There will be days when you get to thinking about it. It happens. But try to make it so that you're looking back on memories that you know you can't change. I do that a lot too. I look back on past failed relationships, but I try to make it so that I wonder what I learned then that I can apply to now. It gets easier everyday man, so just go on. You seem to be doing great =]

Yeah... So basically, just look back on the relationship and take what I can LEARN from it?. that's the best and most productive way of going about it if I am going to look back on things right?. I get it...
I think, yesterday I was just wondering about things... how she used to tell me they would talk at night (which they would do for hours), how they would hang out at uni etc... just that kind of stuff. It made me think for a second -- hmm, perhaps she actually left me for him (because they seemed to be getting awfully friendly around the time that my ex was having doubts about being in a relationship) and perhaps that was the reason she dumped me!. she thought the grass was greener (that whole bunch of crap lol)..

Although I realise... that theory could be right!. or.. it could be wrong. Nobody will ever know, I certainly won't. I will never know the real reason why she broke up with me!.
And I have to leave it as that... in many ways it feels like I have been betrayed and led on but I know I have to let those feelings slowly go and just accept that I will never know why she just left and did that 180 -- it could be because of this other guy, could be other reasons...

But what I DO know and what I can focus on though... is that she didn't truly love me - her actions proved this and I believe I deserve better than that...
Also, I can focus on what I have learnt and continue to learn;
- not to make my S/O my whole life, have a fulfilled life without her.. share my life with her
- still be nice and be myself, but don't be a doormat.. make sure the relationship is equal
- the redflags (which I would now automatically sense)
- then there is all the stuff I have learnt about how to handle myself post-breakup...

All this plus more... so I know I must focus on what is true (she didn't love me and I deserve better) and what I have learnt. And I must try not to think about.. why she broke up with me, because I will never know... this is the correct attitude, right?.
Anyway, I am doing well otherwise... NC is going strong, and I can feel it working, just can't wait for my europe trip now :)..

Dude, honestly, try to keep this post out of your mind lol. This'll keep you coming back to thoughts of your relationship. Cut all ties, which includes this thread.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by NItEMArE129

Dude, honestly, try to keep this post out of your mind lol. This'll keep you coming back to thoughts of your relationship. Cut all ties, which includes this thread.

---

Ha, yeah, I completely agree.

He's right man, you're thinking way too hard on what you thought you learned, and you keep repeating yourself; I've been there, too, it happens.

Focus that energy on something other than your past or future relationships, like getting into college, or preparing for it if you've already been accepted.