Threads merged to get the whole story

Hey everyone, I have a situation... Everytime I hang out with mutual couplea, I always invite my girlfriend to hang out. However, when I hang out with my friends, I can't seem to be myself when she's hanging out with her.

For example, I can't go into a store with my friends and try on a muscle shirt, or anything that she thinks is not nice looking on me, without an opionion like " I don't like that, or its too small, etc...

We've been together for 5 years, but when we argue, we vent to our friends, and my friends are not too crazy about hanging out with her. I always tell my friends there are 2 sides to a story, and they seem not to care about her side. Maybe this is due to them knowing me many years before my girlfriend... other friends have been around her, and would rather not to again...


This weekend, my old college friends are coming down... and she is mad because I didn't invite her to hang out with us... Its a bunch of guys, and I know we will drink, maybe go to the club/bar, and I will be in about 2-3am... We don't live together for reasons such as always arguing and I love it this way because we have our own space


My question to you all is this: Shouldn't you be able to have your OWN friends in a relationship? What if we broke up, I wouldn't want her linked to my friends in ANY way... I've had that happen and hate that... Do you think she is trying to control what I do? I do things with my girlfriend that normal people in relationships do... go for nice walks, movies, bowling, etc


I just feel that I should be able to have my OWN friends, and that they should NOT have to like her if they don't. I don't feel I should leave my friends just because they don't like my girlfiend... although some of it is due to my venting to them sometimes when we argue

Any suggestions? I am asking you all because I know you all are not biased, so I know you will give me your honest opinions... Thank you in advance

It is important to have boundaries in a relationship.

If you and your girlfriend don't see your respective friends alone then you can both start to feel a bit smothered.

Her hanging out with your mates sometimes is fine if she wants to tag along but she needs to understand that you need to just 'hang out with the boys' sometimes.

I get along fantastic with my partners male friends, some of them are closer to me than my female friends but I still repect that he wants to hang out with them by himself sometimes and talk about 'guy things'
You need to have a chat to her and tell her that.
If she can't understand then in my opinion, she is too clingy and doesn't trust you.

So what has happened in a month where all of a sudden your back together??

It sounds like she may be controlling and or insecure.
You need to tell her that your time out with the guys is your time.
I am sure she has time with her friends without you there so she should understand that. If there are no other girls going to be there tell her that it would feel awkward being the only guy with the only girl there.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by talaniman

His threads have been merged for the whole story
So what has happened in a month where all of a sudden your back together???

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It sounds like maybe they are down to a once a month relationship.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by talaniman

His threads have been merged for the whole story
So what has happened in a month where all of a sudden your back together???

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Oh no... you broke the rules...

Your recent story is just adding to the list of red flags. I don't know how many more flags you need to snap back into reality.

We can't tell you what to do, but if after 5 years of dating your friends still can't get along with her, I think you can pretty much accept the fact that they will never get along with her.

If you choose to stick with her, you're going to have to accept the fact that you're going to have to see your friends separately. If she can't handle it, then you're going to have to choose between your friends and her. Can you really do that?

Why put yourself through so much pain and suffering?

The think this relationship have reach it crossroads.

The foundation of this relationship is weak and after being together for 5 years it shouldn't be.

I didn't read your thread that Tal posted but I will.

Deleted for not being able to understand this post, due to some really lousy spelling and grammer-Mod.

Re edit please.

Ignoring her for you will be very difficult this time. Firstly I want to give advice that you should discuss face to face and you should ask politly that what's wrong with you why are you ignoring is there any problem. If after this discussion any result you get then depends on you. If there is no result then you should clear her that if you don't want to be with you than its OK and clear her with statements that never call me never meet me now no relation between us. You must clear this then you get good feeling and result