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And don't let sex keep you here. Unless you can disconnect from all the noise, it isn't going to be worth it.
I lived with a great woman, with a great body, and great sex (when it happened), but she was mentally disconnected and distant... and it was better to be without her than to be left wondering, wanting, and waiting for the next big blow up.
WOW!!
That is some things to think about. I really appreciate it and it makes me feel a lot better about myself. :)
I am going to bring up those points to her and see what she has to say about that...
kp2171, thank you for your comments. I wish I could have the experience you do but I don't. Ive only had 2 serious realtionships, other than this one... and that is why I am confused.
Yeah... well... if I knew then what I know now, id have had my head up my arse a lot less.
Unfortunately, sometimes you just need to find things out for your own. Again... my exp doesn't mean yours is the same... but then again... read the threads here long enough and you'll start to see that you aren't as unique as you think you are... others have been through the same noise... and, in turn, she isn't the Only Right One for you either... not when there's a few billion people on this planet.
I have a good relationship with my wife, but if I kicked the bucket, I know she could find another good man. Why? She has the experience to know what fights to fight, what things to let go, and what she needs. She wouldn't find the same love with another, but I'm sure she, in time, could be happy.
After that first big love breakup I hardly dated for over a year. Too much mental baggage, and a lot of bad timing... didn't have anyone around I thought was interesting... then, wouldn't you know it, all of a sudden there were three diff great women interested in me all at once.
Life is just wacked sometimes.
Sorry you're going through this noise. Glad you are trying to confront it and figure out how to get past it, whether that's with her or without.
That seems about right... kp2171.
But this woman is CRAZY erotic. Don't know if anyone else out there is like her, u know? But hell, id rather please myself than to be left crying and acting not like "a man"...
A lot of the advice here seems to point toward "manning up"... but it seems to me that you can "man up" and still be kind hearted to those you love.
Ill keep you all posted...
You poor fellow, having to put up with all that drama just to get some nookie when you want it.
If you can't say NO, to sex, then you fall for any female that can use your lust against you. I really don't think a guy should be a hostage to his little head, and go through the drama, and humiliation some females are capable of.
Believe me, I've had my share of crazy females, and loved them all, and that's no lie, as when they're good they are really good, but let them get a bug up their a$$, watch out as you get more drama and chaos than you can handle.
After 4 years you already know what you got, and it won't change, so decide if all the drama, and chaos is worth the good sex.
If its not leave, If it is, enjoy while you can, until the next emotional storm comes. And you already know its definitely coming.
Good Luck, you will need it!
THAT too... is sooooo true.
What everyone here has been through what I have?? LOL.
Yeah... there will probably be "another storm"... then good, then bad... etc.
Lust is a problem for me. I seem to fall victim to it, against my better judgement...
You have a lot of good advice here. A LOT. But there's something I want to point out that I didn't see posted already:
Alcohol is expensive and if she drinks as much as you say she does, she could probably afford going to doctor if she cut back or even quit.
Zoe...
Your absolutely right! I tell her that she is spending a lot of money on drinks, she comes up with the "bartender is my friend" line... or she goes without food or something else.. so that she gets her beer, vodka... etc.
Im not a big drinker but I'm pretty cheap when it comes to drinks... id rather spend my money on other things but for her, there is always liqour in the apartment... yet she isn't an alkie... she can do without it if she wants... so go figure!
Thats what all the alkies do, and they can, to prove a point. But when they are ready, to the liquor store they go.Quote:
... she can do without it if she wants....so go figure!. or she goes without food or something else..so that she gets her beer, vodka...etc.
She has a drinking problem! Just doesn't acknowledge it!
It sounds to me that maybe she is an "alkie."Quote:
Originally Posted by heartbrokeninsa
I think that she uses her drinking as an escapism... but what can I do... shes not the classic definitition of an alkie because she doesn't have to drink if she doesn't want to... u know.
You don't do anything these are not your problems, they are the issues that she needs to deal with. Focus on you and your healthy life.Quote:
Originally Posted by heartbrokeninsa
Justwantfair...
If I focus on my problems and life... and heal... and then - she is a part of that, assuming that she begins working on her issues... then don't her problems become mine?
Hey gang... I wanted to let you know that I am going to not have anymore contact with her... I am going out tonight to have a good time, although by myself and hopefully meet some new women... ill keep you posted!
ANYONE..!
I went out last night to no avail... didnt meet a damn person. :(
I have not had contact with my girlfriend since 2 days ago (I know its not long but we used to text 20 times a day!)
I am having serious withdrawals and feel as if I'm completely worthless. I want to text her but I'm taking the advice here not to and its killing me!! Help what do I do? The days are long without her...
#1. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
#2. It's not time yet to go out to meet new people. You should consider joining a gym... might be a helpful distraction.
#3. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
I went to the gym... tried to get all the anger out and it worked but now I'm home alone and I can't stop thinking of her!
A friend of mine last night told me that I"m a "good looking" guy and that I should be able to go out and F... k anyone I want to... in order to HEAL and get over her... what do you think?
Ummm, I think no... but I don't know that my advice on that will help.
Will having sex with random strangers make you feel better about yourself and this situation? What other things do you like to do?
Being single and the break up you are going through has nothing to do with your ability to sleep with women or your looks.
NO horrible idea, it will not help anything. It's like superglue to broken glass
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