Weirdest thing is that, after not talking to her for almost 3 weeks and re-evaluating everything that we've been through together, I am honestly not sure anymore whether she was "the one" for me or not.

I am beginning to think I was very naïve forgiving and justifying some of her mistakes/lies during the relationship (including her "cheating" on me by going out and kissing another guy when she felt I didn't care about her anymore, almost 9 months into our relationship -- I justified it because of her "insecurities"... again).

Plus, last time we talked, about a month ago, she also admitted doing a one-nighter with a married guy 30 years older than her (he was chasing her like crazy) one of the times we had broken up for 1 week in the past (I didn't mind that much though because I had also slept with another girl that same time we broke up... what a coincidence!! )

I honestly don't know anymore whether I wanted her back because I had lost "the woman of my life" or because of egoism and missing a girl I loved and just had a great time with (.. but not "THE ONE")

I believe that what kept me coming back again and again was the fact that she was objectively so f*kin beautiful, so f*kin sexy (everywhere we went, EVERYONE turned staring at her) and the sex we had was totally out of this world...

Strange what NC can do, I guess...

Sounds similar to my story. Still have regrets but I'm moving on.

DAY 21 of NC

It's been exactly 3 weeks now.

I feel so much better. Still thinking of her though (nothing like I used to, of course), however I am not sure if I want her back anymore. NC has given me time to think about our relationship and it looks like, although I wasn't treating her the way she wanted, she made much more serious mistakes while we were together and I have come to believe that she wasn't 100% honest with me all the time, the later being a real deal-breaker for me.

However, I have to be honest, I still want her to call me. I don't know why. Maybe it's just my ego talking here... Or maybe someone in here should again kick some sense into me...

It s a normal reaction, but you have been doing a great job and keep at it. I am more or less in the same boat and all though you have that feeling that oyu want them to call what good will it bring in fact it could just make you go a few step backs. If you still have her on your phone delete her ( I did and it helped). Look after yourself now. Maybe a year from now when you are over this you can start to communicate, but not in this current state. In in year I am leaving the city where she is so I think my choice will be very easy. In the mean time take care and stay strong... doing great

Get busy, and stay with NC, as your feeling better, but need to stick with what works.

Time heals.. u have to move on. It seems to me that what you are doing the right thing. You need someone in your life that wants to stay with you and not someone who is going to run away with someone else.. until she's single again No contact at all!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Onokio

time heals.. u have to move on. it seems to me that what u r doing the right thing. u need someone in your life that wants to stay with u and not someone who is goin to run away with someone else.. until shes single again No contact at all!

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Thing is I will never know when she'll be single again because, although she may then think of coming back to me, she is too selfish to call. But to be honest (and I never thought I would ever say that so soon after our breakup) I don't know if I honestly care whether she'll be single again or not.

That s progress, great!! I also want to add that if she is a selfish person, and has been that way why do you still want to anything to do with her. Now that you are out, you will find someone else it is just a matter of time, and someone who is willing to care about you and keep caring (I am sure she did not seem selfish in the beginning during the first couple months)

Just to give you an update, I am now at a month of complete NC and am thinking of breaking it.

The thread is here https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ml#post1235609

I would like your input since everything written in this thread helped me a lot and played a huge role in my healing.

Thanks a lot.

BREAK NC? Dude. have some self-respect.

Don't do it!!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ash123

BREAK NC? Dude. have some self-respect.

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I hear you. But, honestly, why shouldn't I ? Especially since there is nothing she can do or say to make me feel miserable, angry or depressed...

I bet if you look through Sneezy and my old posts, you can find a lot of reasons. Or hey I got 30 reasons right away, that's how long you've been doing it so far! Just let a sleeping dog lie

Call her if you want.

I was only giving you practical advice, based on a girl being with someone else and not talking to you, but if you want to go for it,
There is no law stopping you.

Let me now how it goes.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ash123

based on a girl being with someone else and not talking to you

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Then why the hell does she call me and hung up ?

Damn, she's weird... Or confused... I don't know.

Yes, she is weird. Yes she is confused. That's why you stay back. Its her move. Your work is done. If you cannot resist, ring her up. She will be weird and confused, but maybe one day she will not be... let me know what you do. I'm Sure its torture. Rent some funny movies and kill a couple days.hang in there.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ash123

Yes, she is weird. Yes she is confused. That's why you stay back. Its her move. Your work is done. If you cannot resist, ring her up. She will be weird and confused, but maybe one day she will not be...let me know what you do. I'm Sure its torture. Rent some funny movies and kill a couple days.hang in there.

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Nah, it's not torture. As I said, the days I wanted her back like crazy are long gone.

Thanks for your input there, buddy. I'm not going to do it, after all...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by broken_arro

Nah, it's not torture. As I said, the days I wanted her back like crazy are long gone.

Thanks for your input there, buddy. I'm not gonna do it, after all...

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Strip club helps a lot (in my opinion)

I haven't contacted her and decided that I will not do so.

By today the car her 2-month boyfriend bought for her should have probably arrived so hopefully she will be concentrated on him and not make these calls again, because, although I liked knowing that she's still interested, I feel like they held me back ! Which is a pity because I am starting to enjoy my life A LOT!!

Keep enjoying it! Make use of modern technology and screen your calls with caller ID.

Just because she is confused, and immature, doesn't mean you have to be.