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-   -   Dangerously in love? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=315992)

  • Feb 11, 2009, 09:19 AM
    kctiger
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by AmExp View Post
    ALSO, he wanted a detailed account of my past sexual history and how the guys performed (no, he is not gay). Where they are currently, what they are doing, how long we dated and when we dated. Is this strange???

    Ahh... so he knows about me huh? :D (Total joke, no harm intended)

    All right, so everything you are typing is confirming that this guy is a creep. Run, NOW!
  • Feb 11, 2009, 09:20 AM
    DSMom
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by AmExp View Post
    Kctiger...lol at your earlier comment about being low-class.

    I really do feel loved I am just trying to figure out how I should address these issues with him.

    DSMom, what made you finally leave your relationship with the guy?

    After going back and forth with myself, with the relationship, etc etc I just really took at good hard look at what was going on. This was ridiculous and I totally refused to spend the rest of my life beign controlled by someone, Living my life as someone else wanted me to or told me to... SCREW THAT!!

    I wisened up and I left. The phoen calls I received were ridiculous (I got a new phone number because of it), he has told many stories about things that *I* did that *he* left me because of, blah blah blah...

    He can live his insecure life with false stories and say whatever he wants about me... I am happy, I am free, I am out of his control... he is looking for his next "victim" I am sure

    Just really ask yourself if this is what you want for the rest of FOREVER... You what someone to tell you where you can go, who you can talk to, how you can look, how you can dress, basically treat you like you have no mind of your own and you have to listen to what they say? Please, just be strong, see the danger in this and move on without him
  • Feb 11, 2009, 09:24 AM
    starbuck8

    You need to get out of this relationship! I can see where this is going like a re-run of an old movie, playing out in my head! If he is acting like this in just 4 months, run like hell! This can escalate faster than you think, and IT WILL! You don't want to end up where I did, trust me you don't! It's not a lot of fun anymore when you are sitting in the emergency room on a Saturday night with a bunch of broken bones, because he "thought" you were flirting or talking to someone that he hadn't approved beforehand.

    I have been through this! Your guy sounds like a carbon copy of my ex. I hear you saying everything that my ex would have done. If I didn't know better, I would say you are dating him! One thing that really stood out to me, is when you said that he "allows" you to tell him when he has gotten a call or message. He ALLOWS you? You have to ANNOUNCE who YOU are talking to? He has people CHECK UP on you? You have to ACCOUNT for your whereabouts and your behaviour when he isn't around?

    These are classic textbook DANGER signs! RUN, DON'T WALK!
  • Feb 11, 2009, 09:28 AM
    AmExp

    I am just so confused. I hear everything you all are saying. There are many valid points. When we first started dating I never thought I would be more serious with him and vice versa for him. I just don't understand where this behavior came from. He claimed left to right, up and down that he was NOT the jealous type. He still claims he wants me to go out and have a good time and NEVER to ask him to go anywhere.
  • Feb 11, 2009, 09:29 AM
    AmExp
    Lol at KCTiger... Yes, I know your comment was harmless, funny, but harmless
  • Feb 11, 2009, 09:37 AM
    DSMom
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by AmExp View Post
    I am just so confused. I hear everything you all are saying. There are many valid points. When we first started dating I never thought I would be more serious with him and vice versa for him. I just don't understand where this behavior came from. He claimed left to right, up and down that he was NOT the jealous type. He still claims he wants me to go out and have a good time and NEVER to ask him to go anywhere.

    He will say that... over and over and over

    However...

    Actions speak louder than words
  • Feb 11, 2009, 09:38 AM
    Irishgirl
    Very few people admit their faults never mind telling you their psychotically jealous
  • Feb 11, 2009, 09:46 AM
    spitvenom

    The only sexual history type question I ever ask any girl is Do you get tested for STD's and HIV regularly. I think that is the only question anyone going into a new relationship should ask about sexual history. To this day I have no idea how many people my wife dated. The reason for that is it doesn't matter. She is with me and that is all that matter's.

