Ask Me Help Desk - Will I get him back I was mean

I've done that already he said leave me alone I need space, to get over this. I'm leaving him alone rite now guess its early days few steps at a time, but I hope hell come back to me soon,

The past is a bad place to get stuck. Like nohelp says, just tell him you are sorry and give him his space. There is one thing that will drive him away faster than anything and that's constantly texting him, making bad comments, etc... If you want him back, give him his space and if it's meant to be, he'll return.

You all have made me realise I'm stupid thanks! He has dumped because he cheated, if he loved me really he would have understood that as I ahvent seen him since he cheated only once, that 2 months isn't enough to get over and rebuild trust when your partner isn't in front of you. It his loss not mine, at the end of the day I hope he realises this, I really felt like texting him this as he's putting it all on us not working and arguin when it was more to do with the cheating, and not enough time to recover, thus I said about the other guys that were caring because deep down I was still pissed off. Do you think I should text him something, I want him to realise, its not me, I don't think I want him back naymore, I've stopped vrying as well just want some justice what you think?

Sorry about the typos, some of my keys are weak.
*i ave stopped crying now

The greatest 'revenge' that you can have with your ex is moving on with your life, standing on your own two feet and becoming a happy/ healthy young lady. This is slightly more effective then putting your two fingers up at him :)

You're on the right track, you have reached the anger stage. The best part of the break up besides the fully healed because now you get serious about moving on and keeping no contact

Hey hon. Let him go. It's hard as hell and it will take time. But, you will grow and hopefully learn the lesson. Whatever you do, don't contact him. Go on about your own business, easier said than done. Trust the people here who are giving you advices.

Quote:

Originally Posted by raichund

sorry about the typos, some of my keys are weak.
*i ave stopped crying now

First, the typos... there is a spell-checker and it works real quick, try it.

Second, this relationship. OK, so this was your very first love, but you have had no other experience to compare to this by and we all make our mistakes in life and love, and we learn from it so that we don't make the same ones in the future. Life is not a Bollywood film and there is no standard recipe for handling rejection or pain. It's something we each have to learn to accept and handle on our own - that's what makes us human and molds us into what we later become as independent individuals.

Read the stickies.. read some of the other posts from people that have gone through the same issues and how they dealt with it. It will help you to understand that you are not alone.

So, stop wanting something that will only hurt you over and over again, and start healing and putting this in the past... move on.

We will help you go through the stages with advice from our own experiences in life, and you'll see, that in time, you too will get over it.

It does take time, though, so try as best as you can by keeping yourself busy and do some socializing without expecting to hook up with another guy any time soon... because you need the time to heal first and feel better about yourself.

Hang in there, and stay with us.

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Do you think I was harsh with the whole kiss thing, as he did not have sex was I OTT?
Although it was the same night I told him I was worried about not seeing him over summer.
I really think he was the one and I have let him slip away

Quote:

Originally Posted by raichund

Do you think i was harsh with the whole kiss thing, as he did not have sex was i OTT?
although it was the same night i told him i was worried about not seeing him over summer.
I really think he was the one and i have let him slip away

Yes dear, but that's just the way you thought you had to react... later on in life you will learn exactly what is important to you in a relationship.

I think you are just being a little unrealistic feeling he's the right one - just because he was your first. That usually never happens because in the growing up process and getting to know each other in a relationship, there are so many other things that you need to know about each other... and TRUST is one of the most important issues.. You don't know him long enough to have gained trust. It takes a lot of work on both parts, and not just in the physical position and you cannot get upset every time he talks to other people. He is not as serious about this as you are, so you need to take a step back and see what this is... your first love, but surely not your last.
Leave him space - and if he comes back, fine... if not, then get on with your life and accept it.

We’ve all looked back on past relationships and said, “What was I thinking”. Problem is, you were not thinking. You were caught up in the magic and the wonderful feelings of the moment that you chose to overlook that there may be trouble up ahead. SO... make a list of all the good, and then the not-so-good things you two have shared and learned about each other... see if the following words apply anywhere:

love, compassion, openness, trust, honesty, sincerity, attraction (including physical), shared feelings, similar values, passion, shared sense of humor, respect, faithfulness, dedication, compromise, harmony, friendship, curiosity, understanding, oneness. TAKE A GOOD LOOK! Oh, and when talking did you or he use the 'we' word or mostly 'I/me' words...

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Believe it or not, get busy growing, and learning, and you'll meet someone else, and have that much more experience, and can enjoy it better.

When people have relationships that continue to have problems it is best to walk away. Find teh person who will make you happy without having the drama. I have been mean to my guy and he has always forgiven me and we solved the problem within a hour or two. True love is forgiving and drama free.

My first big love lasted 7 years. At the end, it was done. It sucked. Hurt like hell. I wondered if id ever meet anyone again.

I did. I loved again. Lost again. Loved again. Lost again. Eventually I found my wife.

There is no ONE. No soul mate. No one perfect person. If I were wiped off the face of the earth thered be someone in the few billion people on this earth, that could make my wife happy.

Spending time on someone isn't enough to say "its meant to be". Some loves are meant for a time, not all time.

Loving someone doesn't mean its meant to be. I've walked away from two loves I just couldn't be with. Call it bad timing, fate, whatever. It was a big love, wrong time.

I wasted over a year on the first big love, thinking if I worked hard enough, did enough, hoped enough, that it would work out.

It did.

It worked out that over a year later I finally realized my head was up my arse. I needed to step away.

Even as I wanted to be with her, I needed to get the heck away. It was the best decision. Too bad I wasted so much time thinking that a big love with big connections to that one girl was all that there would ever be for me.

I loved a few wonderful women after her, and while I'm irritated by being so dumb as to hang onto a dead relationship, I'm glad I finally got a clue.

You need to live without him, allow yourself to go through the hurt that ALL go through at some point. It sucks. No fun. It gets easier in time.

But until you suffer through it, work your way through it, and then move on... you are just stalling your life.

Eventually that gets really, really boring.

Go out and have fun with friends or family. Do not worry about him. If you love him and he does not love you... move on. You deserve to be happy.

Well he's started contact again about general stuff even asked if I have a boyfriend but went on to say the next girl he meets he wants her to be the one...
Then once I text him to check if he was feeling better as he was ill he text bk saying I'm good thanks I thort that was fine then late at night he rang me out of nowehr to just chat. I'm cnfusd told me about his personal home issues too wts going on sum1 help

Speaking from experience, it will probably never work out. My ex cheated on me and we tried to make it work, but I was always bringing it up. We fought because I brought it up all the time and we spent a year trying to make the relationship work when it was doomed. Trust me don't waste your time on it. You're just going to end up stressing yourself. It will be hard as hell but in the end you will be happier and healther.

Yh thts all well and good but he did only just kiss a gal in a club in 2yrs done nothing else,and I just wanted to know what this whole contatcing thing meant anyone no...