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Originally Posted by kctiger

You are absolutely blinded by love right now, and I for one am tired of hearing you say that your situation is so much different than the million other people that have come on here with the same problem...You really think you can just "fix" things? You really think you can make her realize things are "fixable?"

I wish you luck, but I fear you are going to hit a brick wall really quickly. I hope I am wrong, but you seem way to needy, and you are acting like a baby right now...just my opinion.

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We just hung out too much and we have to ease it down a bit

We never gave eanother time to ourselves

Its 50/50 on what's going to happen next week

I'm riding on this ending with great sex

Do NOT ACT on emotions... that is all I am saying. You are not rational right now, as you need to separate yourself from this situation a bit. Just breathe and know that whatever happens, it will be all right. You cannot even hold a conversation right now with her without balling your eyes out... we need to change that.

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Originally Posted by kctiger

Do NOT ACT on emotions...that is all I am saying. You are not rational right now, as you need to seperate yourself from this situation a bit. Just breath and know that whatever happens, it will be alright. You cannot even hold a conversation right now with her without balling your eyes out...we need to change that.

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And I really don't feel like having sex with another girl I just want her back and she knows that she just has to sort her out

I understand how you feel. Refer to my above post... calm down and let her sort her issues out. We have all been where you are at, believe me man! You can look at the first question I ever posted if you don't... I know how this feels, two times worse than you think you do. Just take my advice... get your head straight and relax. Be the man... calm, cool and collected.

You have no choice whatsoever, but to leave her alone, and regroup, and rebuild your own life without her.

As you can see you have made her and her needs, way to important to be healthy. Especially since you obviously don't know her needs any more.

You can go on, and on, about the love thing, but this isn't love any more, its a deep hurt that needs to heal, and put as a priority for now.

No more texts, calls, or none of that trying to hold on stuff, it never works.

What works is getting your act together without her.

Dude, you're still not listening. YOU HAVE TO be able to live a life without this girl. What would happen if she found another guy? Would you sit around and wait for her the rest of your life? You are way to dependent on this girl.

Hey James, I think you need to try harder to control yourself and seriously practice NC its for your own good... girls hate it when you are all over them. Even if they love you... take this time for yourself, don't get your hopes up about her getting her back either as the tought of it will not let you move on to recovery.

Five days after my ex asked me for space and time to think, I broke NC and called her and said something very similar to what you told her. "u need to think things through take all time u need. when ur ready to give \me shout ill be here. " I don't regret saying it as it showed I was willing to do something about our relationship and cared enough to risk the call.. she agreed which made me feel better --but later hurt. After that, I went NC and still haven't broken it (its been 3 weeks--she hasn't contacted me either except for a plain merry xmas text)... this is helping me heal and realise that she might never come back to me. And believe me, its hard at first, but then it feels better when you don't know ANYTHING about her, because there's nothing new to hurt you. Keep it up until you finally move on and set yourself free from those feelings.

Best of luck!

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Originally Posted by expat2009

Hey James, I think you need to try harder to control yourself and seriously practice NC its for your own good....girls hate it when you are all over them. Even if they love you.... take this time for yourself, dont get your hopes up about her getting her back either as the tought of it will not let you move on to recovery.

Five days after my ex asked me for space and time to think, I broke NC and called her and said something very similar to what you told her. "u need to think things through take all time u need. when ur ready to give \me shout ill be here. " I dont regret saying it as it showed I was willing to do something about our relationship and cared enough to risk the call..she agreed which made me feel better --but later hurt. After that, I went NC and still havent broken it (its been 3 weeks--she hasnt contacted me either except for a plain merry xmas text)...this is helping me heal and realise that she might never come back to me. And believe me, its hard at first, but then it feels better when you dont know ANYTHING about her, because there's nothing new to hurt you. Keep it up until you finally move on and set yourself free from those feelings.

Best of luck!

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She wasn't going to contact you anyway man

I've already broke nc and she's already txtd' back enough times

We just have that connection that we can text eachoter like normal people would regardless of this situation

I'm not contacting her anymore until she contacts me

Regardless if she contacts you or not, you should be prepared to live a life without being in a romantic relationship with this woman. She might be contacting you to inform you that you're in the friend zone. Prepare for that.

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Originally Posted by JamesRusnak

she wasnt going to contact you anyways man

ive already broke nc and shes already txtd' back enough times

we just have that connection that we can txt eachoter like normal people would regardless of this situation

im not contacting her anymore until she contacts me

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Look, its not about her contacting me... its about me being able to move on. If she did, I wouldn't be able to, because anything she'd throw at me would ultimately cause me more pain.

