You are so not listening to what I and others are telling you. Its not her its you. As you have her now, forget that other garbage, and treat her well now. Since you can't see that, your not ready for a healthy relationship. GET SOME HELP WITH YOUR ISSUES, ASAP. Or you will run her off!!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Tyne26

We were dating, we just hadnt agreed to say we were offically in a relationship......

---

So... she's fair game. To everyone.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Tyne26

i trated her so well, taking her for dinner buying her a little gift (only a teddy)......

---

... she owes you nothing. At all.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Tyne26

she said she really like me.........if only into me then why would she even kiss this guy and not give us the chance to get to know one another more?????

---

She never said she's into you and only you. She said she liked you. That means she can like other guys. And she did give you guys the chance to get to know one another more... because she eventually chose you.

... I agree with tal that you're insecurity is way off... either that or there's more to the story.

You all are young... don't panic.

You will feel less threatened as you get older.

Give her a break or date someone else.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

so...she's fair game. to everyone.



...she owes you nothing. at all.



she never said she's into you and only you. she said she liked you. that means she can like other guys. and she did give you guys the chance to get to know one another more...because she eventually chose you.

...i agree with tal that you're insecurity is way off...either that or there's more to the story.

---

There isn't more to the story... if I'm ina relationship with her I will be paranoid all the time now... I feel sick, can't eat can't sleep with all this... All my friends who are girls say if she was into me why kiss another guy?? They all seem to think the same as me

Please may I add that we were casually dating for 3 weeks and then when sat down 2 days before New Year I asked what was happening with us, we then discussed and agreed to start seeing each other but did not say anything about a relationship... so we had agreed to something in between if that makes any sense... 2 days later she kisses another guy... people have said if her interest level was high she would not have kissed another person

She agrees to go out to give her a chance to get to know you. Does that mean she can't date others, or the two of you are connected at the hip? Your both strangers, and very early in this dating thing, and its supposed to be fun, but you already see problems. Why not listen to those other girls, and end it, before you drive her, and yourself crazy, with your skewed sense of loyalty, and fidelity. She won't be around much longer any way, if you keep acting out your own issues.I don't think your really ready for a healthy relationship at this time. You don't love yourself enough.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by talaniman

She agrees to go out to give her a chance to get to know you. Does that mean she can't date others, or the two of you are connected at the hip? Your both strangers, and very early in this dating thing, and its supposed to be fun, but you already see problems. Why not listen to those other girls, and end it, before you drive her, and yourself crazy, with your skewed sense of loyalty, and fidelity. She wont be around much longer any way, if you keep acting out your own issues.I don't think your really ready for a healthy relationship at this time. You don't love yourself enough.

---

Tal I agree that we went out on a couple of dates to get to know one another better and that was fine... I agree that she could date others then if she chose as it wasn't discussed... what I was trying to say was that if we sat down and spoke about things and she agreed to officially start seeing me that shows a level of commitment to me & her... it was only2 days after this discussion& commitment that we had, that she kissed this other dude... She said she has never done it to any other guy she was just seeing and can't believe what she did as it isn't her and don't make sense... She did cheat on her ex but that was cause she found out he was cheating on her... every guy she has been with has left her for another girl... whos to say she wouldn't do it again when too drunk

So why are you still with her if you have these issues? Wouldn't it be easier to just walk away from all this? Than go through the misery and mistrust?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by talaniman

So why are you still with her if you have these issues? Wouldn't it be easier to just walk away from all this? Than go thru the misery and mistrust?

---

I just don't want to finish it and realise I was wrong and she genuinly can be trusted... I honesty don't think she would do it if she met someone else

Let me know when you make up your mind, and quit straddling the emotional fence.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

can't give tal a greenie.

if you two weren't exclusive, anything's fair game. is it tactful...? not really, but isn't that the whole idea of "dating"?

to describe it in a raw sense, dating's like trying on clothes. you pick out 3 - 4 things you want to try out, then you try them out...and then you pick the one you like the most.

you can be down about it, no doubt. I'd be down if a girl I really liked kissed another dude, but that's no reason to get mad about it and blurt it out to her. forget what your girl did before you two were official and let it go.

---

This is the part that is making me a little confused we agreed to start seeing each other which to me seems like we have agreed to be together... She changed her staus on bebo to seeing someone which made me feel she wants to kiss me and no one else... then a onth later we agree to go in2 a relationship... I guess what I'm saying is what is the differnce between these two status??

One isn't so serious, while the other is very serious!

Yeah. Dating is just that... it's dating. A person can date more than one person at a time...

