Ask Me Help Desk - HEY LADIES! How do women feel about male virgins?

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Originally Posted by cadillac59

Starbuck8:

I don't know if you posted your answer before my last post about my personal experience, but my last point serves to point to the basis for my concern.

No, 23 is not old, but where's the right age?

I did post my answer before reading your question. I was halfway through writing and got interupted by the phone, so I finished writing and then saw you had posted and I then read it. I'm sorry that you had such a tough time working through your sexuality and that your Dr. although in a very blunt way, helped you in some way to be honest with yourself.

I really don't know if there is a "right age." What I do know is that someone shouldn't do it because of pressure, and for all the wrong reasons.

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No, 23 is not old, but where's the right age?

That's a question we answer as individuals, and what ever answer you come up with is the right one, for you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by starbuck8

I did post my answer before reading your question. I was halfway through writing and got interupted by the phone, so I finished writing and then saw you had posted and I then read it. I'm sorry that you had such a tough time working through your sexuality and that your Dr., although in a very blunt way, helped you in some way to be honest with yourself.

I really don't know if there is a "right age." What I do know is that someone shouldn't do it because of pressure, and for all the wrong reasons.

Well, Dr. Blum who I told you about should have been called "Dr. Blunt", that's for sure. But as much as I hated him (and eventually stopped going to him) I have to admit he was a pretty smart guy. I can't say he helped me come to terms with my sexuality , only that in hindsight he was the only one who seemed to have the cojones to bang at the closet door and get me thinking.

Hope nothing like this is going on with the OP. That's my only concern. Because if it is all the adulation is not going to help but only make things worse.

I don't think it matters if your gay, or straight, if your not ready for sex, or have met the right person to do it with.

It does matter being honest with yourself, before inviting another into your world. Unfortunately, we humans don't always know ourselves that well, and only learn from our mistakes afterward.

Quote:

Originally Posted by starbuck8

I do understand your point, I truly do. But you are looking at this from your own experience. I don't believe this is the case with Qwerty, from everything I've heard him say. Please correct me if I'm wrong Qwerty. I didn't mean to imply that there is anything wrong or un-natural about sex. What I meant was respecting your body by waiting for the right person is a redeemable quality. Too many young people have sex, just because they feel the pressure to do it. Many times they regret that choice, and other problems come from that. Come on this forum on any given day, and see how many girls and guys are so heartbroken, because they thought their "first" was the love of their life! Some use that as a ticket to sleep with anything that walks afterwards, because their first time was a very bad experience! So my point is, is that justs because you decide to remain a virgin for whatever length of time, isn't such a bad idea! Now if a man (or woman) was like the 40 yr old virgin, then I might be questioning other things. But 23? No! There is nothing wrong with that. Qwerty has already stated his interest in women. My understanding is he just doesn't want to give it up to just any girl! He's fine!

All right, wow now we have people talking! Haha

First off, there is no way I'm gay! Lol. Because I'm very attracted to women. I would say that a big part would be that I had lots of other stuff going on that I just completely forgot about finding a girlfriend. I've always had a steady job, been active in many activities such as sports and stuff. And I guess you could say my activities have declined, and I'm just not getting as much human interaction.. I don't like my job, but I don't mind it... because I get along with everyone and I feel comfortable. I have some friends... yet they're mostly 3-6 years older than me, and what scares me the most is that THEY'RE the ones that aren't finding gf's. And my friends are pretty cool people, but maybe the motivation isn't always there. So that's why I've been wondering about my ownself and future.

If I'm hanging out with these people... I'm just falling into their same ways. Lately I've been doing more stuff with friends that are more open to helping me get out and have more fun. I just want to surround myself with more opportunities I guess you could say.

And to answer why I haven't yet... it's because I don't have enough of these opportunities to get out and meet new people. And as far as finding someone special... I'm not looking for "the one" but just a friend (who's a girl :) ) someone who would understand me and care about me. Like a good friend.

I'd also like to add that I'm very mature... some things I've noticed by going to the bars/clubs recently have just made me sick. It may be the alcohol that makes everyone so hot and horny, but it's the same people all meeting every week, same time to take someone new home. I'm not sure if I'm the only one... but when I guy just walks up to a female and says "damn, you hot!" And that "works"... somethings not right.

I'd like to think I'm more of a gentleman...