Im glad you can keep texting each other in an adult manner, however, our exes are different people who knows what their motives are, but you know what?? It doesn't matter... what matters is US and no-one else.

Keep it up, and see how you feel after a while of NC, better or worse?

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Originally Posted by 411Help

Regardless if she contacts you or not, you should be prepared to live a life without being in a romantic relationship with this woman. She might be contacting you to inform you that you're in the friend zone. Prepare for that.

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I am preparing for it... something like "please dont wait for me anymore, I dont think you should give me anymore time because I don't need it...Ive made up my mind and I don't want to get back together with you" it hurts even thinking about it. But its better to be prepared and not be taken by surprise..

I just want to be over her as soon as I can so I can be best friends with her again and not feel any jealousy or be in love with her. Im sure many of you feel the same way. Hope we get there as soon as possible. I hate this. Dammit.

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Originally Posted by expat2009

I just want to be over her as soon as I can so I can be best friends with her again and not feel any jealousy or be in love with her. Im sure many of you feel the same way. Hope we get there as soon as possible. I hate this. Dammit.

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I felt the same way when my 5 year relationship came crashing down. I sooo desperately wanted to be friends and remain in contact. It wasn't until months of NC passed that I woke up one morning and realized I DIDN'T WANT to be her friend, and I never looked back. It's hard to think of life without that person, but NC does indeed let reality sink in.

Good luck man.. we're all here for each other.

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Originally Posted by expat2009

I am preparing for it...something like "please dont wait for me anymore, I dont think you should give me anymore time because I don't need it...Ive made up my mind and I don't want to get back together with you" it hurts even thinking about it. but its better to be prepared and not be taken by surprise..

I just want to be over her as soon as I can so I can be best friends with her again and not feel any jealousy or be in love with her. Im sure many of you feel the same way. Hope we get there as soon as possible. I hate this. Dammit.

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To some, it's impossible to reach that level. Once you fall in love with someone, there's always something there.

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Originally Posted by 411Help

To some, it's impossible to reach that level. Once you fall in love with someone, there's always something there.

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This is what you got to do guys

If you feel you have to make one last stand somehow to make her realize if she really wants to be with you or not this is what you have to do.

Be a man, be sly on making a time to see your girl

You have to pull her aside for 15 min and tell her how you really feel and how you've really thought things through. Tell her the break and this 'space' just hear me out for 15 minutes.

It's a make it or break it but a break is generally permanent so what do you have to lose?

You'll feel better knowing you really tried with her face to face rather than being a voice in her head through text and phone calls

Tell her how things aren't the same without her.. pull out whatever you have to say about how you really how you feel... don't seem pathetic or desperate about it

Tell her that if she really loves you she will give you 1 more day of you and her together. Do everything right. Take her to the restaurant, buy her flowers, get a hotel room do whatever you have to do on this 1 night

Then after that night you tell her that she can still have her space, she can think and make a better decision

If she decides that she still does not want to be together then you tell her that it really wasn't meant to be

I'm ding this tonight.

And I was given this advice by a friend who went through the same situation.

Guess what...

... he got his girl back


**just tell her that things aren't the same without her and you met for a reason. Get creative. Use metaphors, do w/e you have to do.

Good luck guys


Ill keep you posted.


Even if she turns this down, ill feel better knowing that I actually tried and I know that this will be a better recovery. For you and her.

You will feel a lot better. I am nervous, but I am confident.

Man, grow up. You have seen way too many movies... you need to get a little self pride and quit chasing something that clearly wants nothing to do with you.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental...de-296397.html

You should be dealing with your own issues, focusing on you, and leaving her alone, honestly.

I'm not doing this for her. I'm doing this for myself

And if you and your girl hung out every day for the last 3 months and sent each other 10,000 txt msgs' talked everyday on the phone.

Then this should be pretty easy to dish out.

Nothing personal, but I think you're setting yourself up for more heartbreak. You need to close the door on the past, learn from it, and focus on the future. Let us know how things go, as I'm sure you'll be back.

Sorry James, but you are going about it all the wrong way. You will never get her back begging her for one last time. Right now respect her for what she wants, if there is any little chance of you two getting together. YOU DON'T EVEN GIVER HER A CHANCE TO MISS YOU... actually I don't mean to be mean, your choking her. YOU are just pushing her away.. You can't see it now. WE are seeing from the outside in. Leave her alone, as much as it hurts, live your life and go on, and if she cares one day she will be back. Sorry, but you are going about it the wrong way..