Tell your girl friend. You will be doing her a favor, not ruining her life. You two have not been together that long and it will be good for her to know early on that you can't think past a hard-on. Also if you had unprotected sex, you could really be saving her life.
Get over yourself. She will live through this.

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Originally Posted by TheodoreLamont

I told her this morning and she was angry and such but said she still loves me and she didnt dump me

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Your girl friend sounds like a very weak and desperate person. I would have dropped your butt like a hot potato

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Originally Posted by TheodoreLamont

I said to blame me, i know I'm at fault. and this girl has liked me for a year before we started dating so she kinda has inveested a bit of time in this relationship

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Wait, I said you were both at fault, the other girl though is less at fault with your girlfriend because she's not the one who cheated on her. Them meeting is not good, but short of tying her down or caging her you can't prevent it, she's got to realize that the two of them meeting will end badly. Maybe tell her to wait a few weeks and then you'll talk about it again. Maybe this will give her enough time to cool down and realize that confronting this girl is a mistake. I can say one thing however, you are darn lucky that she has decided to forgive you and you better not deceive her again. You know what they say "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me." Don't hurt her again, ever!

Trust me this will never happen again, this is the first time I have cheated, ever and I never plan to repeat it. And why don't people read that I told her *sigh*

People don't read... They just yell. It's easier. :cool:

Sorry I replied before I read that you told her. I still would drop your butt like a hot potato

The truth will set you free. Go for it if she leaves you at least you can respect yourself other wise you will allways be waiting for the other shoe to drop

(man, people do not read posts I guess :-)

Anyway, let me know how it turns out... this is some HOT water and you boiled it.

Indeed, some people should read more and I shall report back on what happens

I cheated once... on a BF in college. I had a one night stand with this foreign exchange student. So, I never told my boyfriend because I knew I would be confessing to aleviate my own guilt and I would end up hurting him. But - I hated the fact that I had cheated on a guy that I really loved. So, I broke up with him. I gave him the whole "we are both at really different places in our lives right now" speech. He hated me after that -for breaking up out of the blue, but I loved him enough to know that he deserved to be with someone better than me... someone who wouldn't have a random indiscretion with a foreign exchange student. The sad thing is that I still love him and I think about him almost every day. So, I f*ed up. I live with the guilt of it. He never knew, so he didn't have to go through the emotional baggage of being cheated on. So, having been in your shoes...

If you really cared about this girl (this needy, desperate, kind of psycho scary that she'd stay with you - clearly has no self respect kind of girl) you wouldn't be with her. Also - brace yourself... any time you mess up - this is ammo. She will throw it back in your face. She is late for a date "Yeah. well. I'm not the one who banged a hoe at a party". You will constantly be apologizing. DUMP HER. Start over. Some slates you can't wipe clean.

There should be a disclaimer on this forum:

If you cheat, you will die...

You need to let this girl go. Let her go, tell her you're sorry, tell her she deserves better. Let it go. As anamia said, this crap will come flying back at you like beads on mardi gras.

Well I convinced my girlfriend not to meet the girl and yea I think I have got everything under control. Also to the people who think that my girlfriend will keep throwing it in my face when I get into an argument I don't care, I did something and that the result so guess what I get to live with it. Anyway that's everything for this, thanks to anyone who actually help.

Do not assume that your cheating is that important! What WILL destroy this girl is if you stay with her under the false impression that you are a good boyfriend! It will be much worse if you do not tell her and she finds out later down the line, and trust me SHE WILL FIND OUT! No one ever gets away with stuff like that, it may not be right away but she will find out eventually.

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Originally Posted by TheodoreLamont

Ok lets go thru the run down of what happened. I was at my friends house for a small party and during the night I became rather drunk and player some strip poker (which I won but thats not important really) after which a girl at the party and myself started flirting and stuff. Now the bad part of this is that I have a girlfriend (relationship is a few weeks long). Now when I'm drunk I like to wrestle and I started wrestling with this girl who was half naked and everything would have been alright up to this point (cuz I had told my girlfriend that i was going to a party and would being playing strip poker and some stuff might happen) However then things went overboard and a part of me started to tell me that I could do what I wanted with this girl (yea by a part of me basically look at it as a double personality seeing how thats it's equivalent) So anyways I ended up having sex with this girl who I found out likes me (kinda duh, why would she have sex with me if she didn't) and now I'm confused on what to do. Oh and its only been about 3 days since I cheated and me and my girlfriend will be seeing each other tomorrow.

