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Originally Posted by Izzyy

Not cheating but if your going to think about someone else than whats the point of even being with the other?

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If that's the case, then wouldn't we have a lot of breakups? Why date at all then? If the most beautiful/hottest/prettiest/handsomest man or woman walked into the room, there's virtually no way we can't think about it even for a second. Unless we're robotic?

As long as we don't act on those feelings. I think that our level of self-control against these sort of feelings is part how much we like/love our significant other.

If two are not married, then nothing is really cheating... as their vows to take care of one another forever are not made and sealed before God and man. However, there needs to be an understanding between the two that they are not exclusive until they have set the date to be married. Now if they are married, then OF COURSE IT IS CHEATING. There are only two ways to be faithful, or unfaithful. This is physically and in one's mind... these are all we have to truly show our love, our intent, our faithfulness. Or lack thereof. If I am daydreaming about past lovers, spouses, sexual encouners, bla bla bla, and not taking the determination to force them from my mind, then I am not being faithful. You can always look it up in the bible, if you like.;)

I really don't agree with the 'if you are not married' because if you are serious about each other you should be as loyal as if you were married and if you can't control yourself before you are married how can you be sure you will once you make your vows.

If we are really SERIOUS about each other, then we set a date for marriage. We need to train ourselves to "starve"our eyes (and our affections) for our spouse. ;) somewhat of a challenge in our society, but of course we can do that. If someone really hot walks in the room, I could make a CHOICE to look, a CHOICE to dwell on their attractiveness. Or I could CHOOSE to smile, say hello, and get my mind on other things. This does not mean that we are no longer going to notice attractive people, but it means instead that WE CHOOSE not to dwell on it and experience the "hot and bothered" feelings that come with being sexually attracted to someone. Same with emotional bonds with others than our spouse... esp for we women... WE CAN CHOOSE to only discuss very impersonal issues with others and save our best humor and advice/advice seeking, approval seeking for our husbands. We must be aware of the line we are walking.