I guess that we got this a bit wrong.. the word agree might not be the most suitable to use. I feel that the case is more that it really hurts me that she fail to realize the importance of her drinking, she might not understand really what she puts me through those nights of worrying when she's out. I don't think she completely understands me and why her drinking is ruining the relationship between us. I don't think that if she "agrees" with me or not is the most important thing - I want her to understand it. If she understood it and still felt no need to change, then I'm obviously not as important as her drinking and clubbing, nor is she interested in saving "us".Quote:
Originally Posted by asking
Oh, I'm really sorry, first off I must say.. what a jerk.. really! What guy in their right mind would do such a thing to someone he loves? I can't believe he has the nerves to actually say to you that:Quote:
Originally Posted by asking
"You are trying to control me and it's unreasonable to have the demand on me that I don't take other women out."
I mean.. come on, that's really mean to you! If he loved you with all his heart he would NOT need to romance or go out with other women for some "special space time" or what ever. He would dedicate all his love towards you when he felt affectionate instead of needing other women!
Maybe it is some issue he has about himself and his self-esteem? He needs constant approval by other women because he feels bad about himself for some reason? I might not be on to anything, just my two cents. :)
You may be right, there could be a connection between us "demanding our unreasonable" things to them (:rolleyes: ) and them just wanting to do it to us even more to prove their righteousness. However, what other option do we have? I can't go on like it is and still keep my loving feelings for her as it hurts me too much.Quote:
Originally Posted by asking
You (and I) are saying it the wrong way - it really isn't about his "agreeing", it's about him facing the cold fact that:
He is taking other women out for attention/approval (the list of reasons could be very long) and you are very hurt by it (which you absolutely should be!) - Now if he does not see and understand that then what is there to do? I don't want agreement from my girlfriends side, I want her to understand the problem and from that point seeing that her drinking + our relationship doesn't have a very bright future, if any future at all. Theoretically I want her mind thinking "Damn, I really hurt him when I go out and get really drunk just to have fun, he won't take this for very much longer and if I love him I must change! Like that will ever happen :p
Yes.. this may be the only way :( If it was up to my brain I'd give her a thousand chances but my heart hurts too much to stay in this relationship :(Quote:
Originally Posted by asking
No problem, I totally understand, no hard feelings. I know many teens who drinks more frequently but it really disturbs me.. I've also partied a bit when I was her age and you still thought it was fun to experiment a bit with alcohol but I've grown up, and I can't sit around wasting my time waiting for her to come around.(Which she totally might not even do!) Her parents know, I think it's really just a phase she goes through just like many others but I can't see how me and her could stay together with this problem..Quote:
Originally Posted by asking
I'm proud of you for being to strong to walk away from him, you obviously did the right thing as it's in no way OK with his extracurricular dating on the side.
Best wishes, stay strong and I wish you all a Happy new year!