Its weird because what he did, in a way, is a mature thing. He realized we were in different places with different needs and wants and ended it. My dissapointment is that we somehow grew apart. But I can understand that he just did what was best for us both.
What comes next is the scary part... not knowing if there will be someone better or if our paths will cross again.
But there's that building myself up for whatever comes next, right?
No looking back, you're right...

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What comes next is the scary part... not knowing if there will be someone better or if our paths will cross again.
But theres that building myself up for whatever comes next, right?

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Fear of the unknown is normal for all us humans, and healing is what you do to deal with the next thing life brings, good/or bad.

If somebody doesn't want to keep working on a relationship, they've already checked out long ago, they just haven't announced it to you yet.

I know this thread is a few weeks old now, but I felt compelled to say I am going through the same situation right now. Im 28 and the ex is 30, but we were together for 7 years. For the first few years, of course I wasn't talking marriage or children because I wasn't thinking it, then the last year or so I made it clear that I would want kids in the future, and subtly he began to pull away from me and started having millions of friends and a time consuming hobby of fixing up old mopeds and vespas and getting into that 'scene' without me. He had also been the less responsible one over the years so I managed all of our money and kind of pushed him to go to trade school and when he would procrastinate over making important phone calls or something I would have to remind him and nag and coax him to take action etc. It never seemed to bother him in the past, or he just never said anything... We finally broke up because he admitted he will never want kids. That was a big shock because he had always kind of skirted the issue before. Because I just couldn't believe it, I made him explain more after he had been moved out for a week or two. He admitted that he was feeling less attracted to me the last few months and that he was happy with his new life. Is been 7 weeks and I am only just now starting to believe a reconciliation really won't happen. He said does love me so it has been hard for me to really accept this, even though he said right to my face, 'Im not going to change my mind.'

Im sorry I know I am not really offering anything to answer your question, but it helped me to see such a similar scenario so hopefully it will help you that someone understands what you are going through. Hang in there

Hi jasmin-
Thanks- I wish you all the best in everything from here forward. The situation sucks. Its been 8 weeks and I don't know what I feel. He's probably not going to come back anytime soon. I wish he had just said 'im not going to change my mind'. It might have been easier. And I wish he didn't want children or a family- but he does. Its so stupid to be holding onto something that may never happen. But at least you've got solid answers.
As far as answers, I may not have them definitely, but at this point he hasn't called on his own (only answers when I initiate) and I haven't bothered in 3 weeks. Its tough. And I hope this gets easier.
Its nice to know someone else's point of view.

2 months post break up, 25 days no contact, still anxious.
This sucks.
He may never come back/realize what he had.
He has made no effort to contact me.
Hes probably over it.
I'm not and I want to be for my own sanity.
Time sucks.
I wish I could see into the future.
The anxiety is killing me.
People change all the time, right?
I'm afraid to let myself find someone new.
I miss him.
I want to be connected to him again.
I'm just angry/sad/tired/thinking.

Keep holding on... you will make it.

Someone new and better will come along and you will of needed this time to get over a past relationship.

I don't know your situation... but if it didn't work out.. and you didn't like something about him.. that's not going to change. Stop holding on to the thought of him..

Time does suck.. but it's the one thing that lets you heal.

Good Luck!

You will feel better soon enough, I know it sucks now but you will see how much better off you are in time.

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Originally Posted by HopeDiesLast

2 months post break up, 25 days no contact, still anxious.

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Congrats on 25 days no contact!

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He may never come back/realize what he had.

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Hiss loss?

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He has made no effort to contact me.

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Good.. you guys are avoiding all the unnecessary drama.

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Hes probably over it.

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Doubtful

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I'm not and I want to be for my own sanity.

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Your working your way towards it - just stick to NC

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Time sucks.

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Today is just a bad day

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I wish I could see into the future.

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That would be kind of boring though wouldn't it?

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The anxiety is killing me.

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Today is just a bad day

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People change all the time, right?

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Its called growing up

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I'm afraid to let myself find someone new.

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That should not be a priority - this time is about you

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I miss him.

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There's nothing wrong with that

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I want to be connected to him again.

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Are you sure about that one?

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I'm just angry/sad/tired/thinking.

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Remember today is just a bad day

One day in the future you will reflect on your relationship and be glad it was over. Venting is okay and do it when needed. Sometimes you wish you can fast forward time to where your completely over him but time moves slowly. Keep up no contact and soon your venting will be in a different tone because you would have heal.

Thank you guys... I really appreciate it. I've gotten to the point where, one way or another, I just want to be able to happy again. I'm so sick of being miserable!
Pragin-i would like my old Tony back. This Tony who left me blows. And change- that's the problem. He hasn't grown up and I have.
Where is this new person that will make it all worth while? I wanted him to be on the same page as me so badly. Now I just want him to realize or the new person to appear.
But first I'd like to be able to smile more.

I'm scared he's really over this. I'm scared he won't realize.
Sometimes I feel like his issue was really with me.

One step at a time.. work on the smile first.

Can't give yourself to someone when you aren't whole...

I really understand how hard it is and I also wish I could wake up and have completely forgotten about her but unfortunately its impossible so just keep the NC and stay strong.

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I'm scared he's really over this.

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You should not care about what he is doing or thinking. You should only care about how you deal with yourself and what you are doing to get over it.

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I'm scared he won't realize.

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Well that is his loss, but don't torture yourself until he does. You don't want to be with someone that can't appreciate what you had.

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Sometimes I feel like his issue was really with me.

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Do not bring yourself down. I don't know the details but do not do this to yourself.

The new person will come at the right time, but first you need to stand on your own two feet. Things can only get better from now on. Just keep the NC and take it a day at a time.

I feel exactly the same. 3 months. She has no regrets yet misses me sometimes.

Problem is that I know exactly where she is and what she's up to without having to ask. She works on my street and is friends with my sister in law.

She's living with her new boyfriend.

Just be glad you don't know what he's doing.

I'm afraid to admit he wasn't who I thought he was. I don't want to believe he can't give me what I need. I want to think this is just a phase and he WILL realize. I don't even know why.
I know what I want... I know he wasn't giving it to me. But I believe he can.

HopeDiesLast, you admit he wasent giving to you what you want.

He didn't think it was worth to give it to you.

You have wants, and you need someone to give them to you.. you are worth it.

Keep repeating it to yourself..

Thanks kissme! I'm normally so confident. I just don't get how one person can knock me down like this... or why I let him. It angers me.

Well, we are all human! :)

Full of emotional,physical needs and wants...

Sometimes those wants try to over come our needs...

I want to call him :( or at least text. I won't, but I want to.