Im feeling a bit old and Im kind of starting to want somebody in my life. Maybe Im growing up... dunno! Haha!
So yeah, being 26 I thought of the dating sites, cause of course, when I was 22 I didn't bother! But now.. I don't have time, and I kind of want to have a lovey dovey in my life... I thought the dating stuff would work.. but... I hear those websites are scams most of the time... and that you usually don't get nothing out of it, so Im a bit reluctant... they are pretty expensive also... they take advantage of you!
Are you singer songwriteR? I mean.. do you sing and play guitar or piano? If so... I would encourage you to play wiith more people. A singer with a guitar usually attracts old people or drunks (I´ve been there, haha), but a BAND attracts young and sexy girls (been there too, actually Im still there, haha)... so just go to Craigslist and put up an ad. Jam with drummers and bass players and get your songs together, and start playing better venues (not bar & grills haha). If you succeed send me a demo.. I might produce your first album someday ;) ha ha!
Leave your novel aside and write good songs... write about your ex... thats the money maker right there ha ha :D Use all this crappy ex bull for something productive. I know I have done so... I have made a couple of songs that are on the lists right now and soon I´ll be making money thanks to my ex :D ha ha! I´m going to love her again when that happens :p
lol! Well if you must know, I have a couple of friends who met their true love on a dating site called lavalife. They are so in love now, so it does work trust me. =PQuote:
Originally Posted by chetatkinsLA
Ya I'm a singer songwriter. I wrote a few songs with my guitar but it does sound kind of dull being just acoustic. Actually grew up in a musical family. Im considering on writing a song on the piano too. Its actually really hard without a band though.
I ll post up some ads to maybe starting a band. If you ever start a label company, I'll send some demos to yah =P I wouldn't mind attracting young sexy girls but I'm kind of looking for love not girly fans XD
Haha imagine if my ex hears a song about her on the radio. Her expression would be priceless and her friends would be like isn't that the guy you left to be with someone else? Lol It would be nice to make some money off her XD
Now that'd be fun noney , hope it happens for you pal :cool:Quote:
Originally Posted by none12345
lol thanks M =PQuote:
Originally Posted by friend4u178
I did promotions for a local poetry promotions gig for a few years before I moved. We went all over the place, art fairs, museums,(we got kicked out once because we don't do censored and they didn't tell us it was a censored reading we were invited to, awesome story) we did coffee shops, any number of events, and of course, the awesome local bar's with the super drunk poets <--. Look into some promotions or advocacy group that is all about the art, trust me they will have a mantra about it, and you will meet some super interesting people who will be anything but boring.
Hey guys it's been a while since I talked to my ex and I missed her so much. Thought I was getting better but I've been thinking a lot about her. Every where I go reminds me of a romantic moment with her. It's hard to believe how things got this way. Don't get me wrong after a near death experience recently, Ive started to see life as something so beautiful but I feel like something is missing. All that I'm after is a life full of laughter.
Starting to think nc is childish. Should I go after her? It's clear I still love her and not over her. One shot at life right? She left me for another guy and didn't bother contacting me all this time. What to do? Some words of wisdom needed. Thanks.
Go back to Page 1 and read again , c'mon noney you know it won't do you any good right??
Head up Pal it'll get better believe me :)
It's just so hard. Came a long way I can see. Really loved this girl with my whole heart. My first love. I find myself crying sometimesnot sure if it's tears of joy or sadness. I've completely accepted it's over, it's just living without her is a big change.
It's not easy I know , if it was this Forum would probably not even be here LOL ;)
You just got to hang tough mate and one day you'll look back and laugh at how you pined over someone who really wasn't worth it.
One life. One shot. If you believe you're tough and ready to walk into the warzone. I believe you should quit NC, go back to her in a fresh manner, show her the side of you she has never seen, be her friend and who knows maybe some day she'll come back. Sometimes maybe its not all about loving and being with that person. Maybe its just loving and proving yourself that you can love them even when they're with somebody. I think you still have a chance as long as the ring isn't on her finger and she isn't carrying no baby.
Words of Wisdom... (accompanied by flutes and breathy new age music )...Quote:
Originally Posted by none12345
You don't need to have someone special in your life to experience, love, joy and laughter.
It is not possible to go back and experience what you have had, no matter how powerfully you may crave it.
Whilst you continue to crave what you had in the past, believing that that was the pinnacle of happiness, you deny yourself the opportunity in the present to move forward and find new happiness.
Happiness is a state of mind, not a destination - it is not necessary to find love to find happiness and laughter.
... (music reaches crescendo and quietly fades away)...
Buddy, it's like this...
If you go back and chase her, with hopes she will see a different you, it won't happen. You will be trying too hard to win her back, while someone else has her heart. It will tear you to pieces. Forming a friendship with ulterior motives is not the way to go and is a fast track to more pain.
She is with someone else, so all of that energy she put into the relationship with you is now focused on her new BF.
It is best to make a fresh start at new life, rather keep dwelling in the past. I think you originally started NC with the notion that is was a tool to win her back. It's not, although you are not the only person who thought this way... I did too at one point. NC is not easy, but it is the only way to let go.
She is not the only woman out there for you. Sure, it may feel like she was because she was your first. Ask any man or woman (especially married ones) and see how many of them are with, or married their first love. I can guarantee that over 90% of them are not with their first loves.
It's just the way life happens. Life and love are never meant to be easy or painless. We all have to experience pain and hardship to realize what we truly have now!
Give yourself more time bro! It's only been a a few months! My ex and I have been broken-up for close to 10 months and I still think about her all the time. She was my first, but I know that she will not be my only.
Have you ever read my thread, it is probably very similar to your situation.
Don't chase her, she has someone else for that. Spend your time making yourself better for your next GF. Notice I said NEXT, because there will be someone else who comes along!
It will pass, just get busy.
Thanks for the encouragement guys.
I've been listening to a few songs that is kind of persuading me to go chase after her even though my head tells me it's a bad idea.
Time to change the music.dont set yourself up to be miserable.
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