Ask Me Help Desk - I hate that I got so attached that someone.Mistake maybe?

Quote:

Originally Posted by WakkieRob

but i think the biggest lesson i learnt is not to allow your happiness and being to become dependant on the person your in the relationship with.

I disagree, I think if you have a good relationship you are both dependent on each other because you love one another!

You're contradicting yourself here, either you're dependent on each other or you aren't. Hehe.

I agree with Talaniman and your first sentence. You don't base your happiness on another person, you acquire it in your own life and share it with your lifemate.

But you know I don't think I was dependent on her like for my happiness like that. But she show a lot that she was uninterested every time I tried to spend time with her or tried to get us to go out. She felt I was trying to force things... I don't think I was dependent like that... now that I think about it

The funny thing about learning from experience is that its usually when your well down the road, when clarity and understanding hit you. Then it takes time to process it.

Oft times its better to just deal with the feelings, and let the facts come later.

Yeah... you're right..

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrueFaith

And you wasn't attached to your girlfriend. Ok?
We all get attached to our girls.

You made HER LIFE... YOUR LIFE...

Big Big mistake. Girlfriends are part of your life... They are not your life...

You must have your own way and not follow or be mixed up in theres...( thats girfriends)

you date them to have fun.. not to be so in there lives you can't see where yours ends and theres begins.

Yeah. I made her life my life. I mean honestly I wasn't trying to but it happened. I got mixed up in her life. So when the relationship ended, I'm the one that took the break-up very hard and had a hard time letting her go, thus breaking the "NO CONTACT" rule several times trying to communicate and talk things out with her. Losing my head.

And on the other hand her moving on so "QUICKLY"... you know??

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrueFaith

You will shock yourself to see how much you have learned once the next girl comes along.

Believe me when that time comes, I'm pretty sure that I will shock myself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrueFaith

Just remember your mistakes and don't make the same ones again.

O yea, I constantly read the posts that I've gotten from everyone since I first came to this site.

"I wish I would have known of this site before me and her broke up. Maybe I could have changed some things!"

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrueFaith

Also be proud of your self man you sound like your guilty of your emotions. Don't be. Enjoy them thats what makes you...you.

Right about now it's tough to enjoy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrueFaith

Just remember take it easy. Even if she is the special girl. Don't put them up on an ICON. Just act normal and keep your own goals and life in check.

When I do meet that special girl, I will just take it easy, don't put them on an "ICON" like I did the last one. I will just be myself and act normal while still keeping my personal life and goals in check..!

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrueFaith

Do not lose yourself in a relationship.
its an easy thing to do.

From experience losing myself in a relationship (and also accepting that people change) is very easy to do especially if you really love someone and see potential with that special someone.

"But no matter what, always stay true to who you are: character, integrity, personality, morals"

If you would have found this site before all this had happened.

You probable would not have listened as much as you are now

Because you had no other relationship to go on.
You would have thought the replys were good.. but did not fit you or your girlfriend life style.
The I am different and she is not like that..

Plays a huge part in a first time relationship.

It is so easy to look back and say what if what if.

The fact of the matter is. You made the best choices. Due to your own experience and information at the time.
Its pointless to beat yourself up over it.

I could look back and say Damn it. I wish I had put them numbers down on the lottery.

I know you don't see it now. But this is a very good thing for you.

You talk to me in 8months time
You will be like

Duuuude can't believe I was like that!
Trust me :)

You have got to quit regretting your past and start embracing your future. Once you turn your head to the front, a whole new world will be there. ANYTHING can happen, and I mean ANYTHING. Better you are prepared then constantly worrying about the 'what ifs.'

You are right I've been beating myself up and analyzing the "whats if" scenarios too much now. I need to look ahead to my future and quit looking back.

And "TrueFaith" if I would have never had that bad relationship I would have never found this website. Because when I got confused after the break-up I started searching for advice and perspective on my situation and thus finding this goldmind. You guys!! So you are right. I've learned sooo much from you guys and my relationship. Yea it hurt like CRAP!! But if was for my good...

For my good as well... this website has done wonders for me. Cheers to everyone here!

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrueFaith

I know you dont see it now but this is a very good thing for you.

This a very good thing for me?? How??

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrueFaith

You talk to me in 8 months time
you will be like...Duuuude can't belive i was like that!!! Trust me :)

Oh really? 8 months..

It means :) this break up has lead you to this site.. (Good thing)

You learning from this relationship (Good thing)

You learning about yourself (Good thing)

And yeah 8months man trust me
You will bounce back so fast :)

And when you do.. think of my words hehe

What you should do is:
First get to know the person really well before u get really attatched.then when u THINK u found the right person then u should start to be getting attatched.