***Edited****

OK me coming from a very old-fashioned society that believes in chastity... and me being a teenager living in this society lol my word probably won't mean much since I'm like inexperienced... I personally would like it because it means that you aren't a person to jump around... it means you respect women and you would never put a woman in a position that they wouldn't enjoy... but you'll have to find the right woman who would appreciate this quality... and not a girl that only looks forward to sex... and not about the actual relationship

Don't care about what anyone says... if they diss you... they don't understand.. your just very respectful and caring and they don't appreciate it...

Quote:

Originally Posted by qwerty108

I'd also like to add that I'm very mature...some things I've noticed by going to the bars/clubs recently have just made me sick. It may be the alcohol that makes everyone so hot and horny, but it's the same people all meeting every week, same time to take someone new home. I'm not sure if I'm the only one...but when I guy just walks up to a female and says "damn, you hot!" And that "works"...somethings not right.

I'd like to think I'm more of a gentleman...

Keep doing what you're doing, until it seems right for you! I didn't mean that I thought you were going to sit forever and wait for the "right" girl,. just the girl that's right!. if you know what I mean. Don't stoop to handing out the corny lines. They get old really fast. Any girl that will fall for that is worth leaving in her right on her bar stool.

Querty, you're a rare bird indeed but that's fine. Hey, if you're happy and confident, enjoy yourself and take your time growing up. I'd be the last to throw cold water on you charting your own destiny. It's your life and no one has the right to tell you how to live it, which sums up the war I've had to fight my whole life against a bigoted heterosexual and largely anti-gay society.

All the best.

How did I miss this thread?

Qwerty, I have to say that there is nothing at all wrong with waiting to have sex, I wish more people would.

When you meet someone special you'll know. Just going home with random girls gets old really fast (or so I've been told, after all, I'm a girl). Finding someone who respects you, cares about you and is there for more than just sex, well, that's worth waiting for.

I wish I had waited longer, but I can't take back the past, you still have a chance to make that first time special and meaningful, so don't be in a rush. Trust me, you won't be a virgin forever! :)

To back up altenweg on this...

... seeing a different girl every week DOES get a little old... sorta.

And really, having a response for "the talk" in the morning almost seems scripted now.

Do what feels natural. You'll be fine.

Well the idea of bieng a virgin at the age of 23 does not impress me at all…I don’t know about other girls, but would like to really know. But knowing that u respect women so much and you are not a party animal I will be alwayz ready to even die for you

Quote:

Originally Posted by cadillac59

Querty, you're a rare bird indeed but that's fine. Hey, if you're happy and confident, enjoy yourself and take your time growing up. I'd be the last to throw cold water on you charting your own destiny. It's your life and no one has the right to tell you how to live it, which sums up the war I've had to fight my whole life against a bigoted heterosexual and largely anti-gay society.

All the best.

I sure hope the "anti gay society" opens their eyes and pulls their heads out of their... sand? (trying to keep it PG ;)) I don't think your sexuality should be anybody's business... unless of course it's something illegal, but that's a whole different subject. Judge not, lest you be judged. I know this thread has taken a bit of a turn, but it's not so different if you really think about it. Everyone is unique, as I believe Tal has said. People tend to conform to the "NORM," just to "fit in!" What makes people more "unique" is when they march to a different drummer. You can find "groups" that stick together, and they are all the same... OR... you can be your own person and do what feels right for you! Not all of us can say that we can "stick out in a crowd!" I think that's something to strive for, and not anything to be ashamed of. :)

I sure hope the "anti gay society" opens their eyes and pulls their heads out of their...sand?

Well, I think we've come a long way but we still have a way to go.

I now this thread has taken a bit of a turn, but it not so different if you really think about it. Everyone is unique, as I believe Tal has said.

That's right. And it's the differences that make the world colorful and interesting. Like the old Tom Robinson song from the 1979 Secret Policemen's Ball, "[Sing if you're ]Glad to be Gay", I'm glad to be gay and wouldn't want to be straight, even if I could be because being gay makes me uniquely me.

If the OP is glad to be a 23 year old virgin, that's OK too as long as he is happy.

Am I going to get in trouble for posting this link? LOL! It's hilarious. I know... off topic. Sorry Qwerty!

"Prop 8 - The Musical" starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, and many more... from FOD Team, Jack Black, Craig Robinson, John C Reilly, and Rashida Jones

... I'm a straight female just in case anyone is wondering. ;)

You maybe want to try sex councling and speach/relationship classes to help you calm down

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jessica119

You maybe wanna try sex councling and speach/relationship classes to help you calm down

Do you want to elaborate on that? Why should he need "councling?" And why would he need "speach"/relationship "councling" Why does he need to be calmed down?

Jessica119 may need some grammar/spelling counseling.