It's not the most tactful way to go about it, and perhaps it should have been clear between the two of you that it wasn't an exclusive "dating" relationship... but that's the reason why there's a clear definition between "dating" and "relationship"

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

yeah. dating is just that...it's dating. a person can date more than one person at a time...

it's not the most tactful way to go about it, and perhaps it should have been clear between the two of you that it wasn't an exclusive "dating" relationship...but that's the reason why there's a clear definition between "dating" and "relationship"

---

Yeah I agree dating you can see other people as you are keeping your options open... We agreed after dating for 3 weeks to start seeing each other but did not mention anything about a relationship for over a month later... Two days into agreeing to see each other she kissed a guy who made a move on her for about a minute (her words) then she said she came to her senses and pulled away as she was seeing me... My first question is why even let it get that far?? And have I been cheated on?? When we agreed to see each other we didn't go int great detail, but from that I took this as a level of comittment.

Things were going great until I found this out. I have to meet her on Sunday to talk. This same situation has happened in my past relationships. Am I being made a fool of, was she not into me back then??

Im trying to look at it from all angles i.e. every guy in the past has cheated on her when they were just seeing each other, it was new year she knew I was at a party with loads of girls... Im not saying this gives her the right but in a drunken state she maybe confused.

... this is like beating a dead horse, and then shooting it, and then burning it.

People on this forum are ALL telling you... that you need to chill out. Really.

Why let it get that far? Who knows? Maybe she was feeling a little vulnerable + a little lonely... maybe she thought he was attractive?

Were you cheated upon.. you said it yourself... you two weren't in an exclusive relationship. So no. I agree.. it's not tactful, and it's not the prettiest situation in the world, but as far as technicalities go, she did fine. You should actually be OK with the idea that she pulled away. She didn't HAVE to pull back, but she did.

Apparently she was into you... because she pulled back. The thing is this... if I was just dating a girl (not exclusively... just dating), and she met another guy, and she kissed him, then pulled back and said, "sorry, i'm seeing this other guy"... and I Found out, it would tell me one thing: she likes me enough to be in a relationship with me. Then she got in a relationship with me.

Pre-relationship, you got to let that stuff slide. As long as she didn't mess around DURING the relationship, why does it matter?

I'm thinking... that this attitude of yours alone (the jealousy... self-esteem issues... ) will pretty much destroy any relationship you ever get into... unless you start dating someone from the brady bunch. If this relationship doesn't work out, look back on it, and learn from this. You got to relax. You got to let some stuff slide. Did she cheat on you? No? Then let it go.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

...this is like beating a dead horse, and then shooting it, and then burning it.

people on this forum are ALL telling you...that you need to chill out. really.

why let it get that far? who knows? maybe she was feeling a little vulnerable + a little lonely...maybe she thought he was attractive?

were you cheated upon..? you said it yourself...you two weren't in an exclusive relationship. so no. I agree..it's not tactful, and it's not the prettiest situation in the world, but as far as technicalities go, she did fine. you should actually be ok with the idea that she pulled away. she didn't HAVE to pull back, but she did.

apparently she was into you...cuz she pulled back. the thing is this...if I was just dating a girl (not exclusively...just dating), and she met another guy, and she kissed him, then pulled back and said, "sorry, i'm seeing this other guy"...and I Found out, it would tell me one thing: she likes me enough to be in a relationship with me. Then she got in a relationship with me.

pre-relationship, you gotta let that stuff slide. as long as she didn't mess around DURING the relationship, why does it matter?

I'm thinking...that this attitude of yours alone (the jealousy...self-esteem issues...) will pretty much destroy any relationship you ever get into...unless you start dating someone from the brady bunch. if this relationship doesn't work out, look back on it, and learn from this. you gotta relax. you gotta let some stuff slide. did she cheat on you? no? then let it go.

---

Thanks... You know I feel you have been the only one who has realised what I have been talking about... I don't know if people were clear that we had agreed to see each other i.e. we were now officially seeing each other but not in a relationship yet... She snogged the guy for about a minute it wasn't just some peck on the mouth I don't get jealous of stuff like that... I was not at this party either just to clear that one up too...

Everything went so well on the first 4 dates and I was told by numerous folk she really liked me... what she did has confused me and I am meeting up with her tomorrow... I had been under the impression that agreeing to see each other meant we do not go with anyone else

Quote:

---

I was not at this party either just to clear that one up too...

---

That begs a question, how do you know exactly what went on, and why were you not there, for one of the biggest parties of the year?

Hey,
Ur not crazy maybe there just having a friendly chat but if she's flirting with him already as soon as she meets him then that's wrong you have to find a girl you can trust, I have the same problem my boyfriend is going to the movies with different girls, so if you don't trust your girlfriend don't date her if you trust her you can keep dating her

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by talaniman

That begs a question, how do you know exactly what went on, and why were you not there, for one of the biggest parties of the year??

---

She told me what happened... Yes I agree I should have went when she asked me to the party but I had already made plans with friends

So your party left her alone at her party, so who was she supposed to kiss, it is traditional. Dude, let it go, its nothing, and 4 dates doesn't mean exclusive. How about relaxing, and get to know each other for 6 months, before you start making rules and regulations. What's the hurry? You have serious issues to work on and she can't help.