    In my opinion him wanting to know all that sexual history stuff borderline's on him being insane.
  • Feb 11, 2009, 09:49 AM
    AmExp

    I am really disappointed. I was hoping my little instinct would be wrong and people were going to tell me that I am over reacting and to give the relationship time. Instead, everyone is saying RUN! I thought I had genuinely found a guy that loved me and cared for me and wanted no harm to come of me. I doubt I am just THAT HOT. Fiddle sticks...
  • Feb 11, 2009, 09:51 AM
    AmExp
    Lol at spitvenom... I take it that is highly unusual??
  • Feb 11, 2009, 09:51 AM
    kctiger
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by AmExp View Post
    I am really disappointed. I was hoping my little instinct would be wrong and people were going to tell me that I am over reacting and to give the relationship time. Instead, everyone is saying RUN! I thought I had genuinely found a guy that loved me and cared for me and wanted no harm to come of me. I doubt I am just THAT HOT. Fiddle sticks...

    Yes, you are hot (in the pic)... however don't strut your stuff around looking for guys to tell you that either. I almost get the sense you want guys around to validate how good you think you look.
  • Feb 11, 2009, 09:52 AM
    spitvenom

    That's the thing about instinct's they are usually correct.
  • Feb 11, 2009, 09:57 AM
    spitvenom
    Guys who want to know all the sexual history stuff are asking for trouble. Let me ask you did you tell him EVERYTHING about your sexual history?
  • Feb 11, 2009, 10:03 AM
    AmExp

    NOT EVERYTHING, but more than I should. There are a few things I could have kept to myself. My mommy taught me early that some things should be kept private.

    My ex thinks the only reason I want to go to the club is to have guys validate how attractive I am. I like attention when I get dressed up, but I don't crave it or need it...
  • Feb 11, 2009, 10:06 AM
    spitvenom

    Has he ever brought up anything about your past to like make you feel bad or guilty?
  • Feb 11, 2009, 10:08 AM
    AmExp
    OH YES! Especially my most recent past relationship. I never hear the end of it. I am tired of him doing that. It makes me feel bad. He says he wants to humble me... then follows it up with a, "I am just kidding." or "I am sorry, that was mean and uncalled for." It was a badddddddddddddd past relationship. Different situation. I told him I don't like it but then I get that damn humbling response...
  • Feb 11, 2009, 10:18 AM
    DSMom
    I am really sorry, but he is a egotistical, manipulative, overpowering control freak...

    It will turn for the worse, you know this, please end it.
  • Feb 11, 2009, 10:19 AM
    spitvenom

    This is a way to control you. He says something to make you feel bad or sad about yourself or your past but then says it was a joke or he didn't mean it so you don't just leave or get mad. The past is the past and had nothing to do with him for him to throw it in your face and try to hide it as trying to make you humble is wrong.

    I know some people will not agree with me but I found nothing wrong with wanting attention when you get dressed up. I don't spend $1,000 on a suit so I don't get noticed.
  • Feb 11, 2009, 10:24 AM
    AmExp

    So you all think he doesn't love me AT ALL?? Why all the wining and dining if he doesn't care? He has spent A LOT of time and money on me... I don't want to make it seem as though he is a bag guy. I was out of town and he drove 3 hours to pick me up so I could make it back home safe and sound!! He gave my cousin 30 dollars worth of gas money when he was in town so we could go to his house for dinner ( it doesn't take 30 dollars to get there) and he took my cousin, his partner and I out to dinner. He bought me a new computer because he didn't like the fact that my other one was so slow and special ordered it for me. He bought me a new lock for my door because the new one is more safe. My dishwasher broke and I got a new one while I was out of town!
  • Feb 11, 2009, 10:27 AM
    kctiger

    Money hides a lot of problems... take the sunglasses off and you will see reality for what it really is.

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