You find yourself in a pretty confusing and painful situation and let me tell you first off, I feel for you. But, if you knew from the start she was coming off a 9 year relationship with someone who abused her (cheating for 2 years is definitely abusive), then you must have felt you needed her even more than she needed you. To go into a relationship with someone in that state of mind you must have had some kind of forecast that she was going to be grateful, needy, clingy, but I think you chose to see that as loving and "comfortable" and you were in need of that too at the time, that's why you clicked so well.

In any case, I agree totally with all of the previous posts. Believe me when I tell you that she does have intentions of going back to this guy, bad news or not. Silly girl actually believes it's going to be different this time. You have to start thinking with your brain and not your heart. Your brain should tell you that any person, no matter how much affection they felt for someone, would not return to someone who cheated for 2 years. 2 years. Not cheated twice, but cheated for 24 months! Common sense should tell you that no one should sit and wait to see if they are the chosen one. Move on. A 9 year relationship is hard to get past, and she hasn't decided to do that yet. To be honest, I think it would benefit you most to just not contact her or anyone else for a while. Get yourself together so that the next time you meet a gal, your head will be in the right place.

You knew writing this post what you needed to do, but you're trying to find someone out there who will tell you to be romantic and fight for the one you love. In a different situation, different circumstances that may be true, but not this one. Don't doubt your gut instincts, they are pretty loyal. All of these people who posted here have so much experience, unfortunately gained in a very painful and time consuming way. Listen.