I see my options as this:
1) I can come out and tell my girlfriend and ruin her life (No understatement like DEMOLISH her life)
2) I can completely Lie to her and get the people who know to be quiet (they are all good friends)
3) I can tell part of the truth that suggests that something happened without saying it happened and as such not lie but not tell her I cheated thus not destroying her life

Then again I may be missing something other then the fact I'm an idiot who cheated on someone who is very serious about him. Any suggestions?

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I have been cheated on: it hurts like HELL. But there is one universal truth--as true as the fact that the sky is blue. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FOUND OUT. The worst thing that could POSSIBLY happen would be for her to NOT find out from you thus destroying your/her life. You got yourself in a bad situation so DO NOT expect there to be any easy way out--there isn't and if so that would be too good to be true. You must tell her. Period. Yes it sucks but the only thing that will suck 1000 times more is NOT telling her. I swear on a stack of bibles--if there is anything in the world I know, it is this. PERIOD.

Grow the Hell up! Your g/f doesn't deserve you and your crap! Just the fact that you were asking yourself... should I tell her? can I get away with it? can I save my own sorry A$$? can I get my friends to get me out of this?. says that she should run away in the other direction as fast as she can. Leave her alone and let her find someone that is worthy of her time!

You are a selfish person and I think you are also quite arrogant to assume that this would "DEMOLISH" her life... get over yourself rockstar!

If you had any decency and respect for her, you would have told her that she deserves better, right after you told her the "truth!?" Shame on you!

Also, you thanked the people that "actually helped"? I think you were initially asking people to justify what you did and support you... not the people that were trying to tell you the way it really goes!

The best thing to do I think is tell the truth as it will come out in the end maybe not now but later and I think know that will hurt more. What more have you lied about since then be honest tell the truth and move on

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Originally Posted by TheodoreLamont

Well I convinced my gf not to meet the girl and yea I think I have got everything under control. Also to the ppl who think that my gf will keep throwing it in my face when i get into an argument i dont care, i did something and that the result so guess what i get to live with it. Anyways thats everything for this, thanks to anyone who actually help.

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Confused---you convinced her not to meet the other girl? Uh so you told her about it and she wanted to meet the other girl only to find that you convinced her not to?? Why would this be an option in the first place?

Also, you said the stripper girl likes you and "duh because she slept with you, so obviously.
Have you considered that women can have no strings attached flings as well? That is, we CAN sleep with a man without it meaning we are hooked on him. So, no it doesn't mean she likes you, although it COULD but maybe she just thought you were hot and wanted to try you in bed?

Wow people are cruel. Everyone makes mistakes and I'm sure many people here have or will hurt someone just as badly as you hurt her in their life time. I'd tell her the truth though.

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Originally Posted by vapo

Wow people are cruel. Everyone makes mistakes and i'm sure many people here have or will hurt someone just as badly as you hurt her in their life time. I'd tell her the truth though.

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I know you are new to this site, but you need to read through ALL posts, to get all of the info, and the feel for why our answers were what they were. Also watch for the date of the original post. This happened close to a yr ago. They might not even be together at this point.

We aren't cruel people, and for the most part, the people here are caring people. (although we do get the occasional troll, or someone who just doesn't care, and gives uninformed ill-advice) and often times there are posts that have been removed because of the nature of them, so if it is an older post, it is difficult to understand why some of us got so annoyed, because some of it has been removed. Sometimes it's also a matter of being a little cruel to be kind approach. Although some react negatively, we expect that, and try and take it in stride, but we are also human too. A lot of people come back to thank us, even if we've been hard on them, so it's a hit and miss sometimes. Not to mention the fact the we do this for free to try and actually help the people who honestly want the real truth. So those are just a few tips for you to consider.

Ok, first of all you must be pretty conceited to actually think that telling her you cheated would "demolish" her life. Yes, it would be extremely upsetting and painful for her to get through, but in the long run she'd be better off knowing the truth.

Being drunk is NO excuse. Get your priorities right.