Let's cut all the fun and games out. This is the problem, and it's a big one for you. You need to see a therapist, because this whole strip club thing is just something for you to throw your emotions into as a distraction for the real issue(s) which run much deeper then this. Honestly, if it wasn't the strip club it would be something else. You were suicidial yesterday, you have better things to worry about then this. You never learned how to control your own life from with in, so you are trying to control it through the actions of others, but that's a losing battle because you can never control anybody else. You need to see a therpist, because this issue has to be dealt with. Like I said, you wouldn't think twice if you broke your arm, so why are you wasting time with this non-issue and not addressing the real ones. This strip club nonsense doesn't really matter in the long run, but what decisions you make about your mental and emotional health will affect you, you children, and boyfriend forever. Isn't that where you should put your focus now.