Hey, it gets better, with each passing day. You may think it doesn't but soon you will realize it. I was lucky, I was going through a lot of new problems when I found out my ex was sleeping with someone else. I was in the middle of a huge report for the company I was with and focused a lot of my attention on working out.

Do you have any hobbies going on or what man?

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Originally Posted by Elousia

thanks for the support guys,

I haven't seen her since may 1st,

this has been the longest ive ever been away from her,

it kills me....especially since she is with someone else.....

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It does get easier, a lot easier. I know when my ex first broke up with me. About 3 months ago (wow time flies... ) I was feeling just as hurt as you are right now. I begged / pleaded upon the first break up, and then really just tried to understand it the next few weeks, and offered to reconcile if it could be done. I'm now on 3 weeks of NC and doing very good. And you know what, you're never going to understand somebody's actions. At the time it did hurt to think of him/her with somebody else. And while I still kind of have that thought in the back of the head, all I can do is continue to work on myself. And what I do realize is that I'm an amazing person, and best of luck in replacing me with everything I have to offer!

You can't control the actions of others, you can only be the best person that you can be. Whether they choose to see that is up to them, don't worry about that. Eventually you're going to reach the point that if they ever came back to you, you really wouldn't care.

Hang in there.

Hey brother,
I feel your pain, my ex dumped me after she cheated on me and we were together for 3 years. You were treated like **** but let her do it. You are still hurt but you need to be ACTIVE in your healing. I doubt your are going out there, doing sport, going out with friends. And no you are not ugly it's all in your head. Take care of yourself, dress yourself better, set yourself a goal, get those 6 pack abs. I know it's hard but you do feel better one day at a time.

It's time to move on and take care of YOURSELF.

All I can say is that I know how you feel. I married my first love 4 months after my 18th birthday, we had been together for a year and after 2 years of marriage he met someone else and decided I was not good enough. We have 2 beautiful children together but things never would have worked between us and the more I tell myself that the more I move on. That girl he left me for is now 5 months pregnant and they have only been dating for 5 months and now he wants ME back. But I am over him and think that is what he gets. You just have to find your way of "dealing" with it and you will be fine. I know its easier said than done but I know you can do it. Stay strong and keep a good support system. Things will get better:)

I'm such a wreck right now...

I don't know what to do because I'm so hurt...

I found out that my my ex is engaged to be married to this other guy now...


And she is in italy with him right now... before she goes back to school...


She says loves me and its hard cause she wants to break the engagement off because she loves me but still she doesn't want to be with me...


She is so happy and has done everything I waited for...

I just want to die... I carried her when no one else would...

Spend time with friends and family -do things you enjoy doing-cry if you need to-and this will pass.go NC for you not for her.good luck.

Start with stopping all contact, (I already know, EASIER SAID, THAN DONE) as it takes time to break an attachment that deep. And be patient with yourself, as this may be a long hard process, (IT SUCKS, BIG TIME)and you will have to be proactive in the way you plan your life without her.

Tal you wrote this back in June in my thread,

I guess you said this because you knew that this kind of thing happens...

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Originally Posted by kctiger

Everyone goes through this, and I would tend to agree that the first is always the hardest, as you have never dealt with it before and you literally do not know that you will get through this...but you WILL!

Self value goes a long way. You need to learn that. You have hit rock bottom, now quit digging even further and start to climb your way out of this funk that you are in. She is dead to you...and I mean dead to you. Change your number, get rid of anything that reminds you of her, whatever.

Bottom line, everything starts with you. There are baby steps you will have to take to get over this, and you have been in the grieving stage way too long...time to get off your a$$ and start rebuilding a better you, and a much better life for yourself. The self pity train only takes you so far before the ride is over and only YOU are to blame. Get up and start living...I promise you it will get better.

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Two months later... ive done what you warned me not to do... now I don't know where to turn or what to do...

F--k her man! This chick was with you for 4 years, dumped you, said mean things about you to your face, strung you along in the FWB zone and then, in all honesty, got shacked up with the first swinging d--k that showed her some attention!! This is who you are crying about??

YOU should feel sorry for her new man. She's rebounding so hard right now it's not even funny. Engaged a few months after being in such a long relationship? Gimme a break. This has got D-I-V-O-R-C-E written all over it. Believe that. Also, when it does happen, guess who she'll come running back to: YOU!! When she does, you can decide what to do about it then.

In the meantime, get out, work out, hit on girls like crazy and forget about this witch.

More info please-have you contacted her?

amicon... no I haven't contacted her since my last post..

itried... I hope so... thx for your words...

KC, Tal, Liz... if you do read this I'd appreciate any help... even chuff...

I might be missing something here but what's making you feel bad today?

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Originally Posted by Elousia

itried....I hope so....thx for your words...

KC, Tal, Liz....if you do read this I'd appreciate any help....even chuff...

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I'm here buddy. I know you are hurting. This is one of those pivotal moments we all go through. Finding out our ex has truly moved on. Does it suck? YES. The good thing is that you have finally hit rock bottom, it can't get any worse from here. I know once I hit rock bottom, that is when I truly began to change my outlook.

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She says loves me and its hard cause she wants to break the engagement off because she loves me but still she doesn't want to be with me...

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Don't know how you found that out unless you broke NC, but you should be seeing a pattern emerge, and that's any contact with her, or her life, freaks you out!!

It's that way for us all, until we learn how to handle those feelings, and deal with ourselves. Thats healing, and while you have made progress, there is still work to do, a lot of work.

Vent, and get back on the path. We do not allow wallowing on the pity pot here, so cry, and get it out, and get